To wonder to what extent you impose your views on your kids...if at all?

[malificent7]

Or perhaps I should rephrase this as 'to what extent do your kids share your views?

Some people's quite young children are already certain they support mum and dad's political party of choice. I heard someone's under 10 say they weren't a royalist as mum wasn't.
The same goes for football teams... Support for a club often runs in families.

Also vegetarians....do your kids also support vegetarianism or make up their own minds?

On the flip side I know a staunch vegan who is 8 whereas mum and dad are not.

As much as i try to influence dd such as supporting Liverpool or a political party she is determined to do the opposite or find her own way...this is fine with me as I admire her strength of character although I definately challenged any anti gay sentiment.

Religion is another one.

I'm not wanting to start a bitch fight here but to what extent do we or should we influence our kid's views?

[Katedotness1963]

I don't see my kids as mouthpieces for my beliefs/views. I want them to figure out their own minds.

[Sunnymeg]

I think the default religious position is agnostic (don't know) rather than atheist. DH was a lay preacher and very involved in our church until he had a stroke 3 years ago, so by extension DS attended a lot of church services and events. We don't go as often as we did as DH finds getting there etc very tiring. We leave it up to DS whether he wants to come. More often than not, he doesn't.

[WyfOfBathe]

DH and I are both Christian and take the children to church on Sundays. DD1 (6) says she loves Jesus, but obviously she doesn't have a very in depth understanding of religion or arguments for/against there being a god. DD2 is only 1 so obviously doesn't have an opinion yet! If DC decided to become atheists, that would be their choice but I think they would still have to come to church until they were old enough to be left at home on their own.

I am vegetarian, DH isn't. We mainly eat vegetarian food at home, but occasionally DH and DD1 eat meat if we're eating out.

I've never spoken about party politics with DC. DD1 does know about broader political issues, eg donating to the food bank, our church's homeless outreach, we have gay friends who are married and DH is an EU migrant so we've spoken about the EU and immigration. I suppose I do want DC to share my values, but I would rather they came to their own conclusions than just blindly accepted my word as they get older.

[pallisers]

Mine are age 16 and up. For religion, we reared them as catholic although really more of a cultural thing and a link to our home. I doubt any of them really believe but they will come to mass on xmas day or easter or anniversaries if we ask them.

They are highly influenced by my feminist viewpoint and by our views on social responsibility. Politically I'd be shocked if any of them became Republican or conservative. DS voted for Bernie Sanders in the primaries and we voted for Clinton. In retrospect, he may have been right ...

My daughters are very supportive of the british royal family from years of enjoying Hello magazine.

[Treats]

I’m very political and have stood in elections locally - the children have cheered me on and wanted Mummy to win. I would be surprised if that experience didn’t have an influence on their political views later in life, but I’m not intentionally trying to influence them. I’m following my own path (which is a very different politics from my parents) and hope that they will do the same.

They’ve also both been baptised as Catholics and regularly come to church with me. I guess that’s a bit different because I intentionally made them Catholic. But if they choose not to come with me one day, that will be fine.

I don’t think you can help influencing your children - they’re going to see you living your life according to the choices you’ve made. As long as they’re free to make a different choice, then that’s fine. I don’t think we should pretend to be neutral about everything for fear of undue influence - be honest about your choices and explain why you made them.

[Eolian]

We don't tell our dc what to think, but we don't hide our views either. We do say "Well some people believe X but I believe Y). My dc (10 and nearly 13) are staunch atheists and republicans. That could change as they get older. They are perfectly capable of disagreeing with us on all sorts of things, and they do. But on major issues they tend to agree with us so far. I have no regrets about the fact that our views have formed/influenced theirs. It's inevitable.

[LongWeek]

Interesting discussion.
My DH is an MP so politics features heavily in our house. I'm always trying to be careful to portray all the political parties as being equally valid options for when DCs are old enough to vote.
They know which party he is in obvs, but I don't want them thinking that people who vote for a different party are bad people.

[cariadlet]

I think that every parent tries to influence their children to a certain extent even if it is just teaching them that it's wrong to go round thumping people or calling them rude names (or teaching them that it's ok to do that if those are your own shitty values).

Sometimes parents' views conform to the norm so they don't have to make them explicit. Parents with other views will make them explicit so are more likely to be accused of trying to influence their children.

For example, if you are an omnivore then you will serve meat to your children and are implicitly teaching them that it is ok to kill animals if you like the way that their bodies taste. If you bring up your children as vegetarian or vegan then you will be explaining why you don't give them meat and are then liable to be accused of indoctrinating your children.

My dd's 15 and her views have changed over the years:

I'm an outspoken atheist, she started believing in God as soon as she started school (thanks to assemblies), decided to become Muslim in Year 1 (I think she liked the headscarves) and is now an atheist.

I'm a vegan and brought her up as a vegan from birth. At 7 I told her that she was old enough to decide for herself and she chose to become vegetarian. About 18 months ago she decided (absolutely no prompting from me) to become vegan again and has stuck with it.

I'm very anti-Royal, but she was pro-Royal when she was little thanks to spending a lot of time with her very royalist grandma, but is now against them.

She's also feminist, left of centre and pro Europe (probably largely from me) and is extremely anti any kind of discrimination (like myself, but she's far more clued up than me about the range of ways in which people can self-identify eg I'd never heard of pansexual until she mentioned it).

Generally her main values are the same as mine and her dad's (although I'm probably more outspoken and he tends to be a bit more live-and-let-live than I am).

[Loopytiles]

I actively challenge statements about god, mainly to counter the indoctrination and presentation of religion as fact from (supposedly not a CofE) school. One of my DC is in general quite skeptical, the other soaks up what teachers say.

DH bangs on about recycling!

We don’t tend to discuss politics much, try to stick to explaining in a factual way, for now.

[StellaWouldYouTakeMeHome]

I always try to find a balance in most things but my children know I believe in science over religion and I don’t hide that from them. I disagree with religion in general really and believe it’s the cause of most wars and it’s better to just encourage people to be good and kind

[Loopytiles]

Oh, I also explicitly talk about consent, and that it is unecessary to be kind/polite to people who don’t reciprocate: since nursery DD experienced DC, mainly boys, not respecting boundaries.

[MissWilmottsGhost]

I try not to impose my views, and encourage DD to have her own opinion, partly to try not to have a contrary teen as beyond describes. Doubt it will work, though.

However, DD is currently at an age where she always wants to copy mummy, I cut my hair she wants short hair, I grow my hair she wants long hair

She is torn on the subject of religion, though. The GPs are Christian, I am atheist, and DD is currently describing herself as Christian, and I say that's fine. But if she says "we are Christian, aren't we mummy?", I say no I'm not. DD is boggled by this, she doesn't know who to copy

[ginghambox]

Both kids not religious at all.
One voted labour once ( but not again ) the other votes Tory.
Both support and are season ticket holders of our local football team and hate Liverpool and Man U.

[mirime]

I try not to indoctrinate DS - although he knows I thought George Osbourne is a naughty man, and that I don't like Donald Trump.

He's only five so I've not gone into detail, as far as politics go, when he's asked, I've told him that most people vote for the blue party or the red party and they just have different ideas about the right way to do things.

I've tried to stay completely neutral on religion, but had to tell him the Easter story was made up as it was confusing him about the finality of death - something we had to spend some time talking to him about last year after our cat died - and led to a fair bit of upset.

[FrangipaniBlue]

It would be difficult to impose our views DS because DH and I have opposing (or at least differing!) opinions on religion, politics and even the royals!! (and music, how we're still together after 20yrs is anyone's guess )

Our approach is to tell him our views if he asks with explanations why etc but let him decide for himself.

I have a friend who's DS thinks everything the same as her because it's what she thinks. If you ask him his opinion on anything he says "we" and "don't we mum" and constantly looks to her when responding as though he's making sure he's saying the correct thing. I find it a bad sad if I'm honest.....

[SandyY2K]

I think it's natural in many ways for us to influence views of our kids....without even realising it.

I was however very proud of DD who recently turned 18 and voted for the first time on the 3rd of May.

She asked who I voted for, but did her own research on the parties. She liked the Green party with it's commitment to the environment and even when I said it was a wasted vote ...she said if everyone had that view and didn't vote they'd never get in.

[kitkatsky]

I've always tried to explain to DD how important it is to vote and how you decide who to vote for. I also talk too her about the news. I don't think I try hard to get her to agree with me but she has self declared that Trump is a stupid orange idiot and I just admit that I concur!

[Stompythedinosaur]

With things like religion and vegetarianism we do a lot of discussing "Some people believe that... Mum believes that... Dad believes that...".

We have some things that we insist on like "It our family we share/don't hit etc." but they are quite universal things.

[WyfOfBathe]

If you ask him his opinion on anything he says "we" and "don't we mum" and constantly looks to her when responding as though he's making sure he's saying the correct thing. I find it a bad sad if I'm honest.....

What's more sad is when they don't grow out of it as they get towards being adults. As a teacher, I've heard sixth formers say things like "my dad says the Tories are the best, so that's who I'm going to vote for" or "in my family, we vote remain". I stay out of students' political discussions, but it is hard not to say "your vote is not your dad's vote".

[thecatsthecats]

My mum talked about sending me away to boarding school because my sister believed in God and my atheist views (not really discussed - I just didn't go to church with her) were upsetting her. (sidebar: my sister is now one of those atheists who hates religion virulently, I am more laissez faire).

She also called me a 'monster' for having different views about animal rights protestors, and said (exaggerating, I imagine, but it didn't stop her saying it) that if I didn't agree with their views on the Iraq war they'd kick me out. I was 14, and in fact agreed that the war was immoral, but I also had questions and wanted answers to help me understand.

So, um, no, I don't plan to impose that much on my own kids.

[AnotherRanger]

I'm happy for DS to form his own views, it's part of growing up.
I'm an athiest but DS(7) believes in God which is fine as so did I at that age, I'd take him to church if he wanted but he's not fussed about that but likes to pray.
I'm a left wing Jeremy Corbyn fan which DS has also taken on but I'm certain he'll form his own views when he's a teenager. I wouldn't force a certain view but would encourage critical thinking when it comes to political issues.
I'm vegetarian, DS isn't...it's just food and preferences really.
I'd rather have a free thinking kid than just a carbon copy of myself however one thing is non-negotiable and I very much used my indoctrination skills to enforce....football team!

[Racecardriver]

We have no political allegiance but communism and fascism are evil is a non negotiable. My husband is religious. I am not. Children are being exposed to a range of religions and told to make up their own minds. Husband vegetarian. Me not but not much of a meat eater. Children are being fed meat until they are Old enough to cook their own meals. Oh and safe driving is also being drilled into them early but that is it. We want safe drivers who do no support genocides, the rest is up to them.

[noctu]

@Mousefunky please show me your Corbyn tshirt! I may need to purchase one

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

This is something I’m struggling to navigate with my six year old DS at the moment. I’m atheist and have pretty negative opinions about religion, DP agnostic but his wider family are catholic (non practising). Ds is in a class this year with a significant number of children who’s parents are heavily involved in our local international church, and he is accepting the ‘facts’ he hears from them at face value.

The church has an interesting reputation in the community and has one scandal after another. One pastor left after it was discovered that his holidays were being paid for from church funds, they are known to discourage friendships outside of the church and the leaders houses are maintained and looked after by the congregation who are, largely, young single mums without much education who are brought in on outreach programmes. Frankly I don’t want DS anywhere near it or hearing their views, but neither will I tell him who he can play with.

DP thinks we should leave him to make his own mind up as he gets older but I don’t feel like it is his own mind with this amount of influence from so many of his peers. Sorry for the epic post, this is something that’s been troubling me for a few months.

[marchin1984]

teach the six year old to be critical. How do you know X,Y, Z?