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AIBU?

To think I can't handle anymore?

30 replies

Mississippilessly · 29/10/2018 16:27

DS was born just over 6 weeks ago. Difficult birth, my episiotomy wound is still healing.

Since he has been born it has just felt like one medical problem.after another.

Firat off my episi stitches burst and gor infected. Late night trip to triage, GP error with meds, anti-biotics, airing it every day, daily bath. Painful and a hassle.


Then he had thrush which we treated and got rid of - it took us 3 weeks, treating him after every feed, treating me too, putting vinegar on my nipples, drinking apple cider vinegar, washing my hands so much they were raw, washing everything at 60.

I have also been on systemic treatment for a coldsore.

Now we think he might have silent reflux though we arent 100% sure.
He has also decided that in the daytime he will only sleep in his sling and the only thing that gets him off is a walk. I am obssessed with his sleep - im constantly worried he isn't getting enough, he can be awake for hours (10 the other day) if you dont work really hard to get him to sleep. He has also had a week of very bad night sleeping.

He has got much better at sleeping in the last few nights. Everything was looking up. This morning - he has thrush again. Sad

I dont know how much more I can take. My NCT friends are all booking swimming lessons which I cant do cos of the wound and I just feel like I am doing everything wrong and everything is against me.

If you got this far - thank you.

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Claireshh · 29/10/2018 22:31

What you are feeling is normal. Add in the medical issues and possible reflux? No wonder you are finding it hard!

My friends baby had silent reflux and it was so so hard. If the doctors are convinced that he has it why wouldn’t you give him the medicine? If you had a headache would you avoid taking paracetamol? Of course not!

As a mum of two now 9 and 7 I wish I had been kinder to myself in those early months.

Breastfeeding is wonderful but it isn’t the Holy Grail. You are not a bad mother or being cruel to your baby if you switch to formula.

Do keep going to meet friends but be careful not to overdo things. The social side of meeting Mums is good but don’t obsess if it seems like everyone else has their shit together. Chances are they are just as strung out.

It’s said a lot but it gets much much easier. Xxx

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GreenTulips · 29/10/2018 22:32

We all had doubts about having a baby.

You are tired and can't think straight. People will tell you their child sleeps through and their parent does all the night feeds and their child can count to 40 at 5 months old and yet none of it really matters! Most of us produce normal well rounded kids!

There's a reason first birthdays are to be celebrated and it's isn't for the child! It's a well done we made it!!!

If your child sleeps on you, then sit and hang the housework! You don't have long to do this as they soon sleep independently and you'll be back at work

Sit and don't feel guilty

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GreenTulips · 29/10/2018 22:34

Oh and the formula thing

All three were bottle fed - all of them doing exceptionally well in school - so it's not always breastfed babies who are the brightest. (One has been approached to go to Oxford)

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whyhaveidonethis · 29/10/2018 22:38

I had thrush in my boob and in DS3 mouth. The antifungal drops did bugger all so I bought (after much googling) fluclonazole over the counter and used that. Some gets through breast milk so it also treats the baby but less gets through than the recommended dose that they can give babies. For me it saved my sanity. They also thought DS3 had silent reflux but infacol finally started working about a week later.

Hugs.

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Mississippilessly · 30/10/2018 07:38

Morning everyone. Thank you for your kind words.
DS has woken up and fed and of course gone straight back to sleep. I cannot bring myself to wake him with meds.
I felt v low when DH left for work even though we are arguing a lot. It is just all on me - DH cant even seem to settle him at the moment so I dont ever seem to have any baby free time.

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