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AIBU?

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Original poster

All this prom dressing - is it a bit frumpy?

31 replies

NonnoMum · 01/07/2017 23:19

This isn't a general 'prom' rant - yes, we might have had an end of year school disco, or a barbq and a quick snog, and I don't mind all the associated transport, spa day, photos etc etc, but I can't help thinking that loads of the photos I see of gorgeous young things in stroppy, frou frou dresses with elaborate Catherine Zeta Jones up-dos, makes quite a few of them look, well, er... frumpy...

OP posts:
user1471545174 · 01/07/2017 23:50

Yes.

Ilikecheeriosyum · 02/07/2017 17:47

Girls cant win!

If they dress in skin tight bodycon dresses they get shamed for dressing inappropriately at a formal event, if they wear a ball gown it's ridiculous and over the top or "frumpy"

I imagine they picked that dress because they liked it and it worked with their budget, they're not going to know all the style tricks of celebrities and fashion icons because they're what 16?

I made some horrendous fashion choices at 16! Half of my years girls went in neon orange dresses! I didn't like them but they were happy and that's the most important thing :) plenty of time in the years ahead to explore what they like to wear and what looks good.

Oh and ladies, it's perfectly okay to wear something you like that doesn't suit you if it brings joy

MyfatheristheKing · 02/07/2017 17:50

All the girls and guys I've seen pics of in my area (friends kids etc) have looked lovely and classy. Not frumpy.

ForalltheSaints · 02/07/2017 17:58

Whether to not the dresses are expensive, frumpy or not, this is a US tradition that we should all boycott.

nina2b · 02/07/2017 17:59

I think it's a ridiculous slice of Americana that is now flourishing here. It's over the top and tacky.

corythatwas · 02/07/2017 18:16

Same custom in Sweden at least since early 20th century, but at end of Sixth Form rather than secondary. Definitely not American there. If it's tacky, then we've been tacky for a long time.

Dd wore a very nice-looking dress which she was then able to re-use once to collect an am-dram award and once in a play. Not to mention, to numerous parties. I re-used mine to attend at least one wedding and to collect my doctorate. Made sense both to my mother and to me to provide offspring with one fairly expensive dress just when they got to the age where they might need it. And also to buy ds his first suit.

TeaCake5 · 02/07/2017 18:17

Proms are vulgar and tacky

Iamastonished · 02/07/2017 18:39

DD regrets her choice of prom dress and says that she will make more of an effort for her year 13 prom. Fortunately everything came to under £100 as she isn't a posh dress sort of girl.

Pollyanna9 · 02/07/2017 18:45

Forallthesaints I TOTALLY agree with you - prom for Christ's sake - what a load of tosh! It's like Halloween - it's all US related. It was 'bad enough' at the school disco (the fashion was black trousers, black tie and loose white man's shirt) - and I was on the outside, not within the 'popular' group (very sad as you can imagine) - but crikey, what pressure this must put on the girls of today!

I shan't be bankrupting myself for this one night I can tell ya!

I can't believe how people lap up this bullshit, I really can't.

passmethewineplease · 02/07/2017 18:50

My cousins DD recently went to her prom and she said there was a girl arriving in a helicopter.

I was Shock

I don't like the idea of them really. Hopefully by the time mine are that age cheesey school discos may be back in.

Me264 · 02/07/2017 19:05

I'm 30 and I still have my prom dress Grin I didn't go for a big bouffant one, it was a cocktail dress from Coast and it's still lovely 14 years later if a little tighter than it was back then

Crumbs1 · 02/07/2017 19:45

I think all my girls have worn their leavers ball gowns several times since. You can never have too many evening dresses as long as you're careful not to wear them with same crowd too many times. Eldest has two balls in next month - full, long dresses with covered shoulders required. Son has his uniform formal evening wear, which saves a lot of money and hassle but his girlfriend has to wear ball gowns.
I dislike proms for all their tacky and OTT ways of celebrating end of school - children pretending to be adults but they all seem to like them. I think sixth form balls are a better idea.

Nanny0gg · 02/07/2017 19:53

It's more the pressure for the most unusual/posh/retro transport that's the problem.

And one school almost makes a red carpet out of the arrivals with all the parents waving and official photos.

The pressure if you haven't much money/taste or 'looks' must be horrific.

So glad they weren't around in my day.

BrexitSucks · 02/07/2017 20:11

this is a US tradition that we should all boycott.

Even the Americans among us? Ooh, that's harsh. Confused Wink

So, er, kids who don't go to 6th form shouldn't have a disco, I guess.

DD is SO looking forward to her prom. And I will enjoy her excitement & dress whatever it's like although my wallet may be traumatised. yr10 DD & a BFF agreed to be each other's dates at the yr11 prom, back in yr8. The BFF is going to make own dress & knows the design now.

I never went to my prom, not interested & no regrets.

Diamondlife · 02/07/2017 20:13

I think it's a ridiculous slice of Americana that is now flourishing here. It's over the top and tacky

This.

MyOtherNameIsTaken · 02/07/2017 20:15

My DD has worn her prom dress a few times since. She loved the ceremony of dressing up and going out in style, fancy hairdo, the works.

Unhurried · 02/07/2017 20:20

Mean spirited bitches.
It's not you going to the 'prom' is it.
So what if the tradition came from the U.S.
The Year 11s at my school love their Leavers' Ball.

ITCouldBeWorse · 02/07/2017 20:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iamastonished · 02/07/2017 20:20

"You can never have too many evening dresses as long as you're careful not to wear them with same crowd too many times."

It depends on your lifestyle. DD is a jeans and T-shirt sort of girl and never enjoys dressing up. She has some lovely dresses, but feels too self conscious to make the most of herself. She hates her prom dress and will never wear it again. She doesn't "do" nails, fancy hair or any make-up at all.

"Eldest has two balls in next month"

What kind of circles does she move in? Nothing like DD does.

pocketsaviour · 02/07/2017 20:27

The kids in my DS's year were forbidden from going to any "prom" rubbish and I could not have been more grateful.
(They were forbidden due to gang activity.)
Fuck knows what I would have done if he'd wanted to go.
Probably faked a sudden professional engagement at the other side of the country.

deadringer · 02/07/2017 20:33

Halloween did not come from the US! .

goose1964 · 02/07/2017 20:43

DD swore a black beaded strapless number to her prom didn't look frumpy at all. We had a sixth form levers do and I wore a turquoise mini with long sleeves, classy eh

Original poster
NonnoMum · 02/07/2017 20:50

I don't mind the whole idea of prom in itself.
I would NEVER body shame a girl with a body con dress.
I don't mind in the least them having something fun to look forward to after GCSEs.
It's just the dresses themselves - lots of them seem a bit middle aged to me. A nice cocktail dress or some sort of mini skirt get up would seem much funkier than the Night at the Oscar dresses that seem to be so in now...
Just a thought...

OP posts:
zeebeedee · 02/07/2017 20:57

I thought the girls my DS is friends with looked lovely, a mixture of long and cocktail dresses, all colours and all degrees of make up/hair - from no make up and a pony tail to a bit orange and a complicated up do! They met at a friends house before going for photos etc, but no limos or anything like that!

MaisyPops · 02/07/2017 20:58

Calling it prom is American, but my very typically British university has been doing balls and formal dinners for centuries.

I think it's lovely as long as nobody's going over the top or excluding others. I really enjoyed seeing our y11s dressed up smart (though a few of us staff joked that the kids looked older than us!)

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