To think people can be so rude when you're pregnant?

[smileygrapefruit]

36 weeks pregnant with dc3. Bumped in to a friend who was with someone I didn't know, they were asking me how I was doing etc when her friend, upon learning this was dc3, said, "haven't you worked out what's causing it yet? How does your poor husband feel?". I was and just said "my husband is just as excited as me thanks".

Think this is the rudest I've had but also comments like Was it planned and will this be the last one ...mind your fucking business you rude twat!!!

Aibu to ask for your examples of rude things that have been said to you during pregnancy?
And wibu not to really tell that woman what I thought of her comment? Probably.

[thecatsarecrazy]

I had 2 boys and kept getting asked if I knew what I was having. I didn't and I kept getting oh a girl would be nice then. Then when ds3 was born I got asked if I was hoping for a girl. Because there's a big gap people assume he was a "surprise" no he wasn't

[TrickyD]

Two of my DGCs are mixed race: DGD is quite pale, DGS is quite dark skinned, they are very close in age. When they were together in their pushchair, a woman said "What beautiful children, have they got the same father? "

[CountessYgritte]

Oh the comments and commiserations when I found out that dc2 was the same gender as dc1. Twats.

Also the amount of rude comments I had when we only had one "oh don't you want your child to have a friend and be happy?"
Fuck off.

[smileygrapefruit]

Can I clarify, bemused is probably how I intended the post.

Haha I might just rub the next person's belly who touches mine, that's brilliant!

[knorrig]

I will thanks beyond

[ScarlettFreestone]

Beyond you might not think she sounds amused but I certainly don't think she sounds "outraged".

You however sound unreasonably aggressive, however I concede that this could be a misinterpretation on my part. It certainly came across as unpleasant.

Btw just to be clear I'm not outraged or even mildly peeved by your post, just vaguely perplexed as to why you'd post it.

[ifcatscouldtalk]

People talk shit. It's like they have to say something and "congratulations that's lovely" isn't enough.
People always have unwanted opinions and tbh is not just for pregnant women.

[ememem84]

I've had people try to rub my belly.

Have also had thefood police on my case for daring to eat tuna mayo sandwich.

The belly rubber is at work. I grabbed her belly and rubbed it on Friday. In front of our hr guy. I'd already asked her a few times not to do it over the 24 weeks I've been pregnant. Hr guy raised an eyebrow at it.

She didn't like belly rubs.

I've told her that going forwards every time she grabs and rubs my bump she's getting the same treatment.

[MsHopey]

Me and the husband were eating a meal at the pub the other day, a nice family with their grandad sat down next to us. He started talking about his grandkids and great grandkids and asking us about the baby, my husband is really excited about it all, it's our first one, my husband was like "I can't wait to be a dad, it's going to be so much fun!" The grandad looked at me, looked at the bump and said "mate, I think you've already had your fun".
I choked and laughed so hard, his grandkids (about 25yo) were absolutely mortified!!!

[Beyondworried]

Not really sure why you've commented on this thread beyond.
oh well. I am sure you will be ok.

[Beyondworried]

Scarlett
The OP didn't on any sound amused. Is that ok for you?
My apologies for interpreting the post differently to you

[knorrig]

Not really sure why you've commented on this thread beyond.

OP - sorry you lost a twin, I did too with this pregnancy so have struggled sometimes when people have said are you sure it's not twins (even though at 38 weeks I'm still in my skinny jeans - albeit with a belly band to hold them up!) I feel like saying well it did actually start out as twins!

[twofloorsup]

I have 5 children and have bought them up on my own for the last 11 years.
I've been asked "didn't you have a telly?" Countless times.
On starting a new job one woman was asking me all about my life. When I said I had 5 kids she said "5 are they a matching set?" (Meaning same father).
I just said yes all by the same arsehole

[ScarlettFreestone]

Beyond aren't you just a little ray of sunshine?

I don't think anyone was expressing outrage just stunned amusement that people can be so rude.

If you can't say anything nice...

[Beyondworried]

Not offended OP but people have been coming out with pregnancy related crap from the beginning of time. It happens. I have said stupid things to people in my life as I am sure you and most people probably have. People respond to pregnancy on different ways. They ask questions. Deal with it. I suspect you would be more pissed off if you didn't get any attention. At least you will be ready to give what for to the next poor sod who happens to ask the wrong type of question.

[Bearfrills]

When I had DC1 we got told we "must" have another.

Then had DC2 and got told "lovely, one of each, you can stop now."

Pregnant with DC3 "What? Why!? There's not a third flavour you know." Also got told "no one needs more than two." Had quite a few rounds of "on purpose?" usually with a head tilt. One or two "all to the same dad?" too.

Then once DC3 arrived the tune changed and it was "oh you can't make DC2 a middle child! That's so unfair! You'll have to have another!" and "it's uneven now, you'll have to try for another girl!"

DC4 brought out the "was it an accident?" comments again. Also got asked "were you worried he'd leave you?" meaning DH. Spluttered that no, he was happy too "no, I meant did you have so many to try and make sure he stays?"

[smileygrapefruit]

beyond and free if my post offends you I apologise but I'm pretty sure the e.g. in my OP was very rude and not acceptable. I'm certainly not a virtuous wee thing and have undoubtedly inadvertently offended people but I definitely have never ever asked such an intrusive and downright rude question, especially to a perfect stranger. free I am truly sorry if you can never have children you want. I can slightly empathise about how hard people complaining about pregnancy can be...even on this thread that I meant to be light hearted I have had that horrid feeling in my stomach when twins have been mentioned as I lost a twin in my last pregnancy but I know that's not anyone else's fault and people can still moan about how difficult twins are. The "are you sure there's only one in there" comments brought me to tears every time.

[Screwinthetuna]

That is pretty rude.
I never had anyone be rude during my pregnancies. In fact, everyone was so much nicer!

[laurzj82]

Not me but my friend. She was in a bank when heavily pregnant, long queue and wasn't feeling too great so sat down to wait on a chair next to an elderly man. He asked her if she was married. She said no but that she was engaged. She then crossed her legs. He said that he was surprised that she could and he bet she wished she'd done that before!

[Oysterbabe]

How are you only 6 months?! You're huge. I was still in my skinny jeans until 7 months.

[Zaberwocky]

Some people are thick as mince. Well meaning though, generally. People just say things for the sake of saying them, making conversation I guess!

I know it's hard, but you really have to let it go over your head. People mean well, and I'm sure we're all guilty of speaking without thinking on occasion!

[CrumblingTeeth]

The "oh, no, another boy, you poor thing!" comments really upset me.

I've also been asked several times if they have the same father.

[Lostinaseaofbubbles]

It's not just pregnant people. I have 3ds and I pretty equally get "are you doing to try for a girl?" And "you're not having any more are you"

[FreeNiki]

That too beyondworried. As if these precious pregnant ladies have never once said anything that would offend anyone. Virtuous wee souls they are.

Id love to be asked all these questions....its unlikely I'll ever have a child now.

[Beyondworried]

Oh FFS..... if people haven't already worked out that other people can from time to time say stupid things then perhaps time to get a grip and stop being so precious and outraged by it all. Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things??