AIBU to think this was badly handled??

[PrudenceDear]

My ds, yr5, has been having a few issues with a couple of boys in his class since they returned to school. I’ve spoken to him about this but it seems to been ongoing so I thought I’d bring it up with his teacher today.

I wrote a short note, just outlining what ds had said to me and asked her to keep an eye on them.

I wasn’t sure I’d be able to catch her, hence the note, but managed a brief conversation just outlining the issues this morning.

She rolled her eyes and told me several children were having issues with one of the boys.

Ds told me this evening that she sat all 3 boys down and read my note out to them and wanted their versions of it. The note wasn’t intended for this purpose. Surely it shouldn’t have been used in this way?

YANBU that doesn't sound ideal. What did the note actually say?

That is not on!! How did your DS feel about that? I imagine he’s going to get some pushback about his mum writing a note and sending it in.

You shouldn’t have to write on each note “private, for teacher’s eyes only, not to be read out”.

The note just said ds having few issues with boys x & y, outlined a couple of things ie name calling, gave time frame and asked her to keep an eye on it and try to stop it.

I was expecting the situation to be monitored and then addressed if necessary.

I'd be taking that higher tbh. Beyond unprofessional behaviour on her part. That shouldn't have happened and I can't think of a single scenario that would deem that as appropriate.

It needs taking to the Head in the morning.

I also feel awkward that the other boys may go home and say I’d written in when it was only because I didn’t know whether I’d actually get to see the teacher.

Surely any communication I have with the school should be covered by some form of data protection/ gdpr?

I think it’s only contact details thy are governed by gdp r but I could be wrong.
Go to the head, the teacher is stepping on really dodgy ground doing that. Very unprofessional.

Unfortunately this teacher was very incompetent when she taught ds1 previously but I wiped the slate to try and give her a fair chance.

I would be very disappointed in that cop out lazy approach to the issue. She knows she has a problem there so should deal with it. Your note was used without your permission. I would be asking her why she thought that was appropriate and why did she not ask your permission first.

What the teacher did was awful, and she shouldn't have rolled her eyes at you. YY go to the head as this was not dealt with appropriately.

I don't think it's technically covered by confidentiality but common sense would state that you didn't expect the note to be read aloud to the class. Given what was in it it does sound a bizarre thing for the teacher to have done, I trust neither of my DC's teachers would have done anything like that.

Thanks everyone, I was shocked when ds said she read it out to them. I really only wanted her to watch and assess and take reasonable action if necessary.

Wow, very incompetent

I do agree though that was a very poor choice of action unless the note was read out in a way which anonymised the writer and the subject. I don’t know why people immediately say go to the head, go and speak to her directly first. Then if you don’t get a reasonable response you can go to her line manager.

Why people on mumsnet won’t address the teacher first I don’t know. If a waiter gave you the wrong dish you wouldn’t immediately start calling for a manager, you’d give them a chance to sort it out first. Apparently teachers don’t deserve the same courtesy.

He eye rolling to be honest was quite tame for her! So many examples of unprofessional behaviour.

That's terrible.

WTH?
That teacher is 100% wrong. I'd be going to see the head teacher first thing in the morning and putting in an official complaint.

The "teacher" as fallen down on at least three points:

• rolling her eyes at you;
• reading the note out to the culprits (WTAF??);
• clearly not dealing with the other boy/s despite knowing they/ he's causing trouble.

Why do you think your note would be covered under GDPR?

But that aside.

I agree it is strange that the teacher chose to read out a note from a parent. My communication with her in future would be verbal.