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AIBU?

How to tell colleagues I've returned to work?

44 replies

Settlethewreckage · 13/03/2019 13:21

Posting for traffic. I attempted suicide last year, and after a period of recovery I am now ready to return to work (go me! Grin). My supervisors and higher ups want to announce my return by sending an email to the unit, and I would like that too. I'm just not sure what to say. I am quite open and would like to be honest about why I was off, but I'm lost as to how to phrase it!

When my supervisor asked me I just said "tried to die, but failed so thought 'might as well return to work'..." Can some of you lovely ladies please come up with something a little more 'appropriate'? Blush

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rumptifizzer · 13/03/2019 14:26

As some of you may be aware I suffered terribly with a period of mental ill health last year which resulted in my absence from work in order to fully recover. I'm pleased to say I'm returning to work and looking forward to catching up with you all.

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bethy15 · 13/03/2019 14:27

I’ve been off work through depression. I am not embarrassed by it but doesn’t mean I want to talk to everyone about it. I pick and choose. Being open may become hard when you are on the 20th conversation that day with someone who thinks they are being kind by being interested but actually telling you about their or their families experience.

I'd agree with this entirely.

It's great to be open but do you want every single person knowing your business or some saying completely ignorant or inane things or presumptions, even saying crazy things like it's all in Jesus' hands (yes I've had people say such things).

I wouldn't want everyone knowing all of my business and have physical and mental health issues and I'm very selective as to who I say anything to as I've experienced too much utter ignorance for me to be wasting my time with. It can be exhausting and mentally draining when everyone has an opinion on your health.

Well done on your recovery to the point you're ready to go back to work. You're clearly doing really well with your recovery.

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christinarossetti19 · 13/03/2019 14:36

I agree bethy1. It's very easy to give away information about yourself, but you have no control over how others interpret it.

As a general email to everyone, I would just give the date that you'll be back say that you're looking forward to it and any other relevant info.

Then choose who you tell what and when as you go along. It's easier to adjust the gist of what you're telling someone if you can observe their reactions etc.

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MadameDD · 13/03/2019 14:38

You don't actually need to say anything to anyone really!

If you want to say thanks for support - yes that's great but I certainly wouldn't be mentioning suicide or mental health issues in your email as this may upset people either suffering with those issues or who have friends/relatives who have gone through the same issues.

If colleagues come to you separately to speak to you about why you're off and you're open about this or want to make people aware of your issues then maybe a fundraiser for World Mental Health Day and/or World Suicide Prevention Day would be a good idea to suggest.

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christinarossetti19 · 13/03/2019 14:39

Eg if someone has strong moral beliefs about suicide, it's not going to help either you or them talking about it at work.

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RomanyQueen1 · 13/03/2019 14:39

I'm no good at writing but wanted to say congratulations on coming through what I know is a difficult time. Thanks
All the best, and I'm so happy for you. x

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Settlethewreckage · 13/03/2019 14:42

Thanks for your input everyone Smile I have constructed something that largely resonates with what you've all advised. I was not going to make a joke about it in my email, I'm naturally one of those 'laugh it off' people and when my boss asked I panickedBlush

With regards to inviting discussion, I actually feel better when I know that people know. I am also quite active around mental health at work and feel passionate about paving the way for better treatment and recognition. I don't work in the same office as colleagues so I can escape any unpleasant convo a little easier Grin

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7Pip · 13/03/2019 14:47

I would keep it utterly professional. A period out of the workplace can make you forget what that is.
I would simply say, 'I'm delighted to be returning to work after a long period of illness. I am now fully recovered and looking forward to working with the team again'.

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jennymalone · 13/03/2019 14:50

i'm glad you decided to avoid anything jokey OP.

not at all appropriate and would be a big trigger if someone else has been affected personally by similar issues/is being impacted by them (themselves, a loved one).

if you want to raise awareness/de-stigmatise it, there are better ways to do it in a work setting - participate in those. (e.g. mental health / wellbeing teams at work, HR initiatives, informal support networks, charity fund raising, serving as a mentor to a struggling colleague or something)

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JustBloodyCold · 13/03/2019 14:51

Honestly OP, I wouldn't make a joke. You don't know what other people are dealing with in their lives and it could seriously upset someone. For example, I work with someone whose DP has just tried to commit suicide. After a period in intensive care the DP has only a short time left to live now. A joke could be incredibly upsetting to someone in that position.

I'm glad you are recovered and back OP. I hope your return to work goes well!

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GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 13/03/2019 14:53

@Settlethewreckage just wanted to say you have a really nice attitude towards being open about mental health.

Hope all goes really well with your return to work.

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7Pip · 13/03/2019 14:56

Are you ready to put your professional hat on again OP? It can be a bit of a strain after a period off work.

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StellaRae · 13/03/2019 15:04

Lots of good advice on here. Just wanted to say best of luck with your return to work!

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Justheretogiveaviewfrommyworld · 13/03/2019 15:16

I would say sometthing like:

Hi all, thanks so much for your support during a difficult time. Just a note to let you all know that I'm back and raring to go!

Looking forward to catching up on [return date]!

Settle Smile

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MummySharkBabyShark · 13/03/2019 15:18

@SettleTheWreckage

Congratulations on your recovery. Flowers

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TheOrigFV45 · 13/03/2019 15:22

A PP asked whether the email was coming from you or from someone else. If it's not from you directly, then it's important it states that they have your agreement to send the frank explanation.

I am very glad to hear of your recovery

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Deathraystare · 13/03/2019 15:32

So glad your attempt failed! Good luck on your return to work. I wouldn't put too much in the email about your illness. Some people will get obsessed and that is all they will talk about (and probably give their opinions too! If that is the case change the subject. You may be open about it now and ok at talking about it but after a while you will want to move on.

All the best!

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7Pip · 13/03/2019 15:39

Bear in mind that you're coming from an environment where you're surrounded by medical professionals who will encourage you to talk etc. And that is a safe place to talk.
Back in the workplace, I'm concerned that you're not quite prepared to return to a professional environment yet. There may also be silent judgment. You are entitled to privacy about your medical history. It's fantastic that your management are supportive.
However, I would not leave yourself open to public discussion or criticism.
The only thing that your colleagues need to know is that you are well enough to work. Nothing more, nothing less.
My advice to you would be to only discuss it with close colleagues and not publicly, by email or in face to face discussions.
Protect yourself.

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Bellasorellaa · 13/03/2019 15:50

everyone so far given good advice just wanted to say stay strong, you are needed here and wanted Flowers

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