To ask which of my friends was wrong here?

[schoolgaterebel]

Who is wrong here?

Two friends, Anne & Sally (not their real names!) go shopping together.

Anne suggests they pop into a certain shop, she has had her eye on a certain dress and is hoping it'll go on sale soon (it costs £100).

Dress has still not been reduced but both ladies buy some earrings and Sally sees a scarf she likes (but doesn't buy it)

A couple of weeks later Sally is out with her DH and decides to pop back to buy the scarf, she notices the dress has been marked down to £80, phones Anne to ask if she would like her to buy it on her behalf (only 1 dress left, marked down, last chance to buy it etc)

Anne says no, £80 is still too much, she won't be buying the dress. Sally buys it for herself.

When Sally tells her she has bought the dress (and offered to lend it to her for her holiday) Anne is very upset and hurt, she says she didn't want it but didn't want Sally to have it either.

Sally is bewildered and doesn't believe she has done anything wrong.

(For the record, both ladies are very well off and could both easily afford the dress, Anne, on principle does not like to spend too much on clothes, but will spend on herself in other areas)

I am neither of these ladies

[pigeondujour]

But surely you'd feel it was nice that you had a friend who phoned you to let you know the dress had been reduced and offered to buy it for you there and then on your behalf as there was only one left and when you said no, that you still couldn't afford it at that price, later offered to borrow you the dress to take with you on your holiday?

Yeah, to be fair, I absolutely would.

[FeelingAggrieved]

Anne needs to get a grip.

[user1497557435]

Anne is ridiculous

[ThinkOfTheHorses]

Anne is being a psycho

[Gingerandgivingzerofucks]

Anne is BU. Dog in a manger or what? As she could've afforded it at full price, she was doubly silly to not get it at £80 and totally ridiculous to now be upset that Sally has bought it.

[toosexyforyahshirt]

In Anne's shoes I probably would have silently been hurt

Then you are almost as bonkers as she is. How can any grown adult be hurt because their friend bought a dress that she neither owns nor is planning to buy?
Christ almighty if you find that kind of thing hurtful how do manage to get through a day, let alone an actual crisis of any kind?

[hellejuice91]

She asked if she wanted it, she said no so she bought it. People are so silly they need to appreciate the friendship they have and forget about these silly little details

[BenLui]

If I were Sally I would decline invitations to shop from Anne for some time to come.

[CookieDoughKid]

Anne needs to grow up . completely unreasonable!

[acapellagirl]

Tune** even

[acapellagirl]

To the tund of Kid Creole and the Coconuts:

"Oh Annie don't be insan-ny
(It's just a dress at the end of t'day)

[schoolgaterebel]

@Tofutti
Love that!

[acapellagirl]

Lolled even

[acapellagirl]

Emmeline I lols at your post

[acapellagirl]

You've cheered me up Tofutti😁

[horsefeathers]

Frankly if Anne's going to be this much of a loon I'm not sure I'd trust her not to have an 'accident' with red wine while she's borrowing the frock.

[schoolgaterebel]

I am neither Sally or Anne

But I was told the story by Sally (so perhaps her version is a bit biased)

Anne is quite a competitive person, but usually sensible in the face of drama, which is why her reaction to this surprised me.

In Anne's shoes I probably would have silently been hurt, but not said a word in fear of appearing petty. Anne's emotional outburst took Sally by surprise and there may well be some underlying issues.

MN jury has spoken....it's just a dress ladies, grow up

[horsefeathers]

Anne is being a silly child. It's a dress, for fuck's sake. Sally even rang Anne and told her it was on sale - Anne had first dibs and said no! If I had decided against a purchase and my friend bought the thing instead, I'd be happy for her and hope she enjoyed it, AND I would be chuffed to bits if she offered to lend it to me. People don't get exclusive rights over things they like.

Talk about first world problems, bloody hell.

[supersop60]

Anne is BU, although I have a little sympathy. When I was a student, I saw a lovely summer dress advertised in a magazine. Being fairly poor, I decided to save up for it. Every subsequent edition on the magazine still carried the advert and I was getting closer to affording it. I got a real shock when I went home for a weekend and saw the very dress hanging up. My sister had seen the same ad, asked DM for it and got it!
Neither of them knew that I wanted it, and were surprised at my upset. In the end DM got one for me and we vowed never to wear it/them at the same time. (and I spent the money on something else)

[Emmeline123]

Anne is a silly moose, on the assumption that Anne does not see the dress as a textile-based representation of decades of tension with Sally, whereby Sally has always had to go one better, stealing Anne's boyfriends and crippling Anne's self-esteem.

[SonicBoomBoom]

I think Anne is being ridiculous.

However, I had been eyeing up, and saving for, a very expensive (to me) pair of shoes. I'd been going to visit them in the shop when I passed over a few months. When I eventually had the money, I was with my friend, so we went into the shop so I could buy them.

I asked for the size 2 and the assistant said they were out of stock, 3 was the smallest, but they could order the 2 in for me but it would take two weeks. Which was fine so I ordered them. Friend then bought the size 3 they had. Which I was a bit about.

Then, she proceeded to tell everyone "Sonic copied me actually, as I had them first".

Which I suppose isn't a million miles away from Anne and Sally, and I was pretty fucked off, so maybe I'm petty too.

(My friend also said I'd have first refusal on wearing them on any nights out we were both going on. Yet when the first night I wanted to wear them came, I told her I was wearing my shoes, she said fine, then wore them anyway. Telling everyone I copied her. Cow)

[Tofutti]

Oh Annie
You are a fannie

Sally found your dress
Now it's all a mess

You coulda worn it on hols
Now you'll have no LOLs

Sally is a lovely
And in her new dress, comely

[indigox]

Anne is being ridiculous.

[Sugarpiehoneyeye]

Sally should tell Anne, to get a life, and never offer to lend her the dress again ! 😄

[MissionItsPossible]

I can't pretend I'd feel great about liking a dress but not being able to afford it and my mate, knowing that, buying it. I know you say she could afford it but I think there's a difference between 'having the right amount of money in your possession' and 'affording it' if you see what I mean

But surely you'd feel it was nice that you had a friend who phoned you to let you know the dress had been reduced and offered to buy it for you there and then on your behalf as there was only one left and when you said no, that you still couldn't afford it at that price, later offered to borrow you the dress to take with you on your holiday?

VeryButchyRestingFace

I take these threads that the OP is either a 'Sally' or an 'Anne' and decide which they are by their subsequent replies