School rules and nuts

[Bagsalot]

My daughter is 11 yesterday was her birthday. She took an asda tray bake to school with her. She wasn't allowed to share it as apparently some where on the box it says may contain nuts. This has never been an issue before. Today an email came out stating no nuts or seeds allowed in school including lunchboxes. My daughter's in year 6 has been at the school since nursery age 2, this has never been mentioned. I've asked to see the risk assessment. I feel it's an unreasonable policy but possibly I'm being unreasonable

[MovingtoLondonAgain]

As the mother of an 11-year old girl who is severely allergic to nuts,

I am really impressed with your school and have to say you are being quite selfish.

Nuts are life threatening.

[Iaimtomisbehave1]

@smallchanceofrain

That makes me feel so thankful my kids don't have allergies. The panic in their eyes sentence... It's sounds awful. At that age they are old enough to know it could mean death....I can't even imagine how parents must feel when their child is going through that.

It always makes me think of that man who died in prison. He was caught with weed (shortly before it was legalised) and kept in for one night. He explained his allergy when taken it. The CCTV of him at breakfast shows him asking and asking if the oatmeal is safe to eat and the guards where just sucks to him. He ate it, felt unwell and asked for help. They confined him to his cell and didn't get help, even kept telling him to be quiet when he shouted for help. When someone bothered to look in his little window he was dead. His mother said the worst part for was that there would have come a point where he knew he wasn't going to get help in time and he was going to die... And he'd have just been locked in there alone knowing he could save himself if he'd been allowed to keep his medicine, but he was going to die instead. All for a joint of marijuana.

People not taking allergies seriously makes my mind boggle.

[HeckyPeck]

Where do you draw the line though? If you have a student who is allergic to dairy do you ban that too?

I think dairy is different to nuts as it doesn’t have the same risk of airborne anaphylaxis.

[agnurse]

Heckypeck

It's not about wanting kids to not die. It's about wanting kids to take responsibility for their own health.

By secondary school, children are usually at least 11 or 12 years old. That's old enough to be able to read labels and to know for yourself whether or not something is safe to eat. It's also old enough to let people know that you have a food allergy and that if they open a food that you're allergic to you will have to leave the room. End of.

[ladydickisathingapparently]

Dermymc it’s simple - you do both. My son is never, ever complacent about his allergies. He takes full responsibility for checking packaging and asking questions. He’s 10. He’s been doing this for years and he knows the drill. Asking other people to avoid bringing in products that they know contain nuts doesn’t make him sit back and say “oh I’m fine then.”

It’s about minimising a risk that CAN be easily minimised. You do what you can. The stuff that’s outside your control, well you just hope for the best.

[Notso]

As the parent of a child with a peanut allergy I'm surprised they didn't just slice it up and send it home.
I've had to ask for my son not to bring home any cakes or sweets that get sent in for birthdays.
The schools policy is that they just dish the stuff out at home time and it's up to parents to check if it's ok for the child to eat. Except often it's impossible to make that judgement as there's no access to the packaging.

[BettyCrook]

@Iaimtomisbehave1 I have heard of uncommon allergies like yours and I was wondering if they aren't as serious because it only seems to me like the nuts allergy and shelfish that is more widely banned. Your friend was insensitive to say that. Some people pretend to be allergic when they just dislike something and I guess that doesn't help people like you with a genuine, rare n allergy.

lady I agree it's no hardship and I say that as a parent to a child whose diet features nuts heavily. It's just not worth the risk! I guess even as adults they must be wary not to get drunk and eat something by mistake! I wish there was a cure for allergies already. It must be very difficult having no break from it always looking out.

[ladydickisathingapparently]

One of the symptoms of anaphylaxis is an impending sense of doom as your blood pressure drops and your heart races. My son looked at me a couple of minutes in and said very calmly Mummy I’m going to die. He very nearly did. What a terrible, terrible way to die *Iaimtomisbehave1”.

[Rhiannon13]

OP, please tell me you're not serious? If you are, you're coming across as very selfish. I feel embarrassed on your behalf.

[ladydickisathingapparently]

Sorry Iaimtomisbehave1 ....bolding error....

[HeckyPeck]

It's not about wanting kids to not die. It's about wanting kids to take responsibility for their own health.

By secondary school, children are usually at least 11 or 12 years old. That's old enough to be able to read labels and to know for yourself whether or not something is safe to eat. It's also old enough to let people know that you have a food allergy and that if they open a food that you're allergic to you will have to leave the room. End of.

How can you trust 11 year olds not to open foods that might kill other kids in front of them, when you get grown adults who open peanuts on airplanes despite being told not to?

Surely kids can go a few hours without eating nuts when IT MIGHT KILL A CHILD!

Wanting to eat peanuts is less important than wanting not to die. Simples.

[Bagsalot]

Ok I'm prepared to be told I'm unreasonable. I'd still like to see the risk assessment though. I don't think that's unreasonable.

[BabbleBubble]

Nut bans are ridiculous
It often gives a false sense of security. Some people will ignore you can never guarantee anything like that in a school
Seems to be a common misconception that but allergies are the most severe-anaphylaxis is anaphylaxis regardless of what causes it
My dc school is a ‘nut free zone’ yet there are children with severe allergies to egg, kiwi and dairy yet no special adjustments for them it’s very odd

[Salmonpinkcords]

It makes me so sad to read threads like this, even though the vast majority of posters agree with a no nut ban, there are still some who think it’s over the top, the allergy sufferer should be more responsible, etc etc.
Everyday I send my child to school and fear a phone call telling me there’s been a reaction and the epi pens haven’t worked. One person deciding a no nut ban is ridiculous and ignoring could kill my previous child. It terrifies me.
My child is 5 years old they check everything but rely on others. I’m sorry it’s such an inconvenience.

[Mummymummums]

Why on earth do you want to see the risk assessment??? What do you want it to say?

[Iaimtomisbehave1]

@ladydickisathingapparently

There just something about it being a parent watching their child that makes it all so much worse. At least I was grown up and my mum didn't need to watch. I'm so sorry you both had to go through that.

Being nut free really isn't a sacrifice when you think about the reality of a child or teacher suffering like that.

[AiryFairyUnicornRainbow]

YABVU.

OP, a nut allergy can be fatal, sorry that ruined your DD birthday, but could well have saved a life

Not really that big a deal

Explain the situation to your child.

[agnurse]

BettyCrook

While there isn't really a "cure" for allergies some people do have success with desensitization therapy. The idea is that you are routinely exposed to increasing amounts of whatever you're allergic to, starting with an extremely small dose and done in a controlled, monitored environment.

This does not work for everyone and it does not always completely "cure" the allergy. Some people, for example, start out not being able to be in the same room with nuts or peanuts. With desensitization therapy they may never get to a point where they could actually eat peanuts or nuts without issue, but they may be able to be in the same room as long as they don't touch the food or as long as they don't eat it.

In fact, in my area, desensitization for bee and wasp venom is considered so life-saving that if you decline treatment you actually have to sign a waiver. I'm not making this up. I was told this a number of years ago by the head of the pediatric allergy program at the children's hospital.

[BabbleBubble]

My son reacts to airborne egg his allergy is that severe

[Iaimtomisbehave1]

@BabbleBubble

Because egg, kiwi and dairy don't powder up and become aurbourne as readily as nuts.

[Salmonpinkcords]

Precious child - not previous!
All my child is allergic to more than just nuts but we have found other allergens easier to avoid (ie dairy)

[HeckyPeck]

My dc school is a ‘nut free zone’ yet there are children with severe allergies to egg, kiwi and dairy yet no special adjustments for them it’s very odd

I’d guess it’s to do with the potential for airborne allergens from nuts?

[agnurse]

HeckyPeck

I would expect that by that age a child would KNOW what he or she is allergic to and would be able to say to someone, "Listen, if you open that in here I will have to leave the room." And then leave the room if necessary.

Do you expect that every restaurant and public building or facility will go nut-free for adults who have allergies? Is it reasonable to state that nobody can ever bring a peanut butter sandwich to work because one person in the building MIGHT be allergic to it?

You find reasonable work-arounds. For example, I had a colleague who had a severe allergy to fish. If we had a work function we were asked not to bring anything with fish in it. We currently have someone in my building who has a severe allergy to mushrooms, so we have one microwave in the building where we are asked not to heat anything with mushrooms in it.

They don't ban the foods from the whole building. Instead they take reasonable precautions and rely on adults to police themselves.

[Bagsalot]

It wasn't that big a deal and it didn't ruin her birthday. She's 11 she understood why. I have no intention of sending anything in again that may contain nuts.

[BlatheringWuther]

My local school has just gone nut free. I have to admit I find it annoying, as we're vegetarian and nuts are a major source of protein for us. I can step up their consumption outside school, but as pp have said, if people are life-threateningly allergic should the entire country ban all handling and production of nuts? Sesame snacks haven't been banned yet, although I'm wondering about checking since they're also an allergen. I often give them to my two for lunches as handily packaged and tasty protein, vitamin and mineral boosters.