Inappropriate party bag gift?

[SignOnTheWindow]

Friend's DS went to an outdoor-activities birthday party (lots of running around grounds of large house; marshmallows over an open fire type thing). Sounds great fun, tbh.

Friend's DS was given a party bag at the end and in the back seat of the car on the way back he opened it and started playing with the contents... which included a penknife - cue him opening it and accidentally cutting himself. Not deeply enough for stitches or anything, but deep enough to end up with blood everywhere.

Now, one thing I didn't find out was whether the parents had been warned that there was a knife in the party bag. I'm assuming not because my friend is pretty paranoid about potential safety issues and I imagine would not have let him have the bag in the car if she knew it contained a penknife.

If they weren't warned, it seems a foolishly dangerous thing to put in party bag for 7 year olds.

What about if they were warned, though? AIBU to think that even with a warning, a penknife is an inappropriate gift to put in a party bag at that age? Or am I being precious?

[toomuchtooold]

Am I too late to file my comment as the on duty expat mum in Germany, and say, there are kids in other countries like Germany who are taught to use sharp knives and light fires at the age of 5 or so, and it teaches them to be responsible and be better at assessing risk, which are important life skills, and probably the reason why the Germans are kicking everyone else's arse economically these days?

And will it make me sound less insufferably smug if I say this scares the shit out of me and in the house my 5 year olds are still cutting their food with those tommee tippee rubber handled knives?

[SecretNetter]

I'm happy for ds2 (7) to use all sorts of 'dangerous' kitchen things - super sharp knives etc - or tools like hammers, Stanley knives and the like. WITH supervision. Once it's done being used, I also supervise it being put away and he knows that he's never to touch the knife block/tool cupboard without our say so.

I would be furious to find him messing about with a knife that had been included in a party bag with no word to parents.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

I agree it's not appropriate for a 7 yo's party bag. I don't see a problem with a sensible child using a penknife if they have been shown basic safety and have reasonable motor skills. DS2 is 9 and was happily whittling sticks with a penknife when we were camping.

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

What museumum said.

It sounds like it was a bushcraft party which would make a knife in the party bag relevant and appropriate if it was discussed with parents.

Nothing wrong with seven year olds having knives DD has had a knife since she was 5, has never cut herself and only uses it with supervision.

[Funnyonion17]

Omg, totally innapropriate for 7

[ChocChocPorridge]

I had a penknife by the time I was one of the older brownies, but it was bought for me by my parents, and only for use at appropriate times..

Not in a bloody party bag!

I do think it is fairly normal to carry some sort of knife though - my mum has a little serrated one she got as some souvenir, and, until I started travelling on planes more for work I always had a little opinel in my bag.

Came in handy for things like impromptu picnics or getting into packages more often than you'd think.

[museumum]

I find it odd OP that you don't know if it was discussed with parents or not. Surely that's the most important part of the story?

If it was an 'outdoor skills' party with an open fire etc. then presumably it also included some knife instructions in the day? If so then fair enough to give the kids a way to continue at home, but of course the parents should have been warned, even if the kids at the party have been instructed in safe use there will be younger siblings in many homes and the family need to discuss/agree where to keep the knife and suitable supervision for its use.

[FeralBeryl]

at the poster with the whittling son!
Imagining her popping out to the kitchen for something and coming back to a lion's head on a chair leg!

Party bag - prior discussion with parents otherwise no way.

I've very mixed feelings on this subject.
DC1 is 7 and would not be able to be trusted with any kind of knife yet whereas DC2 is just 6 and would be great handling one.
However, neither of them show any great interest just yet in outdoorsy, fixery makery stuff so I'm not inclined to introduce them.

Plus the fact that I am very aware of the increase in knife crime locally. I don't want them to think it's particularly 'normal' to carry a bladed implement around, however small it starts. DS is a 'borrower' and would undoubtedly take his to school somehow.

[NuffSaidSam]

I wouldn't put a pen knife in a party bag for seven year olds.

I think it's a great idea for 10 year. My DC would have loved to get a penknife from a party bag! I would always pre-warn the parents though.

But if my 7 year old came home with a penknife in a party bag I wouldn't be that bothered as long as it came with a warning. I'd put this in the 'not something I would do, but really not something to get worked up about' category.

If it came without a warning, that is a different matter. That would be a ridiculous and quite rude thing to do. I would be quite annoyed.

[Clnz4fun]

Is a bit irresponsible to give as a party gift to a bunch of 7yr old that may not use them responsibly but then I can't imagine why a 7yr old would want one.
I certainly wouldn't give my 7yr old one.

[Maudlinmaud]

Mixed responses. I find it odd, dd is 7 and I wouldn't want her playing with a pen knife and playing is exactly what a child would do with one if they haven't been shown how to use it.

[Floggingmolly]

No, of course 7 year olds are not babies (), but giving a 7 year old a penknife without checking with the parents is a ridiculous thing to do.

[KurriKurri]

No big deal and not innapropriate. Scouts use pen knives.

You can;t be a scout until you are 10 as far as I know- quite a lot older than a seven year old. I don't have a problem with a sensible 7yr old having a pen knife, using it for whittling or whatever, but I have known some very silly seven year olds who I certainly wouldn't let anywhere near a penknife. It's not up to someone else to decide when your child is old enough for such things.

What happened to a piece of cake and a balloon ?

[Crunchyside]

mummytime Yes I've got family in Switzerland and think it would be a totally normal gift for a Swiss kid!

I don't know... it's definitely unconventional but perhaps they wanted to avoid the usual plastic tat, maybe they wanted to give something higher quality that will be used for a long time, fits the outdoorsy theme, and perhaps encourages responsibility. And they probably assumed parents would supervise opening of the party bag... My DC is a little younger but I would still check what's in any party bag he receives, mainly just to police how much junk he eats in one go but also its good to be aware what they're bringing home.

[Newtssuitcase]

Lots of children don't go to Forest School froyo..

[PussCatTheGoldfish]

Not suitable for a party bag.

Fine imo for a supervised 7yo.

[froyotogo]

A knife in a party bag is asking for trouble.

A 7 year old not being to handle a knife is absolutely ridiculous.

Forest Schools encourage ALL the kids to help build and light the fire under close supervision of the trained teachers. They have various rules around being in the countryside etc etc. As part of attending this school children are taught to use a penknife during craft activities etc. I guess this 7 year old was not.

[WankersHacksandThieves]

Scouts use pen knives.

Scouts are 10 and a half and use them under supervision.

[likeababyelephant]

No big deal and not innapropriate. Scouts use pen knives.

If there was a dildo in the party bag then yes you're justified in your anger.

[C8H10N4O2]

I had knives of this sort at that age, as did my siblings and children (of both sexes).

I wouldn't put one party bags in the UK because (1) families here generally seem to have stopped teaching kids knife skills (2) decent penknives are too expensive to put in as party bag presents.

What happened to taking home some sweets and a few bits of plastic crap?

[corythatwas]

I'm Swedish so all for 7yos having access to Swiss army knives (and hammers and saws and screwdrivers and proper scissors). I still think it's a silly thing to put in a party bag without warning.

[purplecollar]

They're asked to get them for guide camp from age 10. Even then, mine cut herself a few times. They are taken in by the leader and given out for set instruction times. So yes, I think 7 is too young. There's a lot of growing up done between 7 and 10. It's quite an expensive gift though I think. I'm pretty sure dd's was over £10 and possibly nearing £20.

[user1471518295]

Even if you have no issue about a penknife being given to a 7 year old, NO child should have access to a knife whilst in a car that is being driven - that is asking for trouble! And if the mother was not aware of what was in the bag, then she could not tell the child to leave it until he got home.

[CottonSock]

Just crazy

[WankersHacksandThieves]

I don't think you should put anything in a party bag that the child couldn't buy themselves in a shop, so exclusions would be alcohol, cigarettes, knives, energy drinks etc.

My own DS1 had a pen knife and then a scout knife from around that age, but that was bought by us and used under supervision. My DS2 is nearly 16 and I still don't like him using sharp knives as he is likely to take his fingers off. He can destroy a slice of toast with a butter knife and isn't good with things such as tying his laces. It's not for the want of trying honestly. If he'd been given a knife in a party bag at age 7 he'd probably have severed an artery before we got out the street.

DC have different skills and abilities, that's not a decision that should have been taken by another child's parent.

These are the parents that will be serving alcohol at teenage parties without approval from other parents as clearly they know best (and want to be the "cool" parents).