to think if you ask for melon with a bit of yoghurt for breakfast
happystrummer · 05/10/2018 09:42
If you ask for melon with a bit of yoghurt for breakfast AIBU to expect not to get a full cereal bowl of yoghurt with 4 pieces of melon, a banana and a dollop of blackcurrant jam on top without being told I;m ungrateful.
BogstandardBelle · 05/10/2018 10:12
I’m with you OP. Why should you be grateful for something that you didn’t want and didn’t ask for? It’s like people buying clothes and ornaments as gifts (their taste, their style, their budget - not mine).
I’m grateful for lots of things in life. Random food / clothes / advice / stuff from other people, not so much. I don’t give any of the above as gifts without checking with the receiver first, or being very very sure that it’s what they want / like / need.
I’m always polite btw.
Dontalkoverme · 05/10/2018 10:12
I don’t think you need to be grateful for a poor attempt at what you asked for. I wonder if some of these posters would be happy if they asked for a cup of tea (usually black) and their partner decided to get creative with milk and sugar? Should they be grateful for the attempt?
TheOrigFV45 · 05/10/2018 10:22
I guess it depends on how the whole thing panned out.
Did he ask you what you wanted or did you just ask?
Does he know how you like your yog/melon?
Does he know it's important to you that you are just given what you asked for, because that's what you want, and don't want surprises?
Was it done with all good intentions or was he trying to make a point, or be funny?
MargoLovebutter · 05/10/2018 10:23
I had a partner who liked to "treat me" with breakfast in bed but it was always so bloody awful it was never a treat and I came to dread it, as the acting required to show appreciation was more than I could manage early in the morning! The biggest crime was LUKEWARM tea!!!!!!
Poppins2016 · 05/10/2018 10:37
I'm going against the grain here: YADNBU.
Why were you given the option of stating what you wanted, when you weren't going to be listened to?!
My DH likes giving 'food upgrades'. Unfortunately, although he has the best of intentions ('I thought you'd like it') I tend to inadvertently upset him by not really showing enough appreciation. He now understands that if I say I'd like X, that means X, not X + Y, or Z.
I had to explain the following to DH in order to help him understand:
Of course, it's lovely to have someone do something for you and the principle of the action is always very much appreciated. However the shine is taken off when you ask for X and then get Y (because it implies that the other person either didn't listen, or thinks that they know what you want better than you do). I appreciate an action much more when my choices/preferences have been listened to.
DH has now taken this on board and I always show my appreciation for my food being 'just what I asked for'! He, in turn, is much happier because I give a very positive reaction.
I know some people (DH, for example) just don't care that much about how food is served up to them. However I live very 'in the moment' and only 'fancy eating what I fancy' (or what I'm expecting!) at that time. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect that my preferences are listened to, especially in a home situation. Eating out or with friends is sometimes a different matter - there have been times when I've just had to 'get over it and get on with it'!
Perhaps I sound a little spoilt, however I do expect/ensure that it works both ways. I try my best to get things just right for DH when I'm cooking for him, make his toast 'just so' and ask before I try out modifications to recipes.
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