To pack my family up and go travelling for an extended period.

[plumsarepurple]

And by travelling I mean nice hotels or a round the world cruise.
Dh earns a good salary & we all have an ok life. The problem is we are all very stressed out. Dh hates his job and has been looking for months now for a new one well almost a year. I was a sahm but recently got a really bad job just to take some pressure from dh ie to get school hours I’m now back to being a junior in my career which is hard tbh and I’m on the lowest wage I’ve been on since about 12 years ago!

We’ve been thinking about selling our house and buying something outright to let out and go travelling for a year. The only problem obviously is when we come back we’d have to sort schools and jobs anyway which hasn’t been easy! Dd is 5 so we believe she won’t be held back and I already do a lot with her now. We have no childcare and are all exhausted constantly by everything, we just seem to be putting one foot in front of the other everyday.

[ArfArfBarf]

Would you consider working abroad? Perhaps your dh could start looking more internationally? I know several people at exec level recruited to fill positions abroad where visas are usually problematic and the companies seem to have no issues. (I appreciate this might mean some changes in your career but your OP suggested your return to work was more a necessity than a desire).
It would give you a base to explore a new region alongside working ie great weekends away, and in some countries it is normal to have more help so the domestic grind is less of an issue if you both want to work.

[HarrysOwl]

I've read my post back and I think I've been a bit over-negative; it was a fantastic experience, and really drew DH & I closer together. I had so many incredible experiences, and I think you may always be wondering 'what if?' if you don't try it. I know I would have regretted it if I hadn't.

If you have the means, the opportunity and the desire, (and you're ready prepared for the realities) then I don't think it's running away; it's living.

[plumsarepurple]

@HarrysOwl thanks for your post that actually made me see more the reality side of things. I’ve travelled a lot and dh nearly never home for his job but travelling first class everywhere at someone else’s expense is definitely different to travelling with dd. We’ve travelled the world with dd but only for two week stretches st a time. We go abroad about 5 weeks a year & we always feel better afterwards.
I didn’t mean to brush off everyone’s ideas I certainly haven’t made my mind up. We were planning to sell our house and buy a flat to let out in London so as to leave ourselves something to come back to. Our jobs aren’t necessarily in demand but not difficult to find work only highly paid work so my dh is exec level so isn’t so easy to find the top salaries since the brexit malarkey and we think it might be that a lot of people aren’t moving jobs until everything settles down (which at the moment also includes dh as he can’t find anything different).

Lots of food for though on this thread though so I will have a think. Perhaps we are running away I don’t feel like we are but maybe we are and my heads in the sand!

[HarrysOwl]

I've done this. DH & I sold everything we owned, rented out our house and bought a one-way ticket to Asia.

Full-time travel is HARD. You still have to eat well, get about, get clothes washed, work out language/currency/culture differences and you need energy in abundance to enjoy sightseeing too. And deep pockets if you want to have a good sleep in a clean bed every night. You need to make dozens of decisions every day, more so than at home.

I'm glad I did it, but after 12 months travelling Asia & Europe I was DONE. I wanted my own kettle, a bed with my own mattress and a nice local shop. More than that, I missed routine. It messes with your head.

I don't believe all those perfect Instagram accounts, every long-term traveller I met was knackered and repeated the same conversation over and over - 'have you been to X? Don't bother' 'Oh you'll get ripped off at Y if you're not careful' etc etc. Very jaded and wary.

Being away for a year, friends and family of course carried on and I found it really hard when I returned to get back into their lives; done friendships never got back on track and this was totally unexpected.

Now I go for trips no longer than 6 weeks, my absolute limit! But honestly, having holidays of 1-2 weeks to places you really want to see and doing it WELL is much, much preferable. Do a cruise if that's your thing, have a break, recharge.

[Mmmmbrekkie]

This doesn’t sound like a positive move forward
It’s running away

Focus efforts and energy in changing status quo

[Sakura7]

mummymeister

I did say "in my experience". So hardly a sweeping generalisation.

Also the main issue seems to be their jobs. So unless they're planning a sabaticcal and coming back to the same jobs, this does solve that problem. Of course they don't have to travel and could just quit their jobs, but clearly they want to go away somewhere. So why not?

[mummymeister]

Sakura7 - that's a massive sweeping generalisation there. I have travelled extensively and for long periods of time as well. And I love travelling. Yes, it absolutely broadens your horizons and is good for the soul. but this is not what the OP is saying. she is saying that they are in a rut and see going away for a year as solving their problems. Sorry but it absolutely wont. they will come back and pretty soon be straight back where they were. In the same rut and actually feeling worse about it. Travelling for a year with a partner and with a child takes a lot of planning to make the most of it. being with someone 24/7 for a year is tough as well. what about family emergencies? will they come back or not? what about health and education? none of these are insurmountable but just thinking that with a 5 year old you can head off and travel and come back to find everything is different is bonkers. it wont be.

IncrediblysadToo - yep the OP wants to do it so will I guess.

[anniehm]

Yes I definitely would! Sell up buy outright rent out house and travel/homeschool. We worked overseas for a while so it was ideal (for those unable to afford it otherwise). Go for it, you only live once!

[IncrediblySadToo]

Given you’ve just dismissed what everyone has written and have decided what you want to do, what is it you’re actually wanting to ask/know/discuss?

[Sakura7]

The people who say "you're only running away from your problems" are generally (in my experience) the ones who have never really travelled or have no desire to, so don't see how it can benefit someone in this situation.

[user1497997754]

We have decided to do something to shake thing up and have a change. We are going to buy a house in Crete next month. My hubby taking 25% out of his pension funds next August and retire at 55. We will rent our property out here to cover mortgage and agents fees and abit left over for repairs etc. It's just me and hubby and our 2 dogs. We will prob come back in about 20 years time. Can't wait......a couple of our friends died recently having just retired at 65 .....one of them wanted to retire to Spain and the other retire to France. life is far to short if I was you I would go for it and enjoy it x

[justmyview]

You wont come back revived and refreshed you will come back to exactly the same house, same area, same shit

I agree with this. Your plan sounds like running away from your problems, not dealing with them. I wonder if relocating to a cheaper area, less stressful job, lower salary might give you better work / life balance

[PregnantSea]

Do it

[Sakura7]

Are you both working in fields that are in demand? If so, you should be ok. Especially if you keep up to date with what's going on in the industry. Is there a possibility of doing ad hoc freelance work in that field while you're away?

[plumsarepurple]

We have savings and have the sense not to leave ourselves with nothing on return.

We could adjust our lives here we are very modest people don’t care about houses cars etc our house is 1000 sq ft hardly the dream home!!! But worth enough as close to London.

I don’t think we want to change careers. Since having dd we both don’t care about the career but realise we have to work and that’s that, before dd we were chugging along working so hard to get to the top now we both just don’t care but obviously won’t just let it all go unless we have something else we are prepared to do. There isn’t anything else we care to retrain in. I do think the change of scenery will help. But on the other hand I’m worried we’ll burn our bridges here and come back and the biggest worry is we might argue about what we’ve done to ourselves I suppose if it all goes wrong. We get in very very well now but we are all a bit down about our situation. And I’m not silly of course we can change it but this is the change we’ve sort of come up with.

[Amortentia]

I don't agree with the "You're just bringing your problems with you" comments. I heard this from people when I went travelling (albeit as a single person). Sometimes you need a long break and a change of scenery to help get you out of a rut. If the problem is having jobs you hate and the stress it puts you under, then getting away from that is a good thing. But obviously you need to consider what to do when you return, so you don't end up in the same position again

Totally agree, doing this can really change your perspective and broaden your horizons in ways you can’t imagine when you are trapped in the day to day drudgery of life.

I would recommend traveling across south east Asia, it’s surprisingly easy to do, cheaper than Europe and enough of a culture shock to give you the change you’re looking for.

Have a look on the Lonely planet Thorntree website, there is loads of advice for each continent and traveling with children.

[Coronapop]

I think you would need a better plan for your return, ie income. If you don't you could find yourself in an even more stressful position when you come back. Could your DH get an unpaid career break so he has a job to return to?

[FlippinNora1]

My friends sister and her family have just done this. From what I know they are doing things like Airbnb and staying with friends of friends around the world. They have rented out their house and jacked in jobs (although I’ve a feeling they will probably get back into their lines of work fairly easily when they get back). School wise they have timed it to coincide with the last year of reception for their eldest daughter. They will return for her starting high school in September. I’ve no idea what will happen to their younger child school wise.

They post regularly on social media and it looks amazing! Such an experience!

My family did a huge trip round Europe when I was 7. It was a really wonderful time and something I clearly remember and look back on with such good memories. We did it in an estate car and a 5 man tent

[spanishwife]

I think you should absolutely do it! It will completely reframe your mindset and you'll be able to come and start refreshed and make the necessary changes to ensure you don't fall into the same trap again.

Obviously do the sensible thing and have a plan B e.g. somewhere to go 'home' to, more than enough money to keep you going.. perhaps a way to create some sort of income whilst you are travelling..

[MatildaTheCat]

I was just about to add the exact same thing as incrediblySad.

Plan a real trip, not a long holiday.

[Sakura7]

Agree with IncrediblySadToo. You'll get so much more out of that type of travel than doing a cruise.

[IncrediblySadToo]

I think you should do something while you have the opportunity.

However, I don’t think going on a cruise/hotel holiday is the answer.

I think you need something more life changing than a long fancy holiday.

Do it now, while DD is a good age to enjoy it but not miss much at school and before (if you’re even considering it?!) you have a baby/toddler to factor in or one of you has a great job etc.

Travel properly, meet people from different backgrounds, with a different outlook on life. Consider starting in NZ and working your way back or something. Or renting a house somewhere overseas. House swapping is quite cool. Anything. Don’t just waste your time lying on sun loungers. Think about both of your careers, where you’d like to live etc really take the time to think about the future.

Go do it

[geekone]

Do it. We went on holiday and met a family who did this. It gave them a great experience and time to reflect and when they came back their outlook was different and they got different careers. They did it in a camper van though and had a ball. They took their 8 year old out of school and home schooled him for a year. It has had no effect on his education and he is doing well.
If you can do it and life is too difficult then go for it.
You will get naysayers on here but life shouldn’t be difficult you are here once make the most of it. I will be suitably

[mummymeister]

there is no need to stay in the same place and in the same jobs and in the same rut with the same stresses. There are excuses why you are doing this like "wouldn't want to compromise on the house size" " wouldn't want to compromise on where we shop and what we eat" etc etc and I know these excuses inside out. But what you really need is a complete change. a new career, a new area and a new way of living. We left 2 six figure salary jobs (I was on mat leave from mine) because we were just working ourselves into the ground. no amount of holidays in naice hotels made us feel any better. You wont come back revived and refreshed you will come back to exactly the same house, same area, same shit. sorry but its true. Spend the time, effort and money thinking about career and life changes. it will mean compromise it will be mean shopping at lidls not waitrose it will mean battered old car but its so liberating when you do it and now I look back and think how did we ever live with the grind.

[Sakura7]

I don't agree with the "You're just bringing your problems with you" comments. I heard this from people when I went travelling (albeit as a single person). Sometimes you need a long break and a change of scenery to help get you out of a rut. If the problem is having jobs you hate and the stress it puts you under, then getting away from that is a good thing. But obviously you need to consider what to do when you return, so you don't end up in the same position again.