To ask how to entertain a baby on a daily basis?

[Worriedwart18]

I feel like a crap mum. I'm coming to the end of my maternity leave (only 2 months left) and I just feel like I've not done much with my baby. I don't know if it's the pressures of social media or if again I'm just a shit mum.

The first couple of months she was born I was bed bound with several post natal infections one after the other. At the same time my daughter was hospitalised shortly with an infection too. After we got over these I promised id make more of an effort to take her to baby classes.

We went for about a month (once a week) and she really enjoyed it and the other babies company. She then got a chest infection before Christmas so didn't attend and then all these classes and things were closed over Christmas so again thought new year, new start!

And then my daughter became really ill it was unforseen and she was hospitalised again with a deadly infection and it's knocked us for six. It's had a huge impact on my mental health and it's taken months for her to recover.

The past few weeks however I just haven't felt up to taking her to these classes. These lovely perfect mums who ooze energy and look fucking amazing.

I'm just a mess, on a weekly basis I see my mum twice (we often go out to the shops or I go to hers and she plays round hers). I also go out maybe once or twice elsewhere on different days. For example the park for half an hour or to the shops again. Sometimes even little drives just to get out the house/get her to nap.

My daughter definitely sees other people but it's mainly adults as not many children in our family. As far as her development goes she's excelling and knows she is very much loved. I give her non stop attention.

I know I'm making excuses for myself and I should just go or try other baby environment places I just don't feel ready yet. I'm still coming to terms with everything thats happened and don't want to be know as "Debby downer" who cant get over the fact her baby nearly died.

At the same time I have this niggling voice in my head saying that my baby is bored and I need to do it for her and time is running out! I can't win!!

So basically AIBU to not go to these yet or at all.. I don't have many friends, well not any who have babies. I'm under the perinatal team and taking medication for my anxiety (postnatal depression has been ruled out).

Do you think it's ok to spend some days indoors? We watch films together, take naps, I put a blanket down on the floor and play with sensory toys for hours, and I read to her and sing to her and give her cuddles.

I did want to try swimming but she's not allowed to go until we've had the all clear after her op in June.

Thanks in advance

[PlasticPatty]

I kept all the baby stuff in one room. I set it up every night so there were different activities/things to look at around the room. At first I carried her around looking at things, then when she could walk a little she would make her way around and we'd investigate each 'new' thing she found. I rotated toys and equipment. She had a display bookcase mounted low on a wall so she could choose her own books. Bookcase was about ten pounds and the books started at 30p (it was a while ago!). But nothing was expensive, or a lot of trouble. I'm not naturally tidy so I trained myself to neaten things up as we went along. We had many, many happy days together enjoying what we had. We also went for walks (almost daily) and to groups when I could face it.

[Megan2018]

These classes did not exist when I was a baby. I spent most of my time with my Mum, and the odd other family member until my brother came along when I was 3.5.
I went to playgroup as a toddler but that's it.

I am a very well adjusted human who has not suffered from experiencing a lack of baby whispering. Baby classes are a load of money making nonsense in the main- you have both had a hard time. Your baby only cares about being with you!

My baby is due in Sept and I don't plan to go to any classes - it is my idea of hell on earth. My baby will instead spend time getting filthy on the farm where I keep my horse and learning all about the countryside - not sat in some manky hall with a load of other babies that she couldn't give a shit about.

Toddlers need interaction though obviously, but little ones can be entertained without you having to pay to be made to feel inadequate.

[WarmCoffee]

It sounds like you're doing great. Baby classes for babies under 1 year are definitely more for the mums benefit that the baby. One-on-one attention like playing on the rug at home with you is what your baby will enjoy the most. I don't really get the pressure to go to "groups" on mat leave, all that sitting on the floor making small talk with other mums.

I haven't had any of the dreadful problems you've had with health, but I feel guilty about not going to groups. I'm stuck in this cycle of not going-feeling guilty and inadequate-stressing-dragging myself and baby to a class-finding it really underwhelming-not going to class... Etc. You get the picture!

[Greatbigwhoooo]

Sounds like you are an amazing attentive mummy who has had a really really tough start. Go easy on yourself. Baby groups are 99% for the benefit of the mums. If you don’t actually fancy them yourself it’s not obligatory. If you’d rather go on some nice days out with your mum (shopping/ walks/ cafes ) I’d say that’s great way of making the most of your last couple of months and leave. Also having the patience to play with your baby 1:1 at home is fantastic for them.

[humblesims]

Honestly you dont need to 'entertain' your baby. All your baby needs is your love and attention. Its a very new fashioned thing to entertain a baby. In the 'old days' you'd be lucky to be put out in the garden in a pram with only the birds and clouds for entertainment. Your baby will be fine and the occasional trip out and company of other babies sometimes is all they need. Do not stress about this.

[NunoGoncalves]

Babies don't need classes and they don't need the company of other babies just adults who love them

This.

In terms of something to do though, most babies are happy just to see a different bit of scenery every now and then –a simple walk around the block/trip to the shops/park/basically anywhere different to home.

[yikesanotherbooboo]

As everyone says all your baby needs is to be well fed, warm, clean and to have you with her. The baby groups aren't for her benefit. Go if you think you will benefit and din't if not. Like a pp said it's hard not to look at them as money spinners for someone else. You are going out and socialising already. Do whatever makes you feel sane . Best of luck

[dragoning]

We watch films together, take naps, I put a blanket down on the floor and play with sensory toys for hours, and I read to her and sing to her and give her cuddles

You sound like a great mum. Don't forget that younger siblings get nowhere near this level of attention and interaction!

[thedisorganisedmum]

I never went to any baby club for any of my kids, they are completely pointless to the actual babies.

They are great when kids start to become interested in different toys, and need to get used to other children. They don't play together, but toys being snatched from their hands and kids shoving them away is a bit of a shock at nursery without a parent if they haven't experienced it before.

I think it's important to take the baby outside every day, for your own sanity too. I like the idea of fresh air, and I don't like being stuck indoors.

I used to like pushing the buggy at nap time with a coffee in my hand. We also went to supermarket and garden centres, babies found them just as interesting as Disney let's be honest!

I am not sure about watching tv, but you might as well enjoy watching movies and programs whilst they are too young to understand

[IdblowJonSnow]

What a time you've had op. How you are with your baby sounds lovely to me. Try not to worry and enjoy the rest of your mat leave.
I was all about the baby classes first time and was miserable and insecure deep down. Didn't know what I was doing. Second time around it was all easier emotionally and fewer baby classes. They don't necessarily mean anything.
Don't forget even post mat leave you will still get lots of time with your baby and can do loads on a wkend when weather gets a bit better.

[avocadoincident]

I think you are doing really well.
You don't need to do more unless you want to. X

[Darkstar4855]

I do classes with my 3 month old but it’s more for me than him - I was struggling with PND and needed reasons to get out of the house and interact with people.

I don’t think your baby will miss out if you don’t go. It sounds like she gets plenty of interaction and play already. I would second PP recommendation to get a sling and go out for walks though. I did a lot of that in the early days when I was too disorganised to shower and get out in the morning for classes. Just wander round your local streets and chat to her or sing songs. It will do you both good. If you have a local sling library you can try different slings and hire them cheaply.

[Nearlythere1]

OP i think you sound like you've done a great job. You've been there with her and for her every step of the way over a trying time, and that's all she'll ever have wanted from you. Please forgive yourself and enjoy your last couple of months with her fulltime!