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Parents and new partner

5 replies

Pigeonpies · 03/10/2018 09:44

This isn't a massive issue, but something that's been bugging me for a few months and I'm seeking some advice please smile

I'm divorced with a child and have been with my new partner for 2 years now. We don't live together, he has a child also.

My parents have met him a few times, been out for dinner, over their house etc... but here's the thing that bugs me. My parents don't make any effort when it comes to birthdays or Xmas. They didn't get him a birthday card ( wasn't expecting a present) or Xmas card, or his child a card, even though I dropped quite a few hints about it being their birthday soon.

When I was married they used to pay attention to stuff like this and there would be presents etc... I guess I feel like, they haven't accepted him? My partner and I live in different cities and I do spend my free weekends there ( most of the time) and my mum has mentioned this a few times, I suspect she feels like I spend all my time there (which I don't)

His parents are the complete opposite, bought my child birthday, Xmas and even Easter gifts, and bits for my birthday.

I guess I feel a bit embarrassed that he might be feeling unaccepted.

I don't know how to approach the subject, if at all with my family without offending anyone?

We're not at all materialist, so this has nothing to do with that, it would just be nice to know that they've considered him and his child, as they are both a big part of my life.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 03/10/2018 09:49

I don't suppose he's even noticed! Maybe your dp's think that as you don't live together, and not even close, this is just a temporary romance and unlikely to carry on for very long. If and when you live together, they may change in their approach but realistically, a lot of people don't give cards or presents to adults anyway.

sockunicorn · 03/10/2018 10:02

have you shown your mum the cards/gifts they buy you? maybe accidentally showing her would make her realise its a thing and kick her into action.

Pigeonpies · 03/10/2018 10:11

Thanks for replying.

Yes, when it's been mine or child's birthday, I've left the cards up and my mum even read them and said "Aw that's nice" .... but obviously she didn't want reciprocate. He got my parents a card when it was their birthdays and as a rule, my mum is very 'hot' on things like this, we are usually a very 'giving' family with cards and nice sentiments. Maybe I'm overthinking it!

We won't be living together for a long long time but ( I thought) my parents understood their importance in my life.

OP posts:
Snappedandfarted2018 · 03/10/2018 10:19

You live in different towns op do they even see much of your dp child? To them he’s just a bf at the moment and you’re relationship hasn’t progressed further beyond that at this stage. People do things differently and that’s ok I don’t think my parents bought my bfs birthday gifts or a present unless we were living together.

woolduvet · 03/10/2018 10:20

You know them best but I would imagine as you're not living together yet in their eyes your not official yet??
I'd have a frank discussion with them.

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