AIBU to be sad that my DD can’t go on a brownie sleepover?

[Only13percentleft]

NC’d for this as it is identifying.

My DD is a Brownie and loves going each week with her friends. Her Brown Owl has asked if the girls would like to go on a region organised sleepover where lots of Brownies sleepover at a theme park and then have a fun day on the rides together.

A bit of back history first. After receiving the Girlguiding email in September (about the inclusion of trans women/girls in the organisation) I wrote to Girlguiding asking if they would still be offering single sex sleeping arrangements (as they are now a single gender organisation) as I didn’t want my DD to be sharing with the opposite sex on residentials. They ‘reassured’ me that they would look to accommodate any request that helps a girl feel more comfortable saying that ‘this has included organising separate facilities for anyone who needs them.’

Fast forward to this sleepover, only 4 months later. I aske d Brown Owl if she could guarantee single sex sleeping accommodation for my DD. She contacted Girlguiding who are organising the sleepover. It has taken them nearly 6 weeks to come back to her but the long and short of it is that they can’t guarantee single sex sleeping accommodation. They’re going to be sleeping in large marquees with lots of different people from different units.

I’m really sad for my DD who now cannot attend this event. She needs to be in single sex sleeping accommodation and this can’t be guaranteed.


And if anyone asks why I’m posting this now, it is to make other people aware of this situation, especially as sleepovers are being organised for the summer. Girlguiding do not make it explicitly clear that single sex sleeping accommodation is not their default position. They do not say on their permission forms that you may be sleeping in the same space as someone of the opposite sex. Leaders are also not allowed to tell you if this is/is not the case.

[10IAR]

Weetabixandshreddies your tin foil hat needs adjusting.

[10IAR]

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer it was about 20 pages back to be fair.

That was Weetabix's sole argument against single sex spaces, because failures of her own DD meant that no girl would be safe.

[Weetabixandshreddies]

Weetabix it's too late now isn't it? You said she's left school, so wondering why you didn't advocate for her at the time is neither helpful nor necessary.
We did thanks. But not using your made up anti bullying law.

[Rufusthebewilderedreindeer]

Thank you 1OIAR

Obviously missed that completely

[10IAR]

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer her DD has left school. But she's blaming everyone (mostly girls) for the fact nobody spoke up for her child.

[Rufusthebewilderedreindeer]

Well if she's left them ignore looking a the policy

[Rufusthebewilderedreindeer]

School will have an anti bullying policy which you can view weetabix

[10IAR]

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis that's not a bad question, in fact, I wonder why middle Eastern countries aren't having the massive spike in MTF trans people that apparently are everywhere.

Weetabix it's too late now isn't it? You said she's left school, so wondering why you didn't advocate for her at the time is neither helpful nor necessary.

You're right, bullies are to blame for bullying. But parents are for advocating for their children when they can't do it for themselves. The fact you didn't, isn't anyone else's fault, no matter how many different ways you say it.

[Rufusthebewilderedreindeer]

No the people responsible for the bullying are the bullies

Yes i agree

I missed the original comment earlier

[Rufusthebewilderedreindeer]

What happens to boys from the middle east who all wear dresses (dishdashas) all the time. Why are they not “turned”?

As long as they are not pink they should be fine

[Weetabixandshreddies]

You and the school had the responsibility to protect her using anti bullying legislation.

So really, it wasn't teenage girls at fault was it? It was the adults supposed to protect her.

No the people responsible for the bullying are the bullies.

And what is this anti bullying legislation? Is that to be found next to the changing cubicle legislation that doesn't exist either?

[Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis]

What happens to boys from the middle east who all wear dresses (dishdashas) all the time. Why are they not “turned”?

[10IAR]

Hahaha Pink the dinosaur doesn't have quite the same ring does it?

Ironically DD loves Blue because she's a badass girl

[Datun]

If you dress a boy in pink/gender neutral, of course he's not going to know what he is.

Away with you and your sexist claptrap.

[10IAR]

GerryblewuptheER awesome!

[Rufusthebewilderedreindeer]

Shoulda called her pink

Epic fail

No wonder she's pissed off

[Rufusthebewilderedreindeer]

Ahhh awesome

I love blue

Who ironically is a girl!!!!!

[10IAR]

If you deliberately dress a girl in a spiderman outfit, or a boy in a tutu, what are you telling them? You're telling them, we are not sure what you are, so you can choose

Er no, we're telling them to like what they like and that their genitals don't dictate whether they like it or not!

Ffs where did you spring up from? The 1840s?

[Rufusthebewilderedreindeer]

Who are you actually talking to 7

one person has said their son has a tutu and it seems to have set you off

[10IAR]

Makes me want to watch jurassic world again

It's Blue she's pretending to be! She's got the mask thing but she's furious that her face is too small to make it work and make noises

drspouse I'm a dreadfully remiss mother aren't I? I shall force her to wear frills and Pride and Prejudice at once

Oops....sorry

Totally worth it!

[GerryblewuptheER]

Bloody hell

Boys can wear tutus if they like what's the problem.

Dd2 was a dog for months. Ate her breakfast out of bowls on the floor.

I still remember the look of absolute confusion on the face of a neighbours dog when she made constant headlines to drink out the dogs water bowl.

Luckily I figured it was a perfectly normal stage of development and agreed to walk her on a lead and make her do tricks.

I never saw a vet either

[7Pip]

Shock horror, I loved nothing more than tracksuits and getting mucky as a child. I now love high heels, makeup and tight skirts. A bit of cleavage doesn't go astray when I exert my power over men either. A brain and a bit of intelligence is also an advantage. My mother did try to make me sit down and not get dirty in my dresses. Lol. That never worked.
I despair for the next generation.
My own dd loved nothing more than looking pretty in a pink dress. She was also strong enough to stand up to herself because I gave her the confidence to be strong in her femininity! You can be both you know.
I have an acquaintance who is a trans female. She struggles with the venom that was directed at her as a teen (she's 50 now).

If you deliberately dress a girl in a spiderman outfit, or a boy in a tutu, what are you telling them? You're telling them, we are not sure what you are, so you can choose. And then you come crying on here because nobody has a clue what they are.

Stupidity of the highest order.

[Rufusthebewilderedreindeer]

Actually spat my tea out

Oops....sorry

[drspouse]

10 Shame on you for confusing her by letting her wear a dinosaur costume.

[Rufusthebewilderedreindeer]

Velociraptors are much better than trees

Makes me want to watch jurassic world again

I'll watch it on Friday night