Inappropriate party bag gift?

[SignOnTheWindow]

Friend's DS went to an outdoor-activities birthday party (lots of running around grounds of large house; marshmallows over an open fire type thing). Sounds great fun, tbh.

Friend's DS was given a party bag at the end and in the back seat of the car on the way back he opened it and started playing with the contents... which included a penknife - cue him opening it and accidentally cutting himself. Not deeply enough for stitches or anything, but deep enough to end up with blood everywhere.

Now, one thing I didn't find out was whether the parents had been warned that there was a knife in the party bag. I'm assuming not because my friend is pretty paranoid about potential safety issues and I imagine would not have let him have the bag in the car if she knew it contained a penknife.

If they weren't warned, it seems a foolishly dangerous thing to put in party bag for 7 year olds.

What about if they were warned, though? AIBU to think that even with a warning, a penknife is an inappropriate gift to put in a party bag at that age? Or am I being precious?

[ohtheholidays]

I wouldn't care what age the children were who the fuck gives a knife to a child in a party bag?
Were the parents on something?

I bet the school will be well pleased if a child manages to sneak one of those into school,the consequences if that all goes wrong doens't bare thinking about!

[Ginslinger]

We spent a lot of time in Germany when the DCs were growing up and all the children had Swiss Army knives or equivalent - it was a rite-of-passage for most kids to be able to whittle a pointy stick to make snake bread on an open fire. My brother had a penknife when he was small - it's using knives that teaches you not to cut yourself.

However, I do think that the parents should have been clear that there were knives in the bag.

[Aeroflotgirl]

A penknife is not an appropriate party bag gift end of, whether your child knows knife safety or not!

[BertrandRussell]

My brother asked me whether he could give mine a knife wen he was about 7. I had a brief PFB panic and said "But what if she cuts herself!" He said ""So, she cuts herself - she's self healing!"

But absolutely inappropriate for a party bag- what were they thinking!

[RitaMills]

I have a 7 year old and I wouldn't be against him using a pen knife under supervision, DP is outdoorsy so I dare say he will in the near future. I would not have been happy for him to have it in a party bag with no warning my DS is impulsive and fearless, he isn't ready to be left with any kind of knife on his own, that is something I'd rather take out and supervise him with not allow him to flick about in the back of the car without my knowledge.

[Chinnygirl]

I had a swiss army knife at eight and I used it to take bark off sticks to make them into walking sticks and stuff like that.

I do think it is weird as a present though.

[MrsBobtonTrent]

DS had a penknife from 7. But it was planned and talked about. It's been really good for his fine motor skills (as he's really worried about cutting himself).

I can't imagine one going blind into a party bag and so I'm wondering whether the party boy pocketed it at the party and then pretended it was in the party bag...

[newfor2017]

Insane party bag gift! Sounds like an expensive party bag though, I reckon their intentions must have been good! Did they get taught to use a penknife during the party?

[blackteasplease]

I think they needed to tell the parents "there's a pen knife in there", so that they could make a decision and so that there wasnt any of this opening it in the car.

It's OK for a child that age but under supervision at first.

[Newtssuitcase]

No Barbarian and neither was this a situation where we just handed out the knife watched him slice his hand and took it away again. They were given guidance and instruction on how to use them but we were concerned anyway that they might actually be a bit young and these were decent pen knives which had the potential to do a bit of damage. The cut required a trip to A&E and I can assure you that neither DS was keen to get them out again after that.

We made a carefully thought out decision to take them away for a while until they were a bit older. I would be quite happy to hand them out again now (12 and 10) but they've actually not asked for them. Both DSs have decent knife skills in the kitchen though.

[BarbarianMum]

Newt how silly. Ds1 did much the same. He was bandaged, reminded to be more careful and given a second chance. It never happened again. Did you take his bike away the first time he fell off it?

[PoorYorick]

Who in the fuck gives knives to 7 year olds? If you want an outdoorsy theme, what's wrong with a compass?

[Newtssuitcase]

I bought pen knives for my DS's when they were about 8/9 having been persuaded by MN that it would be fine and they were old enough for them (they're very outdoorsy). DS1 promptly sliced his finger and they were then taken away and put onto a high shelf.

I think realistically age 11ish is more appropriate. Putting them in a party bag at age 7 with no warning to parents is bizarre.

[heyduggeeallday]

My seven year could certainly not handle a knife!! She would probably stab her sister!

[mummytime]

Was this in the UK?
Were the party hosts from the UK?

In some countries I wouldn't be surprised eg. Switzerland. If it was in the UK but the parents were "foreign" I would have a quiet word pointing out under 16s aren't allowed to buy knives etc.

In UK with British parents - biazzare!

[BarbarianMum]

It wouldn't bother me if dc got one but I wouldn't personally put something like a knife in a party bag (too expensive, too much potential for messing around at end of party).

[Floozie66]

Bizarre behaviour to put a pennknife in a party bag if you ask me!!

[EduCated]

Agree with Bertrand and others - 7 I should absolutely fine to be handling a knife and learning how to use it safely in a supervised environment.

Handing them willy nilly to party guests that you almost certainly only have limited knowledge of is plain foolish.

And any warning from the party parents should have been absolute and made sure that every single parent was fully aware there was a pen knife in the bags.

Also not surprised that a 7yo wouldn't necessarily recognise a pen knife, even if they can safely use sharp kitchen knives etc. I think even a 7yo would be surprised to find one in a bag normally filled with plastic tat and probably wouldn't think it was a real knife.

[unlimiteddilutingjuice]

Your own 7 year old?: fine give them a knife. Its good to learn how to use them.
Other peoples 7 year olds?: Just no.

[Enidblyton1]

Pen knife for 7 year olds is fine, but not in a party bag!

[barefoofdoctor]

Blimey! I'd raise them a bag of coke in your kids party bags? Or maybe a hand gun?

[contrary13]

I think that there should have been a warning as to the bag's contents, to your friend upon collection, if there wasn't. Perhaps there was, and she simply didn't hear as she was busy rounding up a child who was probably over-stimulated by the party he'd just been too...

I think that it's very much up to the individual parent(s) as to whether a child is introduced to a penknife at a young age... or not. I know that my own parents would never have trusted me with a penknife at that age, because I was very accident prone and rather gung-ho about safety. Consequently, I've never even contemplated giving my own children penknives... although now I'm thinking about one for my 12 year old DS who would love it (but would have to be frisked every day to make sure he wasn't taking it to school, I suspect!). He's very into woodcraft and survival in the wilderness. Would I have given/trusted him with one at 7...? No. Absolutely not. Children of that age don't really grasp the concept of consequences. If they cut someone/themselves deeply, they don't think about the resulting blood, possible stitches, possibility of a life-long scar. They simply think about/live in the moment.

As for treating them as babies... my son went to a friend's house a couple of years ago after school, and as the friend's mother was serving dinner up - she gave them plastic plates, plastic cutlery (the type you give to toddlers learning table manners), plastic beakers. My son, who had been using crockery and "proper" cutlery for... well, pretty much his entire life, was mystified. His friend apparently said that he and his brothers aren't allowed "grown up plates, or knives and forks" until they're 12. At the time, my son and his friend were almost 10. I didn't judge, but my son did. The family were/are lovely, and the boys are still friends, but my son refused/refuses to go there again because of it.

[teaandakitkat]

I don't think pen knives sharp enough to badly cut someone's finger are appropriate in 7 yr olds party bags. Even if you tell the parents first. Who wants to be the only parent who says no?

And what if the parents don't look in the party bag, assuming it's just the usual sweets and a plastic dinosaur and the knife gets left lying around and a younger child gets their hands on it?

Did the parent make up the party bags or was the party organised by a business who provided the bags?

[Asmoto]

Well, knives are age-restricted in shops, so a children's party bag doesn't seem at all the right place for one to be.

[DonaldStott]

Maybe if you did not treat your DC as one he would have known how to handle a small knife without slashing himself

Yes. You silly woman. Everyone knows at the age of 4/5, you take time out with your child and teach them how to handle a flick/pen knife, should the occasion ever occur. For example, that time you routinely receive one in a party bag when you're 7.