To give my 14-year-old a budget for school lunches

[StuntNun]

DS1 is spending around £20 a week on school lunches. I asked him to reduce his spending and have bought reusable water bottles and snacks for him to take from home but he still spends £3-5 per day. As he is 14 years old AIBU to give him a set budget and if he runs out of credit on his school account he will have to use his own pocket money or make his own lunch to take in?

[Trills]

You would be unreasonable NOT to do this. Teenagers need to learn to budget, and of course if you constantly top up there will be no need to try.

I can't comment on whether £3.50 is a reasonable budget though.

[Hassled]

DS seems to average £3 a day. I can see what he's had online - I'm less concerned about the money and more about the worrying amount of shite he buys. We've had words, many words, but in reality I have little control unless I make him make packed lunches each day, and I don't have the strength right now.

[EivissaSenorita]

He is absolutely buying fags 🚬

[Enko]

Depends on the cafe costs... I have 4 in secondary they all get about £15 a week 2 of them will spend this near to the penny 2 of them go up and down. dd3 age 13 tends to use the least but she also has the cheapest school prices.. dd1 spends more than dd2 and they are in the same school. DS spends between £12 and £15 depending on how snacky he is. If I gave it to them DD1 and 2 could easily spend £20 a week.

[Flyinggeese]

OP if you can afford it I wouldn't use this as a budgeting lesson. £4 per day sounds about right to me. A sandwich alone will not be enough for a 14 year old boy I wouldn't have thought. My son would have perhaps a baguette, pot of pasta and a drink plus maybe something. At break time, though I can see your son does take his break time snack from home.

If not affordable could he take food from home on one or two days?

[StuntNun]

I've just checked on the school system (it's a prepay account where he uses his fingerprint to pay - very cool!)

Monday: sandwich, can of drink, two biscuits £3.50
Tuesday: roll, can of drink, two biscuits, fruit juice £3.45
Wednesday: sandwich, can of drink, two biscuits, popcorn £5.10
Thursday: sandwich, can of drink, water, popcorn, fruit juice £5.15

He's definitely paying more than he needs to. There is an ample supply of drinks, popcorn, biscuits etc. at home and I'm more than happy to buy in bulk from the supermarket to save money.

[Squishedstrawberry4]

I'd stop the cash. He's not having a hot meal and it will be more economic for him to make his own sandwich. Also maybe he needs to find a better alternative to a can and two biscuits

[Squishedstrawberry4]

There's book veg or fruit. Is there any protein?

[Squishedstrawberry4]

There's no veg

[QuietNameChange]

Little vegetables, fruits or proteine...

I think he could make his own sandwiches and... maybe buy a drink or a biscuit?

[nicknameofawesome]

I wouldn't give mine £4 a day for a sandwich, can of soda and biscuits. That's basically a packed lunch which you could do at home for half the cost. Personally I think you make a sandwich or buy (mostly) hot food. I literally see no point in buying a cold sandwich every day.

YANBU to set a budget.

[FreeNiki]

Teenagers need to eat more calories than most adults do. Sometimes a sandwich, snack and a drink is not enough.

School is out at what 3:30pm though.

They'd hardly starve on breakfast and a sandwich and snack from 8:30-3:30.

They can snack when they get home and then have dinner and more snacks if they want.

My working hours had me out of the house 7am-7pm. I managed on a bowl of cereal and a sandwich and drink in 12 hours.

[FreeNiki]

I also would pay a fiver for popcorn, sandwiches and drink cans.

He isnt having anything at school he couldn't take from home. Id make him take a packed lunch.

[FreeNiki]

*wouldn't pay

[crazycatgal]

Can he not get the hot meal option? Sometimes it works out cheaper than a sandwich and snacks but is more filling.

[BackforGood]

I wouldn't give mine money if they were having what is, in effect, a 'packed lunch' each day. No problem with the odd sandwich / baguette once a week or fortnight, but the point of giving them dinner money is that they can get a hot dinner. If they were having a sandwich each day, I'd show them where the bread bin was at home and spend a fraction of the money.
Either way though, I would expect them to understand there is a limit on what they spend over the week It's another reason why cash is a much better system in my book. If they choose not to spend all their cash, then they get to have cold hard cash in their pocket. With a thumbprint / other on-line system, there is no incentive for them to budget / sometimes choose the cheaper option as they don't 'gain' anything from that.

[OvO]

Some of these prices

Here it's £2 for main meal plus two other items (chosen from homemade soup, yogurt, pudding) and a drink.

OP, I'd definitely start setting a budget. I'd get your son involved with deciding what's fair so he doesn't do the teen 'it's not fair' strop.

[lalalalyra]

The popcorn is the issue by the looks of that - popcorn plus one biscuit or popcorn and a fruit juice is adding £1.50 to the bill so I bet the popcorn is over £1 of that.

On those prices I'd be giving £4 per day. If they want an extra like popcorn then that's fine one day, but if they want it more than once they take it from home.

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

Being unreasonable or not being unreasonable doesn't even come into it. Unless you're a millionaire you have to have a budget for things

[Rubymay]

I am amazed how much lunches cost in schools, packed lunches are the norm here in Ireland, my teenage lads bring two pieces of fruit, yogurt, granola bar, pasta/salad or sandwich & water, I have four children & they all make their own lunches.

[patheticpanic]

Do it. It's a valuable way for them to learn to budget. I did it with both of mine. They got £15 a week and they had to manage it themselves, if they spent it all before the end of the week they had to sort out packed lunches from whatever was in the house.

[Squishedstrawberry4]

Learning to save cash and make his own sandwiches and a balanced nutritional pack lunch is also a skill. Maybe give him cash for a weekly treat £2

[InflagranteDelicto]

Ds is 13, y8. He gets a packed lunch every day although he likes to get fish and chips on a Friday. I put £10 every for weeks onto his account, and he has to budget this, which he manages quite successfully, but he knows if it runs out early then tough. Ds is a very picky eater due to his add, and this way I know he's getting food, even if the nutrition is a bit skewed. It can be balanced at dinner 😁

[Ragwort]

Totllly fair, my DS (16) has packed lunches most days (and I never get the argument about having to buy 'extra' for the lunches - he just has sandwiches with whatever is around in the fridge - cheese, peanut butter, nutella etc and fruit).

Once a week he gets £2.50 for a school lunch - if he wants anything else he uses his paper round money or pocket money.

I am amazed at parents with three children giving them each £15 a week - that sounds a huge amount of money to fork out each week on lunches (and yes, DH and I take our own packed lunches to work).

[RainyDayBear]

YANBU, I think that amount is too high though. I eat in the school canteen from time to time and a main and a cookie or whatever is usually around £3.