AIBU to ask my housemate keep her dog in her room

[Whateverletmepost]

My housemate has just moved into a shared house of four, with her two year old untrained dog. The dog, in two days, has raided all the bins in the house, stolen a housemates dinner (not left out, jumped up on him and snatched it) ripped open and eaten half of my dogs bag of dry food, bullied my dog constantly, and bitten me twice. I have tried to be patient but after being bitten on the hand today, and almost bitten on the face, all because I was holding a stick away from him that my dog had brought to me, I have had enough. My other house mate has also expressed they share my feelings and asked me to speak to her. She shows no control over the dog, or willingness to discipline him. I can't see any other way forward but to insist that he is directly supervised by her, at all times, or kept in her room with the door shut. This seems dramatic but I don't know what else to do. It is not our job to train the dog, and I don't think its fair on myself or my housemates to have to always keep our doors shut, our trash in our cupboards etc. The dog has zero respect or fear, and will do what it wants regardless of being yelled at, I have had to physically drag it out of my room while it was bullying my dog by its scruff, while it tried to bite me.

[DarlingNikita]

I don't think the landlady should be your last resort. Tell her now. Make clear that you've been bitten and show her the evidence. Tell her every detail of its behaviour and that the housemate has no control over the dog and doesn't discipline him.

No way should any of you have to put up with this shit.

[Saffy60]

So sorry Whatever! Didn't mean to ruin your health!!! I actually put....I am a landlord and perhaps speak to the landlord...but I think like me...when you get a bit wound up words can get a bit confused. I really hope you get this sorted it is a horrible situation for you!

[BoldComicSans]

A dog doesn’t seem a good thing in a house share. It would be cruel to keel the dog locked in a bedroom, but would also be unfair on the other tenants to have it running around the house.
I think the only way to resolve this is to complain to the landlady and hope she then acts on this.

[Whateverletmepost]

So an update on the situation. She arrived home last night, and seemed to be giving me the silent treatment, which made things even more awkward. I said (as gently as possible) that we needed to have a chat later, she defensively asked what for, and I said about her dog, and maybe we could go for a coffee later? She became very defensive, and basically accused me of treating her dog badly because I threw a stick that my dog had brought me, for my dog, while I thought her dog was half a mile back on the trail with her, and did not throw a separate stick for her dog, that I do not own, and did not realise was there. She seemed incensed, and I've started to realised that I am not dealing with a rational person. We had, and let me make this clear, already had a conversation prior to this, where we agreed not to play fetch when the two dogs were together, in an attempt to prevent her dog bullying mine. I stated her dog had bitten me twice, to which she sneered, and said he doesn't bite, he snaps and that if he had bitten me, it was my fault. I also said the other housemate was equally as unhappy with her animal's behaviour, and she said "I don't give a shit about him, he doesn't live here" (he is a friend, who helped us out by staying over the summer and paying a portion of rent).
I said I had really hoped that we could talk about this and find a way forward, and that I had written out a long and really nice text to that effect, but thought it more acceptable to talk to her and see if we could look for training classes together. But that it seemed that would not be possible, and should I speak to the landlady? She, spit flying from her mouth, told me to "stay the fuck away from my dog"
I am bemused.. and was left shaking from the ordeal, and have been literally necking my vape to calm my nerves since. I'm not sure if she really believes what she's saying, or if she has had these problems before, which is way she is so defensive.
I got the landlady to call me, and explained I wasn't getting anywhere with her, and that I felt the dog was dangerous, as did the other person staying here. She is going to speak to her husband and call me back. I don't think I've done anything wrong, but I feel like everything is my fault.

[YeTalkShiteHen]

Wow OP she is awful!! Threats and aggression? It’s not hard to see why her dog is out of control if that’s her personality!

I hope the landlord backs you, it really isn’t your fault at all.

[hannnnnnnxo]

Nasty twat. Your landlords need to nip this in the bud, now.

[Whateverletmepost]

YeTalkShiteHen I couldn't believe it either, like I said I can't help wondering if she's had complaints like this before, and that's why she is so defensive. But it isn't an excuse. I would genuinely have tried to help her sort the situation out. Now I just want her gone.

I hope so too. I hope I'm not seen as the trouble maker..

[Whateverletmepost]

hannnnnnnxo I hope she does, she seemed reluctant to get involved on the phone.. until I said that technically I could go to the police and report the girl's dog, and I didn't want to have to say that.

[YeTalkShiteHen]

I hope so too. I hope I'm not seen as the trouble maker.

I do too, since asking for an aggressive dog which has already bitten to not be in your home along with their equally aggressive owner is not only reasonable it’s a must!

[AvocadosBeforeMortgages]

Blimey, she sounds charming. Clearly things are not going to get any better - not because the dog is awful (it would probably be lovely with more training and exercise) but because the owner will do nothing to improve the current situation.

Hopefully the LL will come back with a good solution. However, it's likely that their hands are fairly tied from a legal point of view, and if she won't go voluntarily, the courts will be a long process (think several months, at best), she will be awful in the meantime, and it may not be possible to get her out at all until the fixed term of her tenancy has ended.

Assuming you're in England, have a look at this england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/eviction/eviction_of_assured_shorthold_tenants The LL would have to go down the Section 8 route, but it's not clear to me that the tenant has broken any of the terms of her tenancy agreement ("be nice" is unlikely to be on there) so it may be impossible to evict.

Pending what the LL comes back with, I would start looking for somewhere else to live because, realistically, this is unlikely to get better in an acceptable timescale. I know it's a pain in the arse, especially with a dog, but... pragmatism. Does the LL have any other properties you could move into?

@BoldComicSans there's nothing inherently wrong in having a dog in a houseshare - but it needs to be suitably well trained (or with an owner who is putting the effort in), the other housemates need to have chosen to live with a dog, and one person needs to take responsibility for its care, because what's everyone's responsibility is no one's responsibility. I actually chose a houseshare because it came with a dog (big bonus feature for me). Didn't anticipate coming to own the dog, but that's a story for another thread! I'm still in houseshares to this day and have always picked housemates that consider my dog a bonus.

@Saffy60 Dog training methods that involve becoming the "alpha dog" or "pack leader" are about 20 years out of date, and are often actively harmful. Cesar Millan is considered something of a pariah in most of the dog training world, though there are still some people peddling his theories. Positive reinforcement has been shown to be far more effective as a training method.

[AvocadosBeforeMortgages]

PS I would think very, very carefully before reporting the dog to the police. It could end up in a situation where the dog is seized, put in kennels for months with near zero human contact, and eventually put down.

I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy - or their dog. This isn't a dog that deserves to be killed (though it does deserve a better owner), and nor is it a danger to the general public. While the dog is inconvenient and undertrained, I don't think this is at a level where you want to get the police involved.

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

Jesus wept. She needs to leave asap. She sounds horrendous and the dog is out of control. It's a tragedy waiting to happen OP. It will bite you properly.

Do what's right for you. Good luck.

[PurpleTrilby]

She sounds like a total nightmare. She's taken on a rescue dog, not kept it with her consistently cos she's off to uni, so not in any position to care for a dog properly. Now she's got aggressive and it blaming you. I think even without a dog, she would be impossible to live with. I'd be looking to move. Talk to the landlady about your contract and leaving it earlier. That alone may get things moving regarding the other girl and 'her' dog. If I were the landlady I'd be horrified to find tenants jumping ship because of one bad one. As my (absolutely wonderful) landlord said when I moved there, I want to keep good tenants happy.

[Whateverletmepost]

YeTalkShiteHen thank you for the support, its helping me stay calm. My housemate has just spoken with me about it and reiterated that the dog's behaviour is completely unacceptable, and that he feels when the new tenants move in, they will find it equally unbearable. There is also the consideration of who would be responsible when (and I feel it is 'when') the dog raids something he shouldn't from the trash or someone's food, and is ill. I haven't had any of the food I've had stolen replaced, and currently its half a 10kg bag of kibble, which is about £10. Not much but I am student...

[Whateverletmepost]

AvocadosBeforeMortgages thanks, I agree with all that, but am remaining positive that the landlady will be on my side and ask her to leave, or at least rehome the dog. I don't think my dog is an angel, but I have had zero tolerance of any behaviours that would annoy other people living with us. He actually lived in student halls for 8 months and was never caught.. which I think demonstrates how quiet and 'unannoying' he is. (Not that I advocate this - it was an exceptional circumstance, and it was that or have him rehomed). I definitely think with the right training her dog would be fine, but she seems unwilling to even discuss it or admit there are any problems. She has actually kept him with her since this morning, even taking him to the bathroom when she showered. But I think this might be passive aggressive and related to the fact that she said she wants me to stay away from him, rather than because she's fixing things.

I absolutely would not want to go to the police. I have to say I only said it as a last resort to make sure my landlady took what I had said seriously. I agree its unnecessary and I don't wish the dog anything bad. I do think he needs rehoming though.

Thanks for information and support, I appreciate it.

[YeTalkShiteHen]

Whateverletmepost I’m glad we’re helping

It’s also good that your other housemate feels the same, it’s not so easy to play the victim when there is more than one person saying the same thing!

£10 is a lot, especially when you’re owed it! It’s the principle more than anything tbh.

[serbska]

She needs to move out. That situation is crazy.

[Saffy60]

AvocadosBeforeMortgages ... I have no idea what methods Cesar Milan uses as I have never followed him. But if any dog thinks it is your boss you are wasting your time. A dog has to respect its owner as being in command. My training methods have always been the positive reinforcement variety BUT I am still Alpha with my dogs. With a large rescue male GSD and 2 collies, I have to be.

[Saffy60]

The above should read I am still the Alpha....

[DarlingNikita]

Well, she clearly isn't rational, you're right. 'spit flying from her mouth'

I hope the landlady takes it seriously but I think you should not hesitate to call the police if she will not or cannot intervene. Good luck.

[AvocadosBeforeMortgages]

@Whatever 8 months in student halls is impressive! One of my neighbours who uses the same communal garden thought I was a new arrival because he'd never seen my dog out in the garden before. I just don't let him run around out there unsupervised and we go to the park a lot. Even closer neighbours have commented that you'd never know he was here if you didn't see him.

At least your flatmate may reach some sort of uneasy (awkward) mid-point where she keeps the dog out of your way.

On the side topic of dog food and costs, //www.allaboutdogfood.co.uk is a really good way of finding nutritious and sensibly priced dog food. They work out costs on a per day basis as better quality dog foods tend to be more nutrient packed and so the dog requires fewer grams per day. Via that website I found a German cold pressed brand called Markus Muhle which is cheap as chips and much better quality than what DDog came to me on. However, I feel the most moneysaving option in the interim is to lock your own dog's food away! Do you know if the housemate has pet insurance? I really can't see, however, that you could be held liable if the dog stole something and became ill - if your dog ran up to a picnic and stole a chocolate cake, you couldn't hold the picnickers liable for making your dog ill.

Hopefully the LL will be able to get shot of the new housemate - fingers crossed! TBH I wouldn't want her to continue staying there with or without the dog - she's going to be absolutely vile to you (and possibly your dog) if she has to rehome her dog because of this.

@Saffy60 I don't wish to derail the OP's thread, but in a nutshell Cesar Millan is someone who popularised the theory that dogs are trying to be 'dominant' over humans and that training and behavioural problems can be solved by the human becoming the 'alpha dog' of the 'pack'. I absolutely offer my dog guidance and leadership; I do not, however, believe that he is trying to become my leader or that the issues he came to me with were caused by that.

The theory was based on studies of captive wolf populations - but they were an unnatural pack formation (not family) which causes fights that don't happen in the wild, and dogs aren't wolves (there have been many years of evolution). The original researchers have since withdrawn their research - but the idea lives on in the popular mind.

There's lots of really interesting stuff to be read; this isn't a bad article www.whole-dog-journal.com/issues/14_12/features/Alpha-Dogs_20416-1.html

[AvocadosBeforeMortgages]

@Whatever how did you get on with the landlord?