To think playing with a dead bird is wrong?

[plaintomatopasta]

So a bit of back story. I'm a teacher and was sent outside to cover a boys pe lesson. They're 14/15yr old and in mainstream education but the bottom set. Whilst outside we were playing a game of softball and the ball went wide so one ran after it and came back with a massive dead seagull. He then proceeded to kick it, chase other students with it and stab a pen through its head.

I shouted at him and tried to get him to leave it alone but he ignored me. I was the only teacher out there and none of the other boys are really trustworthy enough to go get a teacher. They all found it hilarious and encouraged him! I just ended up sending the entire group inside again back to the changing rooms whilst I got the deputy head and he dealt with them.

After the lesson I was really upset and I thought it was really sick and wrong that they found it hilarious. Not a single other teacher or anyone I've spoken to about it saw a problem and generally said "boys will be boys".

AIBU and a bit weird. I actually cried!

[Tinkerbec]

Loads! I work in a very difficult school.

We would probably get in trouble for not reporting it to be honest.

He stuck a pen through its head. It is concerning. I can't believe other people think not.

[BarbarianMum]

Disrespectful? As opposed to what? Giving it a funeral? Stewing it with onions?

Is running over roadkill repeatedly disrespectful? What about wearing leather shoes?

I think battery farming chickens is disrespectful and cruel but millions are ok with it.

[bookwormnerd]

Its horrible and would have upset me to. It shows a real lack of respect for other living beings (yes I know dead but it is a lack of respect to the birds body) I'm vegetarian so stuff like that sickens me anyway. Its a sence of entitlement that the bird should be afforded less respect than another human. It says a lot about their character and should not be brushed off as boys being boys. My son will certainly be bought up to respect other living creatures. What they did was disgusting as well due to it was dead and germy. I see it as different to eating meat

[plaintomatopasta]

I don't think it's a sign of something sinister and I know some boys find things funny when they're really not but I do think it's weird and disrespectful. I don't junk they should have to talk to the CPO or have anything written on their permanent record or even get in serious trouble like exclusion or isolation. I do agree with some on here though that maybe saying sorry might be the fitting consequence and having someone explain that it's something others like me would find upsetting and in a school, a faith school at that, more respect is needed.

Thank you all for your input. It's given some perspective on the matter I didn't have before because I thought I was being the odd one out thinking it wasn't right.

[Midnightprobs]

In your position (not sure if you are allowed) but I'd want a mobile phone on me. That way, you could have called for help without even moving.

Anyway disgusting behaviour. Someone who sticks a biro through the head of a dead bird is fucked in the head imo. Chasing other students with a dead animal, again fucked in the head and a bully to boot.

I'd expect a dentention and an essay covering the risks of playing with dead birds, respect for others and having some self control. Never going to happen though. A school's lack of power to enforce sanctions for this sort of stuff is what is breaking our education system. I have a friend who quit state teaching after being powerless to address disgusting behaviour which prevented teaching of the students who wanted to learn and valued their education. Everyone loses.

[plaintomatopasta]

@midnight I expect the deputy head will have gone in and he'll have just had a word with them and taken it no further. Teaching is harder now than when I started in 2007. There's a lot less in the way of consequences for the students and I know a lot of parents blame the teachers for behaviour and a lot of teachers blame the parents. I don't do either tbf. My sister, brother and I all grew up in the same house with the same parents. Us girls are eldest and youngest and we went through school without a detention. My brother however was horrible and wouldn't listen to a hung teachers said, didn't do much work and once stole my mums car. Parenting doesn't always help the choices teenagers make and sometimes teachers can't either.

[Blahblahblahdyblah]

I would've had exactly the same reaction as you, actually. Would've found it upsetting and disgusting that a person could treat a dead animal in such a way for fun.

When I was in primary school, a boy found a dead cat in a bag and kicked it around, swung it around and generally played with it. It was a BIG deal. He got in a lot of trouble, and so did the other boys who were there egging him on. I felt ill at just the thought of it and never viewed those boys in the same way again.

[SoloDance]

What has them being in the bottom set got to do with it?

[YoureAllABunchOfBastards]

Fellow teacher - teenage boys can be right bastards, especially in a big group.

Mind you, a couple of mine found a dying sparrow and got very concerned - I scooped it up in a box and took to a quiet part of the grounds to recover die in peace and they went to check on it at dinner time. I've also had a group of 20 standing round a dead mouse wondering what to do with it.

[plaintomatopasta]

@solodance because in our school bottom set are the mixed group of kids that aren't allowed in the other groups because they're disruptive to the other students.

[plaintomatopasta]

@solodance our sets are based on target grades and behaviour points. You can be an A student but if you have hundreds of behaviour points against your name you're in the bottom set cause it's a smaller group. It's not an ability group.

[ineedwine99]

Totally sick. Sorry you had to deal with it OP

[plaintomatopasta]

Just to let everyone know it was last lesson and I didn't cry in front of them. I scurried off to the English dept office and had a little cry with the dusty books. I then went home and had some wine and calmed down. It was still upsetting and it does still bother me but I'm not going to let it spoil how much I love school. I'm not going to treat them any different because of it but I might look at them differently and if they want any special favours I'll think twice. No stickers for you boys!

[Kalizahara]

I don't know, I find some people principles odd.

I know someone who will only buy free range chicken, lectures me about where I source my meat, yet she's happy to eat KFC and what's more, buys all her clothes from shops with very poor ethics.

I actually think that the boys involved should have been in more trouble, it ISN'T acceptable behaviour in school, they ignored a member of staff, other children's health and safety was put at risk.

But, it doesn't really shock me, groups of teenagers can be very horrible. I can remember a teenage boy I knew throwing a brick on a frog and crushing it for no reason other than showing off.

[plaintomatopasta]

@kalizahara I know it's difficult. If it was in the park I'd probably be less bothered because it wouldn't have been my responsibility and I'd not have had anyone else's reaction. This was in school though when they should have listened when I asked them to stop, should have known it wouldn't be acceptable and there should have been respect for me as a member of staff. I make a point of treating them all with respect in lessons. I don't shout, I don't make them do anything I wouldn't do myself and if they are honest with me about not doing work etc I use discretion as to my response. I HAD to raise my voice to cover the distance they were and made sure when they came near me I tried calmly explaining to them that I wanted them to stop. Their disrespect upset me. The lack of surprise from other teachers and the way my DM laughed and said it was practice for when my own children do it wasn't nice either.

[Zafodbeeblbrox10]

I think it is fairly normal behaviour for young boys, who perhaps have not been shown how to respect life. It seems like morbid curiosity mixed with oneupmanship in a group setting. Hopefully they will learn empathy and respect, and how to conduct themselves in civilised society.

[AtomHeart]

I think killing animals and eating them is far worse. This was a body with no life in it - a shell.

[plaintomatopasta]

After I'm dead I wouldn't like to think it was ok to kick me about and stab things through my head... unless I died from zombie attack and then it would be necessary!

[AtomHeart]

Presumably, though, you can sanction them for ignoring and disobeying you? I think it is a horrid thing to do but I also think that butchering animals to eat is a lot worse.

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

I'm with you OP that is weird and disturbing behaviour. Fair enough looking at and examining, even autopsying a dead animal, but to do what they did is not normal.

[Pigface1]

YANBU at all. That's a really disgusting, weird and extremely unsanitary thing to do, and when you asked them to stop they didn't.

Also, I think a teacher using the phrase 'boys will be boys' in 2017 is disgraceful.

[AtomHeart]

I just told the story to my 15 year old who would never read Michael Murpurgo books because he said they were too sad and they upset them. He thought the seagull incident was weird behaviour but he did laugh, especially about being chased with a dead seagull.He thought kicking it and stabbing it through the eye was a bit much and that picking it up was gross. However, I suspect had he been there, he would have been laughing too.

[plaintomatopasta]

Again thank you for the opinions and thoughts. I'm actually vegetarian so don't eat animals myself (or have dairy) just because I don't agree with it on different levels.

Yes I can sanction them but issuing things like detention don't usually work well because they don't turn up most of the time!

[plaintomatopasta]

@atomheart 😂 I'm clearly a bit over sensitive 😂 thanks for asking him though. It's probably normal and I was just being a big baby about it in that case. I'm sure if a teacher told your son to stop though he would have done.

[AtomHeart]

I think he would stop laughing if told to but, as you say, these boys are the disruptive types who perhaps find it more difficult to control themselves. It was probably pack behaviour and as it was the end of the day, they were probably easily excited. Sounds like the school you are in might have a wider discipline problem.