AIBU to think this is totally wrong

[Hazydaze67]

Volunteered to help out at the PTA's Summer Fair yesterday. Ended up on a stall where there were various really great prizes to be won by choosing an envelope with a corresponding number inside. Was taken aback when one member of the PTA came up and said she wanted to have a go but would pay later. She opted for 3 goes for a £5. None of her envelopes had a winning number so she went off never to be seen again and I'm pretty sure she had no intention of paying the £5. Towards the end of the afternoon, another mum comes along and dumps her handbag next to me saying "do you need any help?". As it was coming to the end of the afternoon I said "no, it seems to have quietened down now so I can manage on my own thanks". She then proceeded to open all the envelopes looking for the number for a prize worth over £40 and said she would give me a pound if she found the right one. She had two of her kids going through all the envelopes too and this was in front of other people who had paid the full amount to get a chance to win. As soon as the last customer had gone, I started taking down all the envelopes (she's still going through them all at this point) saying "I'm going to close now, so can you help me bin the envelopes please". She said "I really need that prize, I'm going to ask *** (one of the PTA) if I can have it for £2". She followed me across the field to the Chair of the PTA who was busy organising the packing away and offered her £2 for this prize worth over £40. I don't think the PTA Chair had any idea how much this item was worth and said "Yes I suppose the money is going to a good cause isn't it?" and let her take it away. Does anyone else think this is awful behaviour? I have avoided getting involved with the PTA apart from volunteering to help with stalls, etc., in the past and I'm sick of hearing via other parents that there are one or two people who seem to think that as they are on the PTA it allows them to give their kids free food and drink, unlimited time on the bouncy castle, free go's on the stalls, etc., etc. Does anyone else think this is wrong or am I just being a killjoy?

[Only1scoop]

Grabby MC Grabster of entitledom.
What a complete disgrace and in front of her dc

[Hazydaze67]

Who is Cathy? 😂
I did try to stop her. I even packed all the prizes away so she was under no illusion about me letting her get her hands on the make-up set but she followed me over to the PTA chair and I honestly thought she'd get nowhere.

[Gingerandgivingzerofucks]

Cathy?! I mean why on earth!

[CockacidalManiac]

However, there are several comebacks to my comment that seem to indication shocked indignation at my considering this as a factor. It is a shame if there is really such shock at me trying to approach the situation with understanding and kindness a forethought.

I'd have said virtue signalling, but I'm sure we're all in the wrong.

[Gingerandgivingzerofucks]

Cathy did you let them carry on and why didn't you tell the Chair how much the prize was worth? I would have absolutely stopped her.

[Hazydaze67]

The envelopes were basically white paper sweet bags so they weren't "sealed" as such, but were pinned to a ribbon with clothes pegs. In hindsight I should have been more assertive but it's difficult when you're faced with someone who is so bloody persistent. She was almost manic, giggling away and ripping the bags open. My best "I am not amused" face was obviously not going to deter her from getting what she wanted. Her daughter is in my son's year at school and I see her every day so it was very awkward. It makes me sick to think that some people would stoop so low. I expect the PTA has to trust that volunteers are not dipping their hands into the float, how else can you be sure they are not?

[Gazelda]

I'd definitely drop an email to the PTA outlining the 2 instances.

As a pta committee member myself, I'd be absolutely horrified if this happened, and would be mortified that you'd found yourself in this situation. I'd be worrid that you wouldn't want to volunteer again, that you might tell other parents and the pta's name would be mud. Volunteers are like gold dust to our PTA!

I imagine the First Lady did put the money in the pot at the end of the fair, but it's worth putting a note in the float box or emailing to explain.

And I hope the chair tackles the second lady and says that there must have been some misunderstanding about the rules of the game and could she either top up her payment to at least £5 or return the makeup for use at the Christmas fair.

[CombineBananaFister]

PTA I help on is soooo strict to avoid this sort of familiarity, PAY for every icepop and game, otherwise it just ends up some cliquey-alienating bullshit. We get faaaar less perks than those actually who never contribute for disparity reasons and that suits me fine. THEY ARE TAKING THE PISS

[MatildaTheCat]

Were the envelopes not sealed? I can't understand how anyone was able to go through them like this.

Raise it with the chair and mention both incidents. Unfortunately you may be held responsible since you didn't stop either situation though you have my greatest sympathy.

In future I would suggest some sort of box whereby you insert a hand and select one, sealed envelope per go and a sign mentioning no credit and no returns. There is no limit to the cheek of some people.

[Flatt7]

If the prize was make up, then no, it isn't a needed item. If it was food, it could have been. Actually in my mind, that unorthodox behaviour (at the extremis, called stealing) could really ONLY have been explained by desperation. It surprises me that someone would act this way against strong social norms forbidding it for greed alone.

However, there are several comebacks to my comment that seem to indication shocked indignation at my considering this as a factor. It is a shame if there is really such shock at me trying to approach the situation with understanding and kindness a forethought.

[NoYesMaybe]

You don't know her circumstances. She said she really needs it...maybe she really does? Maybe she is struggling? I would try to chat to her and ask her how she is. You can mention this thing as a reason for your concern. That way if she IS struggling she could let you know. And if she is just greedy she will realise it wasn't acceptable.

This is ridiculous. Just because someone is struggling doesn't excuse stealing. What an awful lesson to teach her kids too.

[Giddyaunt18]

It's wrong. Have a word with the Head Teacher.

[Hazydaze67]

It wasn't food, it was a vanity case full of make up palettes from Claire's. Loads of the Year 6 girls had been coveting it so it would have attracted a lot of attention at the Xmas fair. Hope she enjoys using her ill-gotten gains 😡

[Pigface1]

YANBU. this is no better than stealing!!!

[hks]

thats was just plain rude and stealing !!

what about all the other kids and parents/carers that didnt win she should have paid her money and took a chance like the rest of them

[Dibbles1967]

Shocking behaviour!

You don't know her circumstances. She said she really needs it...maybe she really does? Maybe she is struggling? I would try to chat to her and ask her how she is.

Tell this to the PTA & they can have a quiet word " is all ok with you Mrs X, only we're worried about you as you must be in dire straits to rip off the PTA.

And flag up the one who didn't pay - £xxx taken that afternoon, plus £5 owed from Mrs. Z.

Fecking cheek of it!!

[CockacidalManiac]

You don't know her circumstances. She said she really needs it...maybe she really does? Maybe she is struggling? I would try to chat to her and ask her how she is. You can mention this thing as a reason for your concern. That way if she IS struggling she could let you know. And if she is just greedy she will realise it wasn't acceptable.

What the actual fuck?!

[AlexaAmbidextra]

Flatt7 FFS! Bleeding heart apologist much?

[kali110]

Doesn't give her the excuse to steal

[PratStick]

Unless the prize was food how could she have 'really needed' it?

[PratStick]

I wouldn't say anything about the first person as she might have directly donated the money to the main pot or actually forgot or gave some of her own money on something else.

Second one is a thieving pos. report to head

[Flatt7]

You don't know her circumstances. She said she really needs it...maybe she really does? Maybe she is struggling? I would try to chat to her and ask her how she is. You can mention this thing as a reason for your concern. That way if she IS struggling she could let you know. And if she is just greedy she will realise it wasn't acceptable.

[kali110]

Yes i would, id state that one refused to pay and that the other basically took an item worth £40 for £2.
Cheek

[Hazydaze67]

Thank you to everyone who has commented. I am going to make a complaint although I suspect it will be brushed under the carpet because a friend of my, who was the deputy last year, made a complaint to the headteacher about money that had gone missing and nothing was done about it.

[FizzyGreenWater]

Yes, write to pta chair.

As others have said - it undermines, and if I saw that happening I'd be damned if I ever donated a thing to them again!