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To consider making a big move despite reservations?

10 replies

Heygirlheyboy · 27/07/2017 22:09

Ok, would love a bit of straight talking/a sounding board.

Life plan: to move from the city I went to uni in back to my home town eventually. Felt the pull especially in the last 2/3 years. Now it's all happening- house on market, school place for dc in new town and I'm see-sawing.. Confused

I am by nature anxious enough, awful for overthinking, worrying and going back over 'should/would/could have' moments. I'm happy in current place - there's a lot of facilities, neighbourhood and school is good so that doesn't make things easier. I've friends here (been here 15y) but go home very often and up to it actually looking like reality I've envied friends on fb at home, posting about different things.

Is it normal enough to feel unsure and do I need to just make definite decision and run with it? (current state of indecision is making me less certain as time goes on) People are saying go with your gut, but some days my gut says: stay where you are, avoid the big change but this is the chance and I feel it's now or never. Any advice/anyone been equally unsure with positive ending??

OP posts:

Mysteriouscurle · 27/07/2017 22:15

I moved and regretted it. Well in a way I dont regret it as there have been some positives but if I had my time over again I'd have stayed where I was. I always remember advice a friend gave me about moving (and which I should have listened to). If your feeling 50/50 about it go with the status quo. If you feel very strongly one way or the other go for it.


newmumwithquestions · 27/07/2017 22:22

In your OP you twice refer to the town you're from as 'home'. If after 15 years the town you're in now doesn't feel like home then I'd say go for it.


Heygirlheyboy · 27/07/2017 22:29

Thanks both. I am feeling 50/50 some days alright but I think it's the nerves/the whole practical and emotional side of upping sticks, it's huge.. That's what I'm hoping it is anyway. Current place is beautiful in the summer which is definitely effecting my view of it, I think. I'm so bloody unsure!

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WhatsGoingOnEh · 27/07/2017 22:29

I also moved, and regretted it! I'd been in Previous Town for 12 years, had kids there, made a lot of friends there. H and I split and I stayed in the house. Had such fun.

Met DH2, moved back to my hometown. Live v close to my family. Only see them, nobody else. Haven't made friends with anyone, really. Miss my old life.

That's such a good quote about being 50/50. I was completely 50/50 on moving.


Heygirlheyboy · 27/07/2017 22:30

What are the reasons you think you should have stayed mysterious?

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Heygirlheyboy · 27/07/2017 22:33

Oh god whatsgoingon.. That's hard. I think because dc are very young I'd meet people through school and I h some old friends still around- though of course they have their own lives. I worry that my current situ- sahm for another year- is making it harder to judge. I'm not cut out for this long term so there's a bit of me being completely last place to my dc so this is not my normal existence, if that makes any sense. (I can transfer job to new town in 12m).

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couchparsnip · 27/07/2017 22:57

I have moved back to my home town and am loving it. My family is there to help with children and be part of their lives. I have kept in touch with old friends and live close to a couple of them. Its not quite the same as you OP as we had been abroad for 3 years but it was a good decision for us.


Heygirlheyboy · 27/07/2017 23:00

Ok thank you couchparsnip. My family won't be of practical help but they will be there.

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NK493efc93X1277dd3d6d4 · 28/07/2017 22:12

If you've been feeling the pull back for a couple of years it is likely to continue I expect. if you don't do it then you may always wonder whether you should have done so.
I think it's normal to feel apprehensive especially when lots of things are going well where you are. But nothing ventured nothing gained and sometimes you just have to take a risk.


Heygirlheyboy · 03/08/2017 20:21

Thank you NK, that's what I'm hoping really that it's apprehension because of the huge change, it's the biggest decision of my life really which as an over thinker is huge! Other decisions were just the only decent option or natural progressions, nothing that was such a jump.

OP posts:
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