Parking again, I'm at the end of my tether!!
mydogmymate · 06/07/2017 17:54
I live in a housing association house in a cul-de-sac and we've all got our own driveway. About 50% of the people have lived here since the houses were built, about 25 years, and look down on newer residents & think they own the street. These same people also have children who are now adults with their own children who are here all the time and also have the same sense of entitlement. Theres cars parked on pavements, double yellow lines and blocking my driveway. I have phoned the council because no emergency vehicles can get in, but they came during the day when it was quite empty. It's evenings and weekends that are the worst.
Anyway, today it was the girl's next door prom & the whole fucking lot of them where stood on my drive & leaning against my car. I went out and asked them to not touch my car & got a gobful of abuse. Still they didn't move. They've only just gone and I'm shaking with anger.
Sorry it's so long, but I just can't ignore it any more. I'm here on my own with my son & I feel really intimidated. The HA don't want to know. Moving is not an option, any ideas on how to cope with it?
mydogmymate · 06/07/2017 18:15
Thanks for your replies. I've contacted the HA but because the other neighbours wont engage then it's a waste of time. The last time I tried it they were sent a letter & one of the neighbours came and knocked on my door, with her sister and daughter, got in my face and called me a grassing cunt. I'm working on a diagram!
Nocabbageinmyeye · 06/07/2017 18:16
I know mn loves a diagram but ffs sake save the diagram chants for threads that require them, they are annoying enough on those threads but on threads they aren't needed is just ridiculous
I would be out with the hose too op. Or if there is a house that is particularly bad could you block them in another day and go out so they realise how annoying it is
rascallyrascal · 06/07/2017 18:20
Can you video the abuse/ antisocial behaviour when it happens? Also photograph the street at its worst over a period of time. Keep a diary of everything that happens / is said to you. Hope this gets sorted soon. If they come round again you can call the police and report them for harassment. Xx
NellieFiveBellies · 06/07/2017 18:21
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Hidingtonothing · 06/07/2017 18:32
Your only option with the HA is to report it as antisocial behaviour (which it is) rather than 'just' a parking issue. They will send you forms which you fill in each time there's an incident like a diary, and they then take appropriate action based on that.
Otherwise, is there any way of creating more of a barrier around your driveway to stop incidents like the leaning on your car? Doesn't help with blocking your drive I know but just trying to think of practical stuff you can do to reduce their ability to wind you up. We have similar issues where we live, it sounds a similar set up to where you live and our NDN are arrogant, entitled and volatile.
We've prevented some of the problems by changing the way we do things, for instance they were constantly blocking the entry between our houses so we started leaving our bins at the front of the house instead of the back so we didn't have the fortnightly nightmare of getting them round to be emptied. I know we shouldn't have to but sometimes it's easier to circumvent a problem than tackle it head on so have a think about whether there's anything practical you can do about any of the stuff they're doing.
As for blocking your drive, yes it's annoying and no they shouldn't be doing it but it's something else I've chosen to stop allowing to wind me up. If we need to get out I ask them to move, if not I just ignore it. I realise it wouldn't be everyone's way of dealing with it and might look like I'm giving in to them but it's honestly better for my MH than letting it get to me.
Basically I pick my battles with them, I have to live there and I'm quite anxious anyway so I stick up for myself when it's necessary (like asking them to move if I need to get out) and let the rest wash over me instead of letting it annoy me. I think they like the drama tbh so it kind of feels like I'm giving them what they want if I kick off and there's a certain satisfaction in knowing they didn't get the reaction they were hoping for It is a horrible atmosphere with them so I can imagine just how you feel but I like my house and the area is ok apart from them so I try really hard not to let them ruin it for me.
Hidingtonothing · 06/07/2017 18:42
Just read your second post, your HA should have a dedicated antisocial behaviour officer. Speak to them and tell them about the abuse and harassment, they should handle it more sensitively than telling your neighbour you've made a complaint. I reported the issues with our entryway but explained I was worried about backlash and our officer was brilliant. Said she would come and do an external inspection of our whole street and write to them as though she'd seen all the stuff in the entry by chance when they came round rather than anyone reporting them. If your neighbours are parking on pavements and yellow lines as well as over your drive I would have thought your HA could approach it as a general parking issue and keep your name right out of it.
mydogmymate · 06/07/2017 19:42
Thanks for your replies everyone, sorry to take so long to reply. I moved to this house because of anti social behaviour in my last house. I did all the right things, keeping a diary, reporting anti social behaviour and they made all the right noises but did nothing. Hence me moving here.
I feel really vulnerable. The one time I stuck up for myself I got a load of abuse back and my car was keyed. I also had another car at the time that was SORN'ed and they reported my to the police but as I wasn't doing anything wrong they didn't do anything. I understand what you're all saying about anti social behaviour, but I'm scared of the consequences if I report. Not right but I have to live here.
Hidingtonothing · 06/07/2017 20:50
That's really shit of your HA mydog, they're supposed to be clamping down on this stuff How would you feel about putting in a complaint to the HA about the way the antisocial behaviour team have handled the problem? You could copy in your MP too, see if you can apply a bit of pressure.
I can well imagine the kind of people you're dealing with so I get that going the 'official route' feels like a bad idea but they have the power to get really tough on your neighbour, you just sometimes have to push them to use it. Would they stop if they were threatened with eviction do you think?
Only other option is to use their poor handling of your initial reports to put pressure on them to move you but tbh it seems really unfair for you to have to move again, it should be them really. Again I think you'd need to put in an official complaint to begin with detailing their ineffective handling of your report and the repercussions (your neighbours coming round and calling you a grass and your car being keyed) and escalations caused by the way the HA went about it. Again you could try and get your MP on side to help fight your corner.
I know you said moving wasn't an option but it has to be better than living with being intimidated and abused. If you would consider it ask whether there's a home swap register for your area. Around here you can swap amongst any of the local social housing stock so doesn't matter if you're council or HA.
Other than fighting fire with fire and getting some burly relatives/friends round (or befriending the local rugby team) to scare them off I really don't know what else to suggest. Pisses me off that scumbags like this think it's ok to make other people's lives a misery, I'm really sorry you're having to deal with this mydog
mydogmymate · 06/07/2017 21:15
Thankyou hiding, I really appreciate your kind words. I did make an official complaint last time ( it's the same HA) and their attitude to me now is cold to say the least, it's almost like my card is marked. I have as little contact as possible with them & as long as I pay my rent on time they don't bother me. But, I've had a long hard think & I need to man up and contact them. I'm loathe to move as I've fallen out of the frying pan into the fire & im scared I'll get more of the same. I've also spent a fortune doing it up & id lose that if I moved.
Hidingtonothing · 06/07/2017 21:24
They've no right 'marking your card', honestly contact your MP and get some back up with this. The HA obviously don't want to deal with the source of the problem, they'd rather blame the people who dare to complain and it's utterly wrong Find out if your MP does a surgery and go see them in person if you can, if not and you want any help wording an email let me know, writing letters is about the only thing I'm actually good at
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