She's not anywhere near as bad as some MILs and I am very grateful for her help in looking after dd etc, but nothing I do concerning what I provide for dd is good enough for her. I have no idea why it gets to me so much, it's very trivial really, but it makes me so mad.
Bit of background:
She picks dd up twice a week from creche after lunch. And EVERY SINGLE TIME she will moan when we pick her up at the end of the day about what dd's wearing/not wearing/has in her crech bag.
MIL rarely takes her out in the afternoons, they live on a farm so there are lots of outdoorsy things for her to do there, feed the animals, go for walks, play on the swings, splash in the stream etc, so we put her in play clothes.
I bought a Tesco Value tracksuit for MIL to keep over there as spares in case dd got filthy/wet. It was fleecy and warm, and nice and cheap, so we wouldn't care if it got ruined - but pale pink. MIL has refused to put her in it because "it's not a serviceable colour" - we told her time and time again it was v cheap, we don't care how filthy it gets, it's meant for playing in. Not good enough, why didn't we buy a navy boys one, we might as well take it home as she won't use it etc etc.
We have bought a spare winter coat, rain mac, hat, scarf, gloves and wellies for dd to keep over there because a) they won't all fit in her creche bag, b) we can't always predict the weather for the afternoon and c) we sometimes forget to pack it all. MIL complained last week that dd's jacket wasn't warm enough when she took her shopping and she was worried all afternoon about her being cold. FFS! she never takes her out, has her own coat for dd which she obviously didn't think to take with her and we never overload dd with coats and hats to go to creche because MIL always bloody leaves them there anyway and we end up with none left at home!
Last week, I sent her over in a Minnie Mouse fleecy hoodie which was relatively expensive when we bought it (from Disneyland so it would be) but has gone shabby now so we're letting dd get the wear out of it before it goes too small. MIL took it off her and complained that she'd had to change her out of her nice things and into play clothes and wasn't it lucky she'd had spares there. I explained that I wouldn't put her in anything we weren't happy for her to play in because she plays outdoors a lot and roughly. Today she told dh how disappointed she was that dd wasn't in her nice fleece top as she took her to see relatives and she looked scruffy. Did she TELL us she was taking her to visit people? No. Did she ASK for a change of clothes when we rang her this morning? No. Are we meant to be mind readers? Apparently so.
I could go on, the list is endless, but we never dress her correctly for MILs plans and apparently, providing MIL with sets of clothes and outerwear so dd doesn't get caught out in unexpected weather just isn't doing enough to help MIL out and accommodate her needs. Am on the verge of ringing her every morning and asking exactly what she would like dd to wear that day, or asking her to come over and dress her herself.
Phew, that feels better! I love MN.
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AIBU?
to let MIL get to me so much? Very long rant, but will make me feel better.
23 replies
BibiThree · 19/03/2007 21:02
OP posts:
Sobernow ·
19/03/2007 21:16
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