To not want to disclose a further reason

[SquarePegRoundHole]

.... for requesting change of day of hospital appointment.

Consultant referred me to another department for tests. Received an automated phone call asking if I could attend on a particular day. Press 1 for yes, press 2 for no. I pressed 2. The automated service then said it wasn't actually cancelled and I would need to ring the number on my letter.

The said letter arrived 2 days later detailing the appointment which I had already said I could not attend. I rang the number on the letter and I spoke to a real person.

I said I was unable to attend that day and could I please have another appointment. I was asked what the reason was I could not attend. I said I was unable to get there that day. This led to being asked a further 2 times.

The operative then stated I will cancel it but I can't make you another one as the person whose job that it is isn't here. He sounded stroppy. I let it go, said ok and bye etc.

9:00 am this morning same person telephoned me and reiterated that I had cancelled an appointment and was I sure that I could not make it. Yes I said I was sure. He said there wasn't any other appointments available for the foreseeable further so was I SURE I could not attend. WTAF.

I remained calm and unruffled and said I was a 'fellow professional' and be assured if I could attend on said day I would but I couldn't. They then offered me 1 of 3 other appointment times/days.

I'm perturbed on several levels. Their continual need to keep asking why I was unable attend, asking me on two separate occasions several times 'if I was sure I was unable to attend', them with holding appointments and brow beating me to attend etc.

AIBU or where they?

[BadKnee]

You were told YWBU. You chose to attack the posters as being a nest of vipers and stupid rather than accept it.

You were told that your "fellow professional" attempt to be superior was badly judged and yet you persist in believing that a "professional" is more ethical, truthful and reasonable than someone who works in a supermarket or a garage or not at all. (Really??)

You were asked if you were sure. I have tried to change an appointment due to work commitments and when told I would have to go back to the bottom of the list and wait another 12-18 months decided work would have to suffer as actually 12-18 months was a long time! - I am not the only one who has done that I'll bet.

[BadKnee]

And if you were the person at the other end dealing with hundreds of people, a busy day, some people in distress and you got a "fellow professional" being unco-operative on the phone and all superior - you would still do your job - as this person did - but you might not come across as Miss Congeniality.

[SquarePegRoundHole]

Scottishdiem I can assure you that I was not seeking to rearrange my appointment to go shopping with friends. Like I said I did say right at the beginning that I was unable to attend due to not being able to get there. This is true. I did not lie. This hospital does not transport people to hospital for none urgent appointments who ordinarily can get there either by self transporting or lifts from family/friends.

Actually I do object to being asked several times over two days 'if I'm sure...'. Also I object to being lied too, spoken to as if I'm hard of hearing and not of sound mind and object being spoken to in a stroppy manner with sighs and slow exhales interjected in their response to me stating I was unable to get there on that day.

[SomethingBorrowed]

Ok, I might be really naive here, but if I need to rearrange an appt, why not give me another appointment and offer my initial one to someone who was supposed to get one later on?
People are waiting weeks if not months for appointments, so surely someone will be happy to gain X weeks by taking a canceled/rescheduled appt.

[ThisThingCalledLove]

Your Title says you didn't want to "disclose a further reason" and then you say "said I was unable to attend that day and could I please have another appointment. I was asked what the reason was I could not attend. I said I was unable to get there that day. This led to being asked a further 2 times."

So it read to me they asked you three times why you could not attend and you did not actually answer other than you were "unable to attend" so it's a bit rich to accuse me of posting "such rubbish" when I am going off what you have said yourself!

Personally I don't think it unreasonable at all that you were asked to confirm why you couldn't make a scheduled appointment you were presumably keen to make in the first place. Also your posting style comes across as quite aggressive, leading people to think you may have come across like this on the phone too, in addition to your OP being clear you wouldn't actually answer the question they were asking you.

I am disabled and often can't make appointments without a carer so I know it can be difficult, but on the very rare cases I cannot attend e.g. If I'm an inpatient at the time, I fully explain why out of politeness and I accept they need to know why and that I'm not actually wasting their time - there are so many DNAs that there are time wasters out there so I accept the rationale behind asking and don't get arsey about it.

[user1474371557]

I think perhaps you really irritated them by saying you were a fellow professional (I know you would me). Just a bye the bye I got a hospital appointment for a somewhat horrid medical procedure. It falls on my birthday and we had booked a weekend away. I would never dream of cancelling or asking for another appointment. The NHS is stretched to the limit so I think it is only fair that I cancel my plans so that I can attend.

OP: I don't hate Mondays and I am not having a go at you but the tome of your posts may be giving folk the wrong impression of you and the situation.The person on the end of the telephone has heard it all before and some people come over as more entitled as others. I am not saying that is what happened but you may have come across as aggressive to the person you were taking to. (as I said I wasn't there so don't know for sure)

[ThisThingCalledLove]

Melj1213 exactly. Saying "I can't get there" isn't answering their question - they want to know why you can't get there and I fully understand them asking this and don't find it intrusive, personally.

[ThisThingCalledLove]

Sorry, "in addition to your OP being clear" should read OP being unclear.

Yes, I am aware of the huge massive dollop of irony here

[littleducks]

I had similar recently.

I needed a gynae scan and was sent appointment. Huge deal made on appointment letter about not be able to be changed. I rang up and said I couldn't make it was very sorry but also worked for NHS had full clinic booked for that date so if took time off would have to be cancelled (no staffing capacity for someone else to run), could it possible be changed to a day of week I didn't work or be more than 3 weeks away.

It was changed but seemed very complicated to do. I was surprised as very different to trust in work in but prob only matter of time before it is implemented.

[crunchermuncher]

The appointment could be offered to another patient...but this takes up an employees time to organise (it can take hours to find and then actually get hold of another patient suitable for that clinic, that Dr, etc). Time which they could spend on other things. Time which costs the NHS money that then cant be spent on additional doctors or treatments. We all have a responsibility to use the NHS wisely and constantly rescheduling appointments as if they were a lunch date is not really doing this.

The reason you can pick and choose when to change your hair appointments etc without going into further details is that this faffing about by a member of the hairdresser's staff is factored into the cost of your haircut, which you personally are paying for. Completely different circumstances!

[SquarePegRoundHole]

Badknee My comment about being a fellow professional was not intended to gain preferential treatment, merely to try to convey that I was sure that I was unable to get there that day. It might not have been the best thing to say. However it was a last ditch attempt to stop the person on the other end of the phone speaking down to me in a very patronising manner. At no point was I inferring I was more truthful than workers from supermarkets etc. Although I did comment on this thread as a professional I adhere to my professional code of values & ethics.

In the letter I received offering the appointment it clearly states that if the appointment is not convienient to telephone so another appointment could be arranged. It isn't as if i dna ... then I could understand being preached to by posters about how precious appointments are. As it is the department have more than enough time to allocate the said appointment to someone else.

I said up thread that I was resigned that posters generally were thinking iwbu (even though I realised people were not fully understanding of the issue) This is ok.

[SquarePegRoundHole]

crunchemuncher where did I say I wanted to rearrange so that I could go to the hairdressers?

There is another hospital department where I also have frequent appointments. This department send a letter inviting patients to telephone in to arrange. This way appears to be more cost effective and efficient.

[beargrass]

OP your post highlights one of the many things wrong with the NHS...

It's all separate systems, with way too many people employed to do disparate tasks that should run end to end, but don't. Presumably designed by a management consultant who got paid a wedge then naffed off before the disaster of doing anything end to end was realised.

This leads to frustration for the NHS frontline staff and for patients. The middle bit is invisible, unaccountable, anonymous and beyond irritating to deal with, and costs us all in time and money/taxes.

[MackerelOfFact]

I agree the main issue was that 'I can't make it' is quite ambiguous.

It could mean 'I have other plans' or it could mean 'I have no transport' - if they had assumed you meant the former, it's fair enough for them to try and establish the nature of your plans and whether the onus should be on you to reschedule you other plans, or on the NHS to work round you.

Even if they'd understood you correctly and realised you had no transport, they'd still need to establish whether lack of transport was still going to be an issue for you attending the rescheduled appointment or if it was just a temporary problem.

Anyway, either way I think you've probably spent more time explaining your circumstances to MN than you did to the person on the phone, so can't really see why explaining in the first instance was such as issue...!

[SomethingBorrowed]

they want to know why you can't get there and I fully understand them asking this and don't find it intrusive, personally

I disagree. We are not school age children needing to justify ourselves.
I don't belive the NHS employee in charge of appointments has special skills allowing him to judge if my reason is worthy enough.

"I can't find childcare" could mean I can't be bothered to drop the kids off at my mum's or could mean I have literally no solution for childcare this day.
"I have a work commitment" could mean I have drinks after work that I want to attend, or could mean I have been told my boss that I need to attend a training which can't be rescheduled and might be disciplined if I don't.
...
Basically pnly the person rescheduling knows if their reasons are valid.

[SquarePegRoundHole]

User' my comment about being a fellow professional was a last ditch attempt to try to get the person on the other end of the phone talking down to me in a very patronising manner. This was said in my last conversation on the second day of being asked was I sure I could not get there on that day. I have already said it perhaps was not the best thing to say.

On hearing this comment, the person on the phone did immediately alter their tone to a more favourable one, offered multiple choices of alternative dates and ceased to sigh and exhale strongly. This itself is unreasonable. All patients should be spoken to politely. I was and continued to be polite throughout.

[SomethingBorrowed]

crunchermuncher
I understand your point.
To me the solution is in moving to an online booking system, where you have a choice between 2-3 appt in the first place, and where you can change appt slot yourself (and see slots becoming free).

Also if they stopped sending paper confirmation to everybody that would surely save a few pounds. At one hospital, I ask them every time not to send it, as I am writing it down as we make the booking, and every time I am told they can't.

[NinonDeLanclos]

Verbena37 As other posters have pointed out people turn down NHS appointments for all kinds of insignificant reasons and just assume they'll be given one at a more convenient time.

[SquarePegRoundHole]

Somethingborrowed Very true, i like your post, you speak sense.

[HateSummer]

What a faff. You could've just told them you have no transport and your dh is on nights or whatever. As "fellow professionals" they would've understood. You were being a bit arrogant weren't you eh?

[Sirzy]

Online system doesn't work for people who don't have access to internet or who aren't internet savvy though.

Even with a get a letter and phone up to book system often depending on the clinic options are pretty limited!

I don't think there is any perfect booking system, nor do I think the same system will work everywhere.

I agrranged an NHS appointment for ds via a series on emails last month but I wouldn't expect that for every department he sees as handy as it would be for me!

[SquarePegRoundHole]

No User' I wasn't aggressive on the phone. Neither do I feel I've been arregressive in my replies to posters on this thread. I havnt felt aggressive, perhaps frustrated. Apologies to anyone who feels I've been aggressive to them.

[PositivePeggyNans]

OH gosh I remember getting a right bollocking once.

I could not get the time off work to attend a hospital appointment and the receptionist spoke to me like I was a five year old telling me my health was more important.

I ended uptelling her it wasn't my fault I had a wanker of a boss

[NotCitrus]

It does help if they can tell you the consequences of rescheduling.
I finally got a date for ds's ASD assessment. The same afternoon that his class was meeting their new teacher and having handover for the next school year, which is a transition the SENCO and I were worried about.

So I called to rearrange, as missing this session (unmoveable as the whole school do it at the same time) was going to be a bad idea.

Nice chap on the phone said "well you could cancel, but we have no other appointments atm in the block running until the end of July, and we have no idea if we will have any funding from September for anything - we certainly don't for August. So you might not get an appt in the next few years unless someone else has to cancel."
So school finished a bit early, we got there slightly late, and it went OK.

I have quite a few appts - sometimes there are ones that can be easily rearranged which is great, some can't, but the difficulty needs to be made clear from both sides.