To refuse to take indirect flights with a toddler

[dellacucina]

to destinations where direct flights are readily available but generally more expensive?

That's all really!

[blackteasplease]

God just had a look at your past posted after reading the last pp. He sounds absolutely appalling. You should definitely LTB as soon as you can. Have you spoken go an immigration solicitor?

[MadameButterface]

Op you know your dh is a passive aggressive controlling arrogant selfish bullying arsehole, you have had many threads about his various charming foibles.

[Cambionome]

If it's something that matters a lot to you then you have the right to stand your ground over it (assuming it's something that you can afford and won't cause you financial difficulties).

What I find so odd about (all) your posts about your dh, is that you are constantly second guessing yourself over all sorts of issues: your clothes, food, flights ...etc etc. You seem to feel that his wants and needs carry more weight than yours do, and he obviously couldn't care less about your needs and wants...

Perhaps you need to think carefully about why this is?

[dellacucina]

DH is definitely a dick but he can sometimes be right about something even if he expresses it in a horrible way.

In this case, it appears there is scope to reasonably disagree as a lot of people have said they would/wouldn't spend much more for direct flights. Obviously it does depend on one's overall financial position and the relative difference between the prices.

[Cambionome]

Your dh is an utter dickhead, but then you know that.

[TeaByTheSeaside]

My DH's family live in Cape Town and we have to visit every 12-18 months. Before having DC we used to get indirect flights and it used to take up to twice as long depending on which route we took.

Cape Town is 12 hrs of misery direct anyway. There's no way I'm prepared to do this any way other than direct now that we have DC.

I basically said we go direct or not at all.

End of.

[blackteasplease]

He sounds appalling. This is much bigger than direct v indirect flights!

[CherryPavlova]

No toddler but I much prefer splitting the journey with a brief stopover to stretch my legs, use a real lavatory and maybe a shower and change. I would have thought splitting the journey with a toddler would be better with a wander around and freshen up in the lounge.

[DontCallMeCharlotte]

His general behaviour is a separate issue and is a known problem

It is indeed OP and (I don't say this lightly), I hope your New Year's Resolution is to LTB.

[lalafafa]

i did in direct when i was young and poor. No way now.

[Qasd]

It can break the journey up!..I did with a two year old and it was fine but I would rule some out, depends on the proposed route, five hours plus five hours in the middle of the night no, they would wake up when I just got them to sleep, five hours and five hours in the day no problem

[PenguinPandas]

That sounds like he maybe trying to avoid him or all of you spend time with your family. Does he not want to go and is sabotaging the trip? Could you and toddler go direct without him?

If he's like this all the time then you've got a much bigger issue than indirect flights - it sounds potentially quite controlling and nasty.

[MrsTerryPratcett]

If this is the hill you want to die on in your relationship, do. His seeming lack of care or respect for you might be more important.

[OliviaBenson]

Wow op, why are you with this man-child? Serious question. The more you post the worse he sounds.

[storynanny]

I flew indirectly to New York once ( without children) it was awful and I would rather fly less frequently and save to go direct.
Definitely wouldnt do it with little ones.
I once travelled on a train (1985) from portsmouth harbour to Derby with a 2 year old and an 8 month old on my own. Had to change at Birmingham . Different platform, double buggy, rucksack and no lift. It was horrendous.

[dellacucina]

His general behaviour is a separate issue and is a known problem

[MrsTerryPratcett]

Well now he sounds worse. Is this confined to travelling or is he always like this?

[dellacucina]

He forgot to do his ESTA in advance, sneered when I said we should check in online (which would have identified the problem), made us late leaving the house because he decided he had to install a security camera that morning, had an argument with the check in staff about whether we had paid for bags while waiting for the ESTA to come through at the check in counter (we hadn't but due to a technical error our tickets said we had and he wanted to benefit from the error)

[MrsTerryPratcett]

DH made us miss our flight

How?

He is sounding very self-centred.

[dellacucina]

I am saying this only for the pleasure of griping: on the way out I had packed a large number of lovely snacks for DD. DH made us miss our flight and we had to stay at an airport hotel, so she ate all the snacks and was in a foul mood for the flight! That one was direct but felt like a layover

[dellacucina]

woollyheart we don't fly that much, basically just to visit my family once ilor twice a year. He is unhappy with any expenditure no matter how much money we make - but that is an issue for another thread!

[dellacucina]

And the sleep issue is less fear and more that I am unable to sleep unless lying down flat. I have slept in business class before.

[dellacucina]

zzzzz it's really the whole package for me. I hate inconvenience, I dislike/fear flying, and I dislike it when DD is unhappy!