AIBU to want to escape the rat race?

[SunFlower222]

I heave the house at 7am to drop the kids at breakfast club, sit in traffic getting stressed trying to get to my job for 8.30am.
I then sit at a desk battering a keyboard making a fortune for a large company, we're under staffed, over worked, it's stressful.
I leave that desk at 6pm and get home at 7pm, see my kids for an hour before they go to bed.
At the end of the month I get paid an ok salary, there's ppl doing a lot worse in the world but considering the millions I/my team make the company, we're very under paid.

All my experience is in the same line of work and leaving to go to another company wouldn't make things better, it's long hours, commuting to a city centre, being over worked and under paid.

Recently I've just been feeling like there's got to be more to life than this.
I never get to drop my kids off at school or pick them up.
I'm out of the house from 7am-7pm, I get to see my kids for an hour a day.
I could ask to reduce my hours but then I'm pretty much waiving goodbye to any opportunity to work my way up or even just move on to a better department in the company.

I've been considering starting childminding but I'm worried about whether anybody would chose me, what if I don't make enough money etc.

I've also been trying to think of business ideas. I don't have any savings to get me started though.

I'd love to hear stories from ppl who have successfully managed to escape the rat race and any ideas for businesses of jobs I could look in to.

Also if anybody tried and failed then feel free to tell me it's not all its cracked up to be please feel free to tell me not to bother, i'd like to be fully informed.

[SunFlower222]

yes work know that I want to progress, I did recently apply for a more senior role, I wasn't successful as somebody who has been there much longer than I have got it but I got lots of positive feedback after my interview.
Management also seem to have much more flexible hours e.g. "I'm going to go home early and do some work from home later"

[pandarific]

if I was to get a more senior position I think i'd enjoy the job more...It would be better for me to get one of those positions first and then reduce my hours

Ah - in that case, I think you're right. How often do these jobs come up? What's your manager like? How do you think they'd react if you asked for a meeting and then in that mentioned you wanted to progress and if they could look into a growth plan/stretch objectives for you?

[pandarific]

The commute is a killer - can you search for jobs which a) pay around what you earn now and b) which are within a walkable distance/15 min drive from where you live? You never know, something may pop up.

[SunFlower222]

DarkNights - exactly, I could be working until 68, another 34 years in a career I don't enjoy.

My comments about if I reduce my hours I'd be waiving goodbye to any prospect of any promotion aren't so much about money, just if I was to get a more senior position I think i'd enjoy the job more. There's other departments which I think I'd be happier in, other roles I would enjoy more but when another position comes up they're going to want somebody who works full time hours. It would be better for me to get one of those positions first and then reduce my hours.

[wobblywonderwoman]

I am feeling the same really. I have considered childminding but it isn't easy either.
Could you go down to a four day week? You might not miss the money - one day off might make a huge difference to you

[DarkN1ghts]

Surprised you are tired at age 34 you could be working to a state pension of 68 or more. You have children and a house and bills to pay. I would look at it another way and be thankful that you have a permanent job. I would concentrate at looking at what you do outside work and enjoy your time off. I think you need to look at a long term view and how you can save for your non working life.

[Mishappening]

I dropped out when I had 3 children to maintain. I was sick of the bureaucracy surrounding my profession (which was meant to be a caring one, not a financial gatekeeping one) and looked at what I was good at/interested in. Whilst planning my escape I retrained part time in photography and left to work in that field - picture editing, freelancing, taking stills for film shoots etc.etc. My other skill lay in music so I ran singing workshops for people who are disadvantaged; I also secured a 2 year part time post running an arts outreach project for young people.

Yes, my income plummeted, but you will be surprised how you can manage on less than you thought - and your tax goes down!

It is about priorities. I can tell that you are still in the rat race mindset because you are talking about not going part time because it would reduce your chances of promotion - do you really want promotion in this company that is sucking the life blood out of you? - or do you want to spend time with your family and show your children what real values are?

My children have told me that they learned a valuable lesson when I jumped off the wheel - that money is not everything.

My OH also did a similar thing from his very well respected and lucrative profession - in his case it was because of illness. So we all managed on a much smaller income than our qualifications and professions would suggest. But we lived the life we wanted. We are both now retired and my OH is fading away from PD, but we can look back on a life that we did not waste entirely doing things we did not want to do.

The Thatcherite principle that if it does not have monetary value, then it has no value has been deeply absorbed into the national psyche - ditch that and the world is at your feet!

[SunFlower222]

We have a big open plan kitchen/family room which I would probably use for the children and we also have an attached garage which we could in time convert to a play room, maybe keep the lounge as a child free room?
We could store lots in the garage and our garden is huge, could have a large shed or summer house for toy storage or even extra play space.

[ShowMeMySilverLining]

We sound in a very similar situation, so watching with interest. I also would say my skills lie in organisation and planning, with some general design acumen, but I don't know what to with it either!

[thisgirlrides]

Oh op I've just seen subsequent posts about your beautiful home. Do bear in mind that lots of small children & all the gear that goes with childminding does make it hard to keep your home looking quite so nice! Obviously if you have a dedicated playroom big enough for toy storage, playing, arts & crafts etc and a garage or shed for buggies, high chairs, car seats etc them the impact is lessened but without those things there does always seem to be a lot of stuff (& I'm pretty clean & tidy!)

[thisgirlrides]

Hi op you were me about 8 years ago when I was commuting to London doing a 12 hour day, barely seeing the dc & I was earning pretty good money but got made redundant so it forced me to have a rethink and I became a childminder . I bloody love my work/life balance now and have never missed an assembly or school pick-up since. The pay is distinctly average (& we live in quite a high cost area for childcare), paperwork is shit, your house is never your own & of course some days are tougher than others and avoid working with a hangover at all costs but I get to hang out in parks or go to the farm if it's a sunny day, go to playgroups, meet up with friends, cook our meals (& actually eat together!), keep on top of laundry etc whilst babies sleep and there's not many jobs that give,you that freedom and flexibility.

My children are now nearing the end of primary so I'm starting to think about going back into the workplace (we are hoping to move and I don't want to start over again elsewhere and want my house back!) but it's been the best decision ever for our family.

[SunFlower222]

Minitheminx - this is the thing, I know I'm good at making my own home nice, I have a good eye for what goes well where etc but I don't know whether that is enough to make it as an interior designer. An old friend did a degree in interior design and it wasn't what she anticipated, much more architecture involved than just picking some nice curtains and cushions.

[SunFlower222]

I do also like the sound of freelancing.
I did used to temp but the agency took a fee, I liked the fact that I could just say "I can't work that day".
I'm not sure whether there is such a thing as freelancing in my line of work, companies tend to use temping agencies but it's definitely something I can look in to.

[MiniTheMinx]

Dog walking and baby sitting could be very flexible allowing you time to look into a career in interior design. I've helped on projects and for one friend designed and sourced everything for them, but I still don't feel I have enough confidence or experience, this despite having some qualifications in art and design. But if you think it something that you could do, research into it. I've also bought and sold antiques and some stuff you'd really say are decorators pieces. Having a consesion in an antiques emporium where you can showcase your signature style and leave your business card for people to pick up. Really though the best way is having a portfolio of projects and word of mouth. My cousin is an interior designer working on big projects but she is usually working alongside the architects , she has made a brilliant career but she travels a lot. She has also made a lot of money.

[SunFlower222]

I'm 34.
Kids are both at school, MIL is retired and my mum works part time, they both have the kids one day after school at the mo so childcare costs aren't too bad.
I would also quite like another child but I am happy with what I've got, another child isn't essential, I'd sacrifice that if it means being able to build a better life for us all.
It's one reason that childminding appeals to me, it would mean being able to have another baby without me having to put it in a nursery.
Although I do understand it would obviously affect how many other children I could look after.

[Arealhumanbeing]

YANBU. Apart from pay day, the “rat race” is a bloody waste of time. You should definitely leave that job.

It sounds like you have a rough plan so go for it. Maybe draft your resignation letter? That’ll spur you on.

[JeanSeberg]

I stepped off the treadmill a year ago (Director of Ooerations) thinking I would be go back after a year out i.e. about now. I just can't face it though and am seriously considering sticking with temping in much lower-paid admin roles which I've been doing for the last few months. Never been happier. I'd go with Fosterdog's suggestion of a financial audit including savings and pensions to project what the future might look like.

[Florence16]

Do you get good holiday entitlement and pension?

I work in the public sector. No kids yet, but I will probably always have to work full time if we had them, we earn an OK amount but have a chunky enough mortgage and obviously childcare costs a bomb. I really like the public sector. One of or senior managers has just come in from a private company and when I asked what made her decide public sector, she said than when her children ask her what she does, she doesn’t want to say ‘make loads of money for the partners’, she wants to say she does something more worthwhile, and working in the public sector fits the bill.

People in public sector often moan but the pension and holiday are good, progression can usually be found, and lots of people find it sits well with them on a values level even if it’s not a particular interest that occupies their daily work.

[Fosterdog123]

How old are you btw?

[Fosterdog123]

It sounds soul destroying to me. Get off the wheel for sure. I did and I'd never go back. You need a full audit of finances though to work out if it's possible. Get a part time job if you're able and get a bit of your life back.

[SunFlower222]

Basecamp- yes we have moved but our monthly outgoings have actually come down. We were previously renting, our mortgage is less than our rent used to be, we've moved to a different borough where council tax is lower and our new house is more energy efficient so our bills have come down.
We've got a fixed mortgage for 5 years so I actually think that if I was going to make a change now is a great time because we know what our bills will be for the next 5 years, after this our mortgage will probably go up and it would be more difficult.

[Whatslovegottodo]

If you like children and animals maybe a baby sitting/ pet walking business would suit more than a childminder? Would give you more freedom too and not have to go through ofstead and converting your own home. Most parents would want a basic childcare qualification though. Also first aid and DBS check are important to get sorted early on if this path interests you.

[Basecamp21]

Sadly it seems you have picked the wrong time to be feeling this way if you have just bought a new house- I'm making assumptions of course but that after moving is normally a time when financial commitments are at their highest - not a criticism just a fact.

If you want to go in this direction and many people manage it very successfully you need to go through a process of minimising your outgoings. Pay off any debt - sell things you don't need and get used to a more frugal style of living. Then when you know the minimum you need to live on you can work out how much you need to earn to get by/have a good balance/live comfortably.

Then you will be in a position to start a business or just give up your job and see what happens.

I'm a 52 year old single person who has bought a house, raised a family, travelled extensively and only worked full time fir 10 years in my whole life and apart from a couple of years when my children were babies have never claimed benefits. I have and currently still only work part time and have always organised my life and finances to be able to afford to live like this.

But it will need careful analysis of what is important to you and your family and working out how to make that happen.

It may be this is something you need to work towards over the next couple of years. But start with what is important to you .....and how to make that happen rather than with a financial total in your mind.

[Brittbugs80]

I've never worked in a high paid industry. I started off as a Nursery Nurse and did full time until I was 27. I was working 50 hours a week for £6.50 an hour. I then went part time after DS doing three long days 730 630 for 7.50ph.

I needed more money but didn't want to work the long hours in a nursery. I started babysitting one night a month and increased this over a year through recommendations and advertising on Facebook parent pages for the are.

In the last three years, I moved to a Room Leader role in the Nursery and earned £8 per hour.

My babysitting business is scoffed at by plenty, especially on here when people think I'm either making it up or call the people who pay me stupid for paying what they do. I charge £15 per hour and it's more involved than just coming over when kids are asleep, watching TV and go home. I often end up there while parents get ready to go out, bath the children, get them to bed. I also check on them every 15 mins etc, record it all. I also offer over night stays, sleep training, Saturdays and Sundays in November/December for parents to do Christmas shopping.

At the minute I'm trialing a general home PA service and this is getting some interest.

My business is legit and VAT registered, last year my income from it was £10,000 but this has been 10 years in the building. My first year I made £200.

I was then able to leave my nursery job. I am employed by someone now for 27 hours a week and they pay me £23ph but there is literally no stress and I babysit etc round this.

Childminders are always in demand. The o my thing I would offer as a word of caution is the funded hours from the Government that are being rolled out (30 hours) many nurseries are struggling and are closing because a child can attend a nursery for "free" for 30 hours, the Government pay the nursery £3 an hour but that child's fee would work out at £4.50 an hour so nurseries are losing around £1.50 per hour per child, but childminders charge a bit less and less overheads and I know some childminders were receiving the same hourly rate. There's a group called Champagne Nurseries Lemonade Funding who are running a campaign and have been in Parliament this week discussing it. They have childminders on there too which could be helpful for you.

It seems like you have the chance to make a change and I'd grab it with both hands. Probably more since I lost my Dad, but I'm now of the opinion that life is only happening once and it's too long to spend being unhappy with the prospects of retirement being moved further and further away for most.

[SunFlower222]

My interests mainly revolve around my family - I do like kids and animals, I like making a lovely home, I think I'm quite good at interior design.
I love travelling, going to new places.
My main quality is that I'm very organised and excellent and planning and organising things.