To put DS into his cot

[YouJumpIJumpJack]

My DS is 20 weeks and can now roll onto his front completely (as of last night) and sit up unaided for a few minutes. He's also a big baby and he's completely grown out of his basket.

I've decided it's no longer safe to have him sleep in his basket as the poor thing has no room and he could potentially tip it. But I have a small bedroom and there's no way I could fit a cot or anything bigger than a basket in there.

So the past few nights he's been sleeping in his cot in the nursery (right next to my room). I have a monitor, he goes into a sleeping bag and there's nothing else in his cot except a mesh bumper.

It's not the ideal situation but I've done everything I can to make it safer. But I just had my HV round and she was not keen on it at all (I know they have to stick to the 6m guideline) and told me he needs to go back into his basket.

WWYD? I just can't see another way around it.

[Derlei]

Sorry should add that the cot was at the end of our bed (now moved to his room)

[Derlei]

My DS has slept in his cot from 7 days old! He hated his Moses basket, he's rather tall for a baby and I think he felt stifled.

[SuperBeagle]

Mine have all slept in a cot in their own room from birth. My youngest is 5 weeks old. Doors open, monitor on, nothing obstructive in the cot etc. and they're fine.

If your child has breathing issues, that's different of course, but I'd hasten a guess that they'll be at equal risk regardless of where they sleep.

[contractor6]

How big is your house, if room next to yours leave doors open between you. The issue is partly so that they don't go into a very deep sleep as they can hear you.

[girlelephant]

In my area you seen your HV when DC is 4/5 months as they visit about weaning and to drop off home safety booklets

[fatmummy87]

I haven't even seen my HV since my son was newborn. They don't need to know all these details tbh.
It sounds far safer for the baby to be in a cot than basket, even if that cot is in another room.

[NerrSnerr]

I would take a look at the lullaby trust website, they have a lot of information including their evidence base. I have had family experience of SIDS so go by the guidelines as strictly as possible so would probably put a blow up bed by the cot. I would read up on the risks/ stats so you can make an informed choice. For me I am hugely anxious about sleep and worry that the worst will happen when I haven't followed the guidelines and would have the 'what ifs?'

[StarryIllusion]

Mine were in their own room from 8 weeks. They're fine. Both doors open and a Video Monitor.

I can't even sleep with my DP in the room. I shout and talk and sing and occasionally fling things violently across the room in my sleep so DC wouldn't be getting any sleep either.

[Somehowsomewhere]

I never told my HV anything! Although to be fair we had a six week check then nothing until a 12 month check, is that not standard? Do others have more appointments?
Anyway... it's all about risk. The risk of him tipping the Moses basket is higher than the risk of anything happening as a result of him going in his own room a couple of weeks early.
Mine were in our room until 7-8 months ish but only because they still fed every 1-2 hours overnight and there's no way I was traipsing down the hall to sit in a cold nursing chair to feed!

[fruityb]

I haven't seen HV since 8 week check! Should I have seen her again??

[ZigZagIntoTheBlue]

My oldest went into his own room at 6 weeks, we all slept better for it. He too was big and just outgrew the moses basket. I just didn't tell the hv!

[SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower]

Just to say about the angelcare monitor mentioned by Whatthefreak. They are invaluable if you have a child with breathing issues. It saved my baby, and my friends as well. In both cases they had stopped breathing, the alarm sounded, and we were able to get to them in time. They both had breathing problems though.

[RocketPockets]

Co sleeping can be very safe if you follow the guidelines for it. My DS went into his own room in his cot at about 4 months for the same reasons as you. my HV only suggestion was to buy a smaller cot which I couldn't afford! We got a video monitor even though his room is right beside ours and I can hear him roll over

[YouJumpIJumpJack]

hedgeh0g I asked if she thought it'd be safer for us to co sleep bit she said that's worse in that he wouldn't be able to get himself out of danger if a pillow covered his face etc. (I didn't mention that he often sleeps in with us anyway).

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

In your situation OP I would take the very small risk associated with the baby being in a different room from you a few weeks earlier than the guidelines suggest rather than the much more real risk of a large active baby tipping out of the basket.

The advice is that babies should sleep in the same room for the first 6 months but there's nothing magic that happens on the stroke of midnight of the 26th week - the risks decline as they get older.

Mine was in my room for the first 6 months but was left upstairs alone for the first couple of hours each night from about 4 months as we settled him in his crib sometime before we went to bed ourselves.

[Hedgeh0g]

Your HV sounds a bit silly. Did she have any practical suggestions other than putting him in his basket, which clearly isn't safe? I spoke to mine about putting my son in his own room at around 4.5/5 months because he was waking up hourly. She said about the guidelines but that it's all about risk - she said if we had none of the other risk factors and felt it would help me get some sleep and avoid losing the plot to go ahead. If I was a smoker, for example, she would have no doubt have advised differently.

[Whatthefreakinwhatnow]

Niseko it's not the cot that's the issue, it's not sleeping with you.

SIDS is still largely unexplained but babies sleeping where others are is thought to greatly reduce the risk because it "reminds" your baby to breathe.

With DD2 I had an angelcare monitor, but then read with SIDS, by the time the alarm sounds your baby is already gone, there is no time for resuscitation etc So she stayed in with us until she was 12 months, in a cot from 3 as she was too big for her basket.

DC3 is 8 weeks old and will be with us until 12 months too.

I think if I were the Op if baby couldn't fit in with me, if sleep in with them but that's just my choice, it's not for everyone.

[BeyondThePage]

crikey things have changed - ours went into their cot in own room (their door open, our door open - cot 7 feet from our bed, closer than in some bedrooms!) - from 3 DAYS not 5 months.

NO-ONE can advise you to go against current guidelines, but you do what you need to depending on the space and resources available. If you don't think what the guidelines say is safe for your personal situation, you need to find a workaround that is.

[YouJumpIJumpJack]

Thanks everyone, was just having a moment there. I'll keep things as they are, he's happy and I'm happy.

Just confirmed what I was thinking

[ToffeeForEveryone]

Any chance of you sleeping in the room with the cot?

Take everything a HV says with a large pinch of salt ... If your baby could conceivably tip over the basket then the cot is obviously a safer option.

Or buy another basket / crib that fits in your room - but that's expensive for a few weeks use.

[Doje]

Ooops, sorry, just read the bit about your room being small...

[SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower]

btw - mine couldn't roll, crawl or sit up until 10 months old at least (delayed) but somehow managed to push up on his front arms and get himself out of the cot (on the highest setting). Luckily a low one so wasn't much of a fall!

[DearMrDilkington]

Carry on as you are. It's much more dangerous for him to be in a Moses basket when his that active.

[NisekoWhistler]

So the HV is saying a baby shouldn't go in his/he's cot until 6 months?
Really I never knew this and put my baby in at cot at 13 weeks

[JaxingJump]

20 weeks is fine. It's up to you. Guidelines are just guides, not laws.