Inappropriate party bag gift?

[SignOnTheWindow]

Friend's DS went to an outdoor-activities birthday party (lots of running around grounds of large house; marshmallows over an open fire type thing). Sounds great fun, tbh.

Friend's DS was given a party bag at the end and in the back seat of the car on the way back he opened it and started playing with the contents... which included a penknife - cue him opening it and accidentally cutting himself. Not deeply enough for stitches or anything, but deep enough to end up with blood everywhere.

Now, one thing I didn't find out was whether the parents had been warned that there was a knife in the party bag. I'm assuming not because my friend is pretty paranoid about potential safety issues and I imagine would not have let him have the bag in the car if she knew it contained a penknife.

If they weren't warned, it seems a foolishly dangerous thing to put in party bag for 7 year olds.

What about if they were warned, though? AIBU to think that even with a warning, a penknife is an inappropriate gift to put in a party bag at that age? Or am I being precious?

[sticklebrix]

My DC were pretty competent at using penknives by 7. But I'd never in a million years put them in party bags, even with a warning.

Jux I remember being taught how to change a plug in Brownies

[altiara]

At Cubs/scouts I don't think you get a "knife license" until you're at scout level so I'd say 7 is too young. Far too young for those that haven't used knives and still too young to not be warned it's in there for those with some experience. My 7 year old DS helps chops veg for dinner but I still imagine him cutting himself and bleeding over the car if he found that in a party bag. My 10 year old DD would probably tell me while opening it.

[April229]

Maybe a 7 yo would be ok with a knife but I would expect to know they had one as I would NOT be happy with my 7 yo having one without me knowing so I could supervise.

Is there anyone on here who would really give a 7 year old an knife to play with unsupervised??

[SignOnTheWindow]

Totally agree of course, that 7 yr olds are not babies! Also agree that it is not necessarily inappropriate for a 7 yr old to have a penknife - if people who know that child judge them capable and sensible.

But these people didn't know the children beyond superficially from school and they didn't ask parents' permission or even warn them.

[Bedsheets4knickers]

Strange choice of "gift"
Defo not babies at 7 I'd say young children .

[1AnnoyingOrange]

Well I am not totally against a sensible 7 yr old having one as a gift, presumably supervised using it, keeping it somewhere safe, discussing how to use it.

But would not be happy to find one was given in a party bag with no heads up/discussion!!

[hackmum]

For what it's worth, I would have no idea how to use a pen knife or what its main use is.

[SignOnTheWindow]

Ok, I've just got an update:

I've just spoken to my friend; she says they weren't warned and the first she knew of it was when her DS opened his party bag in the car.

Would this party have been somewhere in East Kent because if so my dd DIDNT come home with a penknife - are you positive the child just didn't pocket it as an interesting looking thing and then said it was in the party bag

No, it wasn't this party - this was near a town west of London. Friend's DS definitely didn't pocket it - there was one in all the party bags and her DS wasn't the only one to cut himself opening it (as friend learned later).

From the way my friend described it, it was something like this, so the DC probably didn't realise it was a knife.

[cherish123]

Really!?

[pollymere]

I'm surprised you can give out knives these days as you have to be over sixteen to buy one and there are huge restrictions on them. As an outdoor party I can see that this would have appealed as a gift, especially if they'd been shown how to use them as the party. Would I have been happy not to have been asked first? Definitely not. Very dangerous in a party bag as often younger siblings get there first.

[VestalVirgin]

"7 year old babies" is ridiculous. Children are able to survive by themselves at that age. Not well, but they can survive. They can walk, gather food, and prepare a meal. Not the same as a baby.

Now, I wouldn't hand out a penknife as party gift, because I am of the opinion that while some 7 year olds are mature enough for it, some aren't, and some people don't get mature enough to be trusted with a blade ever.

But treating 7 year olds as babies is silly.

[Jux]

It used to be a kind of rite of passage for a boy to get a penknife (often given by an uncle or godparent) at that age. DH gave dd one when she was a little younger. She managed not to cut herself until she was 11ish!

I imagine that on a day like that they'd have been instructed in how to use them safely and given a bit of practise.

My mum's Guide knife was a scary looking thing, could definitiely do some damage with it.

I think what I'm saying is that I think it's a shame that 7yo kids done't now how to use a knife safely - ie don't muck about with it, and most don't know how to change a plug safely either. We are so risk averse that we are actually endangeriour children unless we helicopter parent.

[Booboo66]

Not read the thread.. But whether the parents were told is the huge difference between whether yabu or yanbu. Best to find out that detail before posting (or not depending on the answer)

[Cubtrouble]

My son is 5, he has a pen knife and a small wood saw and a few other tools. Obviously He is supervised carefully when using things and they are safely put away when not in use. He has learnt how to use things safely and listens to instructions. I don't believe in wrapping kids in cotton wool or bringing up kids who have no skills. However to put a knife in a party bag was reckless to say the least and I'm sure OP that there will be others at the party who thought the knife was ridiculous as well.

Could it be that the knife ended up in there by mistake or had been knocked in for example or do you know if every kid got one!?

Swiss army make a kids knife like my sons with round tipped blades- safe to use in terms of stabbing yourself but could still cut you, they also make an entirely plastic non cutting knife which would make a good present for an adventurous outdoor kid. But I would absolutely always always want firm permission from the parent. Some people term knifes under the "weapon" catagory rather than the "tool" category (fine to have varied opinion) but I wouldn't want to make the decision for my friends.

[JellyBeanz77]

YANBU... what if the parents weren't so observant as to what was in the party bag and the child ends up taking it to school...

In Legislation, Section 139 of the Criminal Justice Act 1988 "prohibits having with you, in a public place of any article which has a blade or is sharply pointed, (including a folding pocket knife if the cutting edge of its blade exceeds 7.62cm/3 inches)

Section 139A of the 1988 Act extends the geographical scope of both of the above offences to school premises."

However, as the age of criminal responsibility in England and Wales is 10, the onus is on the parents.

Irresponsible to put a bladed article in a party bag. YANBU.

[Bobbysgirl1984]

I wouldn't give my 13 year old a sharp knife to use without an adult around. She is used to rabbiting, hunting and preparing game etc but a total clutz and irresponsible when not being kept an eye on. If someone had given her any kind of knife at that age I would probably have gone loopy!! It's a totally inappropriate gift for a party bag imho

[BattleaxeGalactica]

Back in the day we all had penknives from quite a young age. Even used to keep them in our school pencil cases and no-one batted an eyelid but times change and yes, the parents of the collectees should have been warned. On a similar note dh and mates used to routinely carry a sheath knife at scouts

[PansyGiraffe]

7 year old babies

Madness. My 93 month old is still breastfed - what would he do with a knife?

[ManOfKent]

It stupid, and I'd hope the party host would not have chosen such a gift or known it was in there.
I went to France on a school trip aged 11 and bought a small sheath knife - shorter than your average table knife. We lived in the country and were well versed with knives, air rifles and so on, but I still managed to stab myself deep in my right calf! I felt too embarrassed to tell anyone, so went home with blood all down my leg and in my shoe. I should have had stitches.
The point is I was 11, four years older than this lad. It's stupid to give anyone an item that they can't legally buy themselves in ANY present.
What are you expecting next year ....20 Benson and Hedges?

[spamm]

For me, knives are like guns, lighters, etc... - things that parents get to decide and set limits on, especially at that young an age. Not for party bags and not for gifts, unless agreed with the parents. My son got his first knife from us when we was about 7, for cub scouts. We gave him a zippo lighter for his 12 birthday, again for scouts and camping - he is so proud of it. We are also the ones who take the responsibility of making sure he is responsible and knows the rules and how to obey them. I have a very serious and responsible child, who takes these things very seriously. But it would never occur to me to give one to another kid without their parents' involvement.

[Jessikita]

I think it's a brilliant idea. I'm a country bumpkin and a penknife was very useful from a young age.

I would have just mentioned it to the parent as I handed it to the child though.

[OlennasWimple]

Must go and tell my 7yo she is a baby..... She'd be more indignant at that description than me!

You should have been warned that there was a knife in the bag

[frozenfairy123]

I'm sorry but kids should not be given a knife full stop. Letting your own child use one under supervision knowing their capabilities is one thing but giving to another child is not responsible at all. X

[ryoungo1]

I totally agree! Our children all used proper scissors from the age of 2 and bushcraft knives from 4 with supervision. Our 8 year old and 11 year old are perfectly capable of whittling their own spoons with minimal supervision and haven't cut anything off yet! Our 5yo uses a proper knife and lights fires with fire steels with us watching. It would have been prudent to let parents know beforehand, though as it is a more unusual gift bag present and can cause harm for those who haven't been taught basic safety rules. I'd be chuffed if any of our guys got a proper pen knife in a party bag instead of those limitless naf plastif toys that generally end up coming home and getting chewed by the dogs! 😂

[Wills]

Hi,
Would this party have been somewhere in East Kent because if so my dd DIDNT come home with a penknife - are you positive the child just didn't pocket it as an interesting looking thing and then said it was in the party bag