To be utterly annoyed that things are sold for babies that aren't advised??

[minniemummy0]

I'm expecting my first baby soon. I'm 35 and consider myself fairly intelligent, and I've not been completely sheltered from babies, I've got a niece and nephew.

But honestly, it annoys me so much finding out that things available freely are potentially harmful. The two examples I can specifically think of are cot bumpers and walkers.

Even at the Mamas and Papas baby event I went to, the gentlemen who gave a talk on sleeping, which wasn't essentially an advert for their own products, said the bumper was for show and not safe for baby, and even when they are older could be used as a leg up to get out of the cot, so still not really safe.

And then now I read in another thread tonight that baby walkers stunt baby's development! What the heck! Why are they even sold?! I thought they helped baby to start walking safely! I was obviously wrong but can you honestly blame someone for presuming that?! It seems not something that would ever have occurred to me!

Aibu to think you should be able to presume baby related items are safe, and not damaging to baby, and if they are they shouldn't be bloody sold?!!!

[yellowgymball]

Jumpers (circle of neglect)



Are you saying people who use jumperoos are neglecting their baby?

Certainly don't neglect my child because i stick them in a jumperoo every now and again. It's handy and keeps the baby entertained.

Sometimes they need to be contained for a short period and it is just one of many ways to do that

[sykadelic]

I got breathable cot liners because my DS kept getting his leg stuck. The cords are not anywhere near long enough to strangle him (I could barely do them up).

Jumpers (circle of neglect) and walkers aren't great, but they do serve a purpose.

You can get socket covers (in the US anyway) that replace a regular cover (called a Mommys Helper White Safe Plate) that I think look pretty cool.

I also had my DS in a Rock & Play overnight. I brought the one that laid flat and he slept SO much better (reflux) than he did in his crib. He's now in his crib.

He also slept in his own room from 4 days old because I have a CPAP and he is a loud sleeper.

You honestly just have to make your own way. Do some research but trust your instincts too :)

[1forAll74]

Maybe not google anything about baby things at all,,or read any baby books.. Its a very strange world these days if you have to resort to these things.. Its a very commercialised world now. and just people trying to make money for things that you don't need.

[SerfTerf]

I don't like the "ban all x" approach because it undermines parents' radar and common sense. A lot of people end up not even understanding the nature of the threat.

While everyone was busy getting hysterical about ALL cot bumpers for older children, many of them were merrily throwing Muslins and blankets over their babies prams.

[SerfTerf]

I'm not going to look it up @littleshirleybeans because I don't believe any child capable of sitting unaided has even been harmed by a suitable Velcro-fastened bumper used appropriately.

Fair enough not all babies sit at 6 months and I shouldn't generalise (mine do). 6 months used to be the generalisation and that isn't helpful. None of the age based rules were because babies develop differently.

[SerfTerf]

and yes it is annoying that many women don't do thorough research into things before buying



Why would you be annoyed by someone else's choices? How do you know that they haven't researched anyway? Are you assuming that because they've arrived at different conclusions to you?

This culture of judging other people's parenting is toxic. Look after your own babies and let other people look after theirs

[littleshirleybeans]

SerfTerf
Please google justice for Preston. Sorry I can't post a link. He was about 9 months old when strangled by his cot bumper.
There is NO such thing as a safe cot bumper. At any age. No matter what they're made of.

[SerfTerf]

YABslightlyU but it's understandable first time parent stuff.

I decide what to use for my DC and in what way. Some advice is over cautious. Not all advice has a strong evidence base. Some items and practices are quite finely balanced in terms of arguments for and against.

The NCT bedside cot is a great example; Absolutely safe if used as per the instructions. The concern after that awful tragedy was that it was too easy for other parents to similarly use it incorrectly if second hand cribs didn't come with the instructions. My own position is that I am perfectly well aware how to use one safely and would like to continue to use one.

Similarly, the rules for making up bottles changed at some point between my DC2 and DC3. I have my own views on individual aspects of the guidance and will act accordingly.

I also reserve the right to use cot bumpers from 6 months but I am careful about materials and stiffness.

And so on.

The most important thing is always to be thinking and open minded and critically engaging with new information.

[Beachbaby2017]

For example the pp who said people have their children in car seats too long when they are used on the pram. Hasn't it occurred to you that maybe they have driven somewhere and are just nipping to a shop within the recommended time frame?

That was me, and yes, of course I know it's sometimes appropriate to use the seat in that way. But, I see people using it in settings where I do not think that's the case. For example, on long designated walking paths, on public transit, long sessions in coffee shops, etc. I'm not out there with my stopwatch but it does seem like many people keep their infants in car seats longer than is now recommended. I'm not judging anyone for that at all, my point is that the information about car seat safety should be better and more widely communicated.

[Thebewilderbeest]

I agree that there needs to be a serious review of safety standards on baby equipment as people assume that they must be safe.

SIL and BIL put nephew in a forward facing seat at 5 months old because he had reached 9kg. I protested and told them about what the forces in a collision can do to babies' necks (including internal decapitation) but they both insited that it was fine because the manual said it was, and it was a 'good brand'.

You can never remove all risk, but you can reduce it as much as possible.

Also yes, you can safely use certain items like bumbos with a bit of common sense. The problem is that not everyone has common sense!

[leafv]

I disagree with the home Doppler argument. I lost a baby through missed miscarriage and the only way I kept going through my second pregnancy was listening to my baby when I was having a hard time. Having said that I researched a lot about them, could clearly tell the difference between my heart beat, the babies and the sound of the placenta. I also knew that it wasn't uncommon to not be able to find the baby for a few days, so I didn't let this stress me out. As soon as I started to feel movements I no longer used the Doppler.

When people use them as reassurance when the baby isn't moving as much that is dangerous. However whenever I felt reduced movements I always went to the MAU to get checked. If you are sensible they are perfectly safe to use as long as you understand how to.

I have no issue with johnsons baby products (apart from I won't use talc) and my LO gets on fine with them - and she smells lovely ha ha.

There are guidelines about everything and most of this stuff is a matter of knowing the risks and using them appropriately - ie bath seats and drowning etc. Some thing I do agree should be banned, like cot bumpers - there is no safe way to use them but a lot of the time parents aren't being unsafe if they chose to use a certain product. For example the pp who said people have their children in car seats too long when they are used on the pram. Hasn't it occurred to you that maybe they have driven somewhere and are just nipping to a shop within the recommended time frame? That's what I do. If we go on a long walk then I take the carrycot instead.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Ds loved his walker,only ever used for very short periods of time and only at my dad's where it was all on one level. Bumpers on the other hand shouldn't be on sale imo.

[BertieBotts]

Anything sold in pound land has to conform to UK standards no matter where it's made. Anything sold from a proper business in the UK has to or they can be fined. Even when shops have the imported stuff they cant sell it if it has banned ingredients etc.

One problem many people aren't aware of is that if you're buying stuff online e.g. on eBay or amazon, or independent sites, if it's coming from outside the UK (especially outside the EU) THEN it doesn't have to conform to local standards. There's so much crap sold online which comes direct from China etc which is potentially totally unsafe.

Children's dressing up clothes are classes as toys rather than clothing so don't have to meet flame retardant guidelines and are often made from flammable materials.

Weaning foods sold with 'from 4 months' printed on them.

[OkPedro]

Thanks hmm
I've never used a home Doppler. I had reduced movement when I was pregnant with my ds and went straight to hospital. I can imagine many women trusting the doppler when they should actually go to hospital

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

it is annoying that many women don't do thorough research into things before buying

Is it not annoying when men do it?

And LOL at fabric wraps being a 'modern fad'. They're one of the oldest methods of transporting babies! Or did you think people were pushing Bugaboos round in Elizabethan times?

I don't think it's fair to berate parents for buying stuff as most people assume that being able to buy it in the first place means it's safe.

[Hmmalittlefishy]

OKPedro home dopplers can cause false positive type results or indeed false no reading results. Parents are not trained midwives and it's not routinely checked equipment so can give a fake reading which in the least upsetting scenario causes a lot of unnecessary stress.
Any pregnant woman noticing a change in movements (a change not even a reduction) needs to contact their local hospital / midwife Base

[minipie]

Just an anecdote but... DD had a sit in walker. She walked at average age despite having, as we later found out, cerebral palsy. Which is pretty amazing. Who knows whether the walker helped but it certainly doesn't seem to have held her back.

[Hmmalittlefishy]

Link to the lullaby Trust from a few years ago crabbo.
The main concerns are once a baby is rolling so they are out of a moses basket by then, as they can become tangled in the bumper or strangled with the cord.

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/parents-should-remove-cot-bumpers/

[OkPedro]

What's the issue with Dopplers?

I'm used a walker for both my dc. Our rules were older dc couldn't push younger one. Never used upstairs and not used for longer than 20 mins. Neither of my dc walked on their tip toes or had hip problems. My niece used a walker, walked on her tip toes till she was four. My nephew used a walker walked on tip toes but was diagnosed with asd when he was 5..

[Crabbo]

Does anyone know what cot bumpers are not ok but Moses baskets are, even though they also seem to have padded fabric all around the edge? I thought they were unsafe because of suffocation risk if the baby pressed their face into it but surely that would be Moses baskets too? Only thought of it because I was looking at the co-sleeper cribs (Chicco next to me etc) and they all seem to have a padded fabric side too?

[ComputerUserNotTrained]

It is impossible to eliminate all risk, Hmm

I mention dummies because for a while they were absolutely condemned as preventing children's speech development. Crappy, beaded dummy clips - revile away.

[JaniceBattersby]

J&J products don't 'cause' eczema. Nobody is exactly sure what causes eczema.

Certain products can trigger a flare-up but these are different for everyone. Marketing something as 'gentle' then putting a high price tag on it (hello Aveeno) doesn't mean it won't cause a flare-up.

FWIW I've had extremely bad eczema for my whole life. I can use J&J products with minimal itching. Aveeno causes my skin to blister. In fact, so does water which is about as 'gentle' as you can get.

Babies don't need any bath products at all. They don't even really need shampoo very often. For the first six months mine have all been washed with a flannel in plain water with a quick shampoo every week or two.

[Cloeycat]

Gosh if you follow absolutely every guideline to the letter you'd never leave the sofa. For example I've a spring baby, it's now summer and hot and sunny. The guidelines say: under 6 months no sun cream and out of sunlight, also don't cover your pram with a muslin as they over heat (fair enough), also don't have a blanket or too much clothes as they overheat. I've mad the decision to leave the house this summer with baby in pram.
Hat on head, suncream on limbs. Created a canopy (not a cover) with a muslin going from pram hood to handle so leaving 3 open sides for airflow but creating shade. But I'm still critised for every decision.

Do what's right for you and your baby while keeping them as safe as possible.

[Hmmalittlefishy]

Madness to protect babies who can't protect themselves when new research or learning from tragedies come out computer?
Noone has said adults can't talk because of dummies they said dummy clips with small beads are a choking and strangulation risk

[Hmmalittlefishy]

I hate cot bumpers. They don't seem common sense not to use them for everyone - they come in a pack of 'essentials' from 'trusted' shops like mothercare and it looks like they will protect a babies soft head. But I read the story too about the poor baby that died after being tangled and it was so sad. Why can't they just ban them.
I had a big online argument with some stupid woman about it who told me 'it was a nanny state health and safety gone mad and her children had them and were all fine'

Baby bjorn arent ideal particularly for babies with existing hip problems and facing out isn't recommended for more than 20mins if baby is happy but the most dangerous slings are bag slings where a baby's airway is restricted as they are carried in a slumped position across the body. Not seen too often but very dangerous