Keeping toddlers away from newborns

[Whenwillwe3meetagain]

Is this something I should consider when DC 2 comes along? DD1 is at nursery so there won't be a lot I can do about what she brings home in terms of germs.
But a friend with a new baby is keeping friends with toddlers away despite having one of her own who is at nursery. I was planning to be out and about a lot with the baby and toddler and see lots of friends in part to keep myself sane. Should I rethink the first few months?

[Increasinglymiddleaged]

I doubt I will be popular for saying it whether you breastfeed or not.

Tbh from the people I know I've never noticed a difference. In some ways if you don't bf it can be easier to keep the baby and sick child separate. But bf'ing is I'm sure better if it works out well for you,
but not all ff babies pick up germs/ get sick all the time.

[user1andonly]

Hi Alex congrats on your new arrival.

It sounds pretty normal to me (although it's a long time since mine were tiny!) It's not unusual for newborns to sleep a lot in the first few days, lull you into a false sense of security and then wake up! Often when they are feeding a lot, it is to build up the mum's milk supply so it's best to let him feed as much as he wants. If I could go back in time to when my first born was tiny, I would spend most of my time in bed or on the sofa with him and let everything else slide for a while.

I would suggest your wife get some good quality probiotics to take once she finishes the antibiotics. A health food shop should be able to suggest some. This will help to replenish the good gut bacteria for both of them.

(You'll probably get more replies if you start a new thread with your question as people might not be checking this one so much)

[AlexLouisa01]

My wife had a c section 9 days ago and has an infection in her wound. She has been given a course of flucloxacillin for a week to combat the infection. Our son has since become very difficult, constantly feeding for two to three hrs at a time, avoiding sleeping or just sleeping for 20 min and then wants fed again. Is this normal or could the drugs have something to do with it?

[user1andonly]

Yanbu but neither is she really. Either she's being a bit too overprotective or she's using the germs as an excuse to avoid having extra toddlers in her house! It's up to her but I think she'll be going stir crazy before too long!

It's fine to carry on with whatever you are doing, although I do remember almost having a heart attack when one of my dear friend's very lively two year old twins managed to pick up my newborn when I was distracted for a nanosecond. No harm done but I made good use of slings and carseats from then on. Also once spent a very long time 'breastfeeding' (baby had been asleep for ages!) at an NCT group because another friend's four year old was desperate to hold her and I just didn't feel comfortable - that particular four year old was sweet and gentle but there were lots of other dc lurching around and if I'd let one I would have had to let them all have a 'go' - I let her hold her very briefly right before we left.

[PolarBearGoingSomewhere]

Sunshine my DD3 had viral meningitis, probably caused by a cold that DD1 had. She was absolutely fine afterwards but it was scary. You can't limit it totally with older siblings but I do feel guilty as we'd been at soft play a couple of days before. I don't know what I'd do if we had another baby - perhaps limit visitors for the first couple of weeks. I felt so euphoric we mingled with loads of people those first few days!

[Sunshineandlaughter]

My baby was exclusively breastfed too - didn't help her!

[captainproton]

I think it depends on multiple factors. What viruses are going around at nursery, baby's general health, and I doubt I will be popular for saying it whether you breastfeed or not.

I didn't breastfeed exclusively with my first but I did with the second. Thankfully this meant when he caught hand, foot and mouth from the 15 month old at 2 monThs he had only a mild version. Also when we all got sickness bug my youngest threw up once and was otherwise ok. The doctor did say this was because she was breastfeeding. So if you are formula feeding I think you need to be aware they have very poor immunity in early months.

My friends baby has cystic fibrosis and I purposely choose to quarantine my sick kids from playgroups so as not pass him a cold. But I know not everyone does, he has been in hospital 10 times in 18 months, and I'd hate the reason to be one of my germ monsters coughing on him.

I think you have to be vigilant but carry on as normal. Lots of hand washing and not being allowed to cough on the baby.

[Increasinglymiddleaged]

I think that while the case above is awful, most colds in tiny babies are just colds. People of any age can have nasty side effects from colds - I know a 7yo child who ended up in ICU with pneumonia so it isn't just babies.

I think you just need to be sensible and carry on as close to normal as possible personally.

[Want2bSupermum]

I kept the baby away from older children both times. Dropping kids off at school, baby was in a carrier with a cloth over the top. Teachers were very strict about none of the kids touching the baby.

[crazywriter]

I took mine to toddler groups from a couple of weeks old. I didn't even consider anything different. DD1 was 3.5 when DD2 was born so a little older but we never kept her away. We encouraged her to get used to her a ltitle sister.

[Sunshineandlaughter]

Yes she's a fairly normal baby now and developing well thanks - amazing care from the NHS for children

[Ecureuil]

Yes, understandable Sunshineandlaughter. Hope your DD is doing ok now.

[Sunshineandlaughter]

So yes I can see what you are saying it's pretty hard with a sibling but you can limit it by not going to loads of playgroups/soft play etc.

[Sunshineandlaughter]

If you can avoid contact with snotty nosed friends children's i def would - just for the first month when they are so super vulnerable

[Sunshineandlaughter]

Sorry I should have said other children. Sibling you can't avoid but I do wish I'd have sent her to her grans or something for a week as I knew she had a cold (ahd it was only a cold in her) - like you we have no family help nearby but even the inconvenience of this would have been better than a 3 week hospital stay with a baby on life support and multiple organ damage.

[Ecureuil]

My daughter nearly died so I would definitely keep any future babies away from older children for at least the first month or so

I'm really sorry your daughter was so poorly. I'm interested as to how you would keep a future baby away from older siblings?
DD1 was 20 months old when DD2 was born. I'd been a sort of SAHM since DD1 was born so had no childcare, no family nearby etc. I couldn't possibly have kept them away from each other.

[user1491633315]

This may be a shocker but I have 5 kids, eldest is 16 and he does not have any social media at all, or even a smart phone....though he is wanting one now so he is saving up for that. I havent influenced him deliberately, though my husband and I dont use it so perhaps he sees us having healthy social lives without the need for any of it . He is not at all interested and thinks that friends worth having are not going to drop off the face of the planet if he doesnt have regular contact with them via social media. I have to say it is a relief, and also makes it easier with the younger ones because they cant say He had it so I should too. Though Ill have to see how they feel about it all as they grow up and deal with them individually. Of course social media is part of our childrens culture (bye bye Bagpuss and spangles!) but I feel that the longer they go without it, the longer they and we have to fill their lives with many healthy hobbies and habits that will ultimately stand them in better stead for the future and help them to manage and moderate their online activities by themselves. I see that with my son. His time is filled with really varied things. My younger children dont use the computer. My husband works from home so they see it as a work thing for now which suits us fine and they dont even question it. I dont think its wrong to allow social media or computers but it just isnt really a feature in our lives for now. That may change, and of course the 16 year old uses computers for school and other things, just not face book or instagram etc. He loves photography but maybe doesnt feel the need to share it with everyone. He isnt perfect so I hope I havent painted that picture! But he is an interesting boy with lots of hobbies that just dont happen to involve social media.

[Crochetty]

Oops... that wasn't v clear... it was the toddler that my friend wanted to bring round who had been vomiting not newborn DC2!

[Crochetty]

Yee gads we just carried on as normal.... DC1 off to playgroup as usual and all of us to the Toddler group when DC2 was a week old... that said I did draw the line at toddler visiting when DC2 was less than a week old and had been vomiting the day before... big, big row with friend over that... and she was medically trained too... My midwife, DH and DM all had my back though. It's all a matter of common sense really IMO

[spinassienne]

You're alright ginliness, toto is Swahili for kid

[Sunshineandlaughter]

Gosh it's up to you but I will say my newborn got seriously ill with viral myocarditis we think from a virus passed on by her older sibling just after she was born. Some viruses can cause colds in older children but by life threatening in a newborn. My daughter nearly died so I would definitely keep any future babies away from older children for at least the first month or so.

[Mrsknackered]

I had a 3 year old when the second was born and my partner was denied paternity leave, so we were constantly bundled all together and a lot of people came over (with small children) to see the baby.
He did become very ill just after a month old - and the doctor did reassure me that it wasn't because I exposed him to germs!
Baby will be fine. Maybe just avoid snotty kisses!

[PinkHeart59156816]

No they are siblings and need to learn to be together. Having another baby is a big thing for the child you already have so I think to keep them apart will just cause problems anyway.

My 2 dc are just 11 months apart and they have never been kept apart, we explained to ds that dd is small so he has to be gentle with her ok he was probably too small to understand that but his never caused dd any harm worst his done was tried giving her his water bottle when she was a few days old.
We let ds "help" feed dd, once I expressed milk he touched the bottle near the end of feed.
He was encouraged to sit on dd playmat with her and could stroke her tummy, they are 19 months and 8 months now and he still sits stroking dd tummy.