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AIBU?

Bottle feeding

50 replies

NotSoThinLizzy · 24/02/2019 08:25

So I'm way ahead of my self here but bear with me. I breastfed my 1st born for 4 months before moving to formula. Im breastfeeding my 2nd he's 17 months.
I've had a positive pregnacy test yesterday and today.
So aibu to consider bottle feeding the new baby I don't think I could handle another wee one that was so difficult. Has anyone exclusively pumped? And did it that way?

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Eminybob · 24/02/2019 08:55

What about mix feeding? If you want the baby to get the benefit of breast milk, breastfeed during the day when it’s easy and convenient, then use formula at night when your oh can help out.

OwlinaTree · 24/02/2019 08:56

I have had 2 friends who have still been feeding when got Pg with their next, and they both said their older one just self weaned as the pregnancy progressed. So your now 17 month old will probably be off the breast by the time you give birth.

Eminybob · 24/02/2019 08:58

Sorry x post. (I paused reading the thread to feed my baby funnily enough)

NotSoThinLizzy · 24/02/2019 08:58

I had the wind and constipation when breastfeeding DS anyways he had a undiagnosed tounge tie.

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OnlyYellowRoses · 24/02/2019 09:02

Could you start expressing half way through your pregnancy whilst you're still feeding DC2 and then freeze all the breastmilk? That way you could be well stocked so newborn gets a good few weeks worth of breastmilk benefits, you won't have the hassle of trying to express with a toddler and the newborn taking up lots of your time and then when it runs out switch to FF?

OwlinaTree · 24/02/2019 09:04

The milk will be different for the 17 month old than for a newborn though, they have different nutritional needs.

NotSoThinLizzy · 24/02/2019 09:04

I don't know can you do that? As I would think the milk is different than what new baby would need?

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OnlyYellowRoses · 24/02/2019 09:04

Ah ok my mistake

namechanger2019 · 24/02/2019 09:12

Personally I would feel guilty not at least trying to bf my new baby if that is what the other children had. Also I would worry it would cause resentment when older if they ever asked about it. But we are all different, you need to do what is right for you and your family.

drspouse · 24/02/2019 09:14

You can never prop up a bottle for a baby to feed.
If they can hold it themselves it's OK to let them, but you mustn't leave them alone or let them fall asleep.

NotSoThinLizzy · 24/02/2019 09:15

Yes it's the guilt that's bothering me too. But I just can't see how I'm going to be able to be stuck on sofa cluster feeding while chasing a 2 year old 😂

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NotSoThinLizzy · 24/02/2019 09:16

No me holding bottle and then one free hand for DS is what I was thinking

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Oysterbabe · 24/02/2019 09:20

I exclusively expressed for DD, who was preterm and couldn't latch, for 6 months. It's the hardest way to feed your baby and I never would have done it again for DC2 if breast feeding hadn't worked out. It takes so much longer than breast or bottle feeding and it just wouldn't have worked with a toddler to look after too.

Pushpull · 24/02/2019 09:28

I think in your position I would gently wean the 17 mth old and have some time clear. (You might find he does anyway while you're pg)
I'd then give bf a go with the new born but be open to supplementing with formula. I know it's tempting to use it for the night feed but my understanding is that night feeds at first are good for milk production.

I've always though exclusively pumping mummies are super hero's. They have both sets of jobs so I don't think that will free up time for you really.

Bf rather than bottle tends to leave me with a free hand which is good for older children and cuddles but I get it might not help with active 2 year olds. Though your 2 yo may surprise you. And if you can master sling feeding that might help. Id direct the help people give to ensuring you can feed rather than getting them to feed the baby. When people visit see if they can help with the two year old, and perhaps have a box of toys that are pretty exciting but that only come out when you feed? I think it'll be hard for sure but doable.

But if you're just done. Then that's ok. Don't base the decision on whether they might be stroppy about it later in life. It isn't really their business is it!

NotSoThinLizzy · 24/02/2019 09:35

I guess after feeding for so long I just feel a bit like a milk cow 😂 I wonder if I have a break it would change how I feel. I definitely want to feed the colostrum

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Dreamingofkfc · 24/02/2019 09:36

I've not bottle fed but I found breastfeeding with a 2 year old fairly easy because you can do it on the go, can be out and don't have to worry at all about making up bottles or taking them with you. My middle one I had to wean when I was pregnant as couldn't deal with it by that point, but he was 2. Expressing is a flaff, I did it for a bit with my first but then didn't bother. Are you sure your husband would get up to do the feeds anyways?

Jinglesplodge · 24/02/2019 09:40

Look, tell me to go away if I've got the wrong end of the stick here, but are you in any way feeling a bit worried about the effect the newborn will have on your relationship with your 17 month old? Something strikes me as a bit uncomfortable about trying to get a 3 month old baby feeding itself independently so you can give your attention to the bigger sibling.

You could always tandem feed if you wanted to offer the same opportunity to breastfeed to the new baby and still keep nursing the toddler. But please don't feel you need the baby to be no trouble at all so that the toddler isn't put out.

NotSoThinLizzy · 24/02/2019 09:40

We are planning on doing a sleep schedule and taking it in turns so if baby wakes up in between 8 and 12 it's his job then my turn but then it'll change when he goes back to work

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NotSoThinLizzy · 24/02/2019 09:42

Gosh no not feeding itself as I've said I'll be holding bottle and then have one hand free for DS. But In obviously wrong 😂 it was just a thought

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Pushpull · 24/02/2019 09:46

I understood you didn't mean prop feeding. Just being a bit more able to jump up.

It's early days and you're hormonal. You don't need to decide anything just yet. Give yourself a break. It's natural to feel apprehensive about how it'll all work

NotSoThinLizzy · 24/02/2019 10:34

Thanks 😊 I like to have everything planned in advance.

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drspouse · 24/02/2019 10:42

me holding bottle and then one free hand for DS is
I've seen lots of BF mums do it one handed. I FF both DCs and never managed one handed.

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NotSoThinLizzy · 24/02/2019 10:50

I've never mange breastfeeding one handed I have to hold my boob for DS or he slips off which could just be the tounge tie

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horsinaround · 24/02/2019 11:00

Exclusive pumping is miserable. I am doing it now for my breast refusing DC3 (other DCs are under 5). To be honest he's mostly formula fed now as I just couldn't keep up

drspouse · 24/02/2019 12:22

If you FF you have to hold the baby and the bottle. If you think it's going to be easier because it will be one handed - it won't.

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