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AIBU?

To be shocked at casual open racism

119 replies

WanderingFairy · 08/02/2017 19:31

Our having quiet dinner and some precious me time whilst DH spends bonding evening with DS. Greying couple in their 60s sitting next to me discussing all sorts of topics. Elderly gentleman makes casual disparaging comment about Muslims then brushes it over and starts talking about something else.

I'm shocked and saddened that racism is so acceptable and commonplace now. All muslims are evil, backwards etc and it's fine to make sweeping statements about an entire community. Has it come to this that we are so openly hostile and hateful?

OP posts:

Report

OopsDearyMe · 08/02/2017 22:03

Tbh I prefer them to be honest and not hide their prejudice because its trendy not to say things. If you genuinely hold a belief bigoted or not at least be open and stand by it. I am in no way saying the should act on it or treat others disrespectfully about it.

Allthebestnamesareused · 08/02/2017 22:08

Between4and30. - you will note I purposely stated SOME brexit leavers. Living in East Anglia as I do there was a very big Polish\East European backlash at the back end of June/early July. Racist notes left sayibg F* off now Polish scum etc. I do believe because the leave vote won the people who voted leave thinking it would mean immigrants would have to go used the result to voice openly in a normalised way what they had kept to themselves previously. I also know that some people vited leave for entirely different reasons. You appear to have missed my point

Allthebestnamesareused · 08/02/2017 22:16

PigletwasPoohsfrienf - yes I know that SOME leave voters and SOME Trump voters did vote in the way they did because of the racist views they hold. That is why I emphasised the "some" in both cases.

I live in East Anglia where many people voted leave and cited getting rid of the East Europeans as their reasons and having lived in Ohio and my parents still leaving there have seen all sorts of racist and bigoted nonsense posted on social media by people I went to school with there.

If you care to reread my original post in full you will see that I will always call anyone out on anything they post like this.

I am sure therr are racist Clinton supporters and remainers too if thst makes you feel better

BadKnee · 08/02/2017 22:26

PigletWasPoohsFriend - You know how they voted and that they are Trump supporters then? Wow. - I know - I was amazed too!! The OP specifically mentions that they are grey haired and elderly as well !!!

Obviously racism only comes from grey haired elderly couples.

(Has OP ever heard a racist remark from another race or nationality I wonder? And if she heard it I wonder if she would post about it in such self-righteous terms)

This doesn't help the situation. Not at all.

BadKnee · 08/02/2017 22:34

Oh and you are debating the issue with strangers - just ones that you think will agree with you and tell you how marvellous you are for posting on your phone that you heard someone say something bad.

Racism needs challenging, minds need changing, there are far more effective ways of tackling this than a chat forum

I think you need to change your restaurant if it is full of elderly bigots! Doesn't sound fun at all! If I were you I'd be off to somewhere a bit more sophisticated!

80schild · 08/02/2017 22:36

I imagine there are far fewer racist Clinton supporters given that she is fairly liberal herself. There will always be racism, the only thing that changes is the target. At the moment it is Muslim people. One thing I notice about myself, is that although I say I'm not racist (or anythingist) - I clearly am. When I look at my friends we are all white (two black friends), Jewish/Christian roots, affluent. I would never want to see anyone hurt but I question why I have gravitated towards these people. Equally, at the school my kids go to, it seems to be a case of people with similar backgrounds/beliefs tend to be friends. Maybe we all harbour an inner racist.

diamondsforapril · 08/02/2017 22:39

I don't think that is racism.

Allthebestnamesareused · 08/02/2017 22:45

Badknee - it wasn't the OP mentioning SOME leavers and SOME Trump supporters but me.

This comment was made on the basis of remarks made in my area East Anglia and by a number of people I know living in Ohio who are Trump supporters. (Over 40 on my FB Feed) I specifically emphasised the SOME because I appreciate it is not ALL leavers or ALL Trump supporters. The resson I even mentioned them as part of those specific categories is because I do believe that some of the normalisation of casual racism has come about, in my opinion, because the results of the votes (here and in the US) makes thrm feel comfortable in voicing their view because they believe (wrongly) thst the people voting the same way as them eg. Majority votes hold the same views tgerefore its ok to say it now.

I obviously haven't expressed my points very articulately if people have misunderstood me. It was in no way an attempt to stir ip anti Brexit feeling just an attempt to explain why there appears to be an increase in casual racism. I safly think it is just an increase in people feeling comfortable to voice it agsin - a la the eatly 70s.

I will call out anyone saying snything racist or bigoted on my social media or in person whichever way they voted! I hope that has clarified things.

Allthebestnamesareused · 08/02/2017 22:47

And I apologise for stubby fingers on an iphone typos but hope its still readable.

diamondsforapril · 08/02/2017 22:49

I do think there is a perception that racism was confined to the dregs of society until the end of June 2016, at which point the floodgates opened, and it became acceptable and even encouraged to be openly racist.

To be honest I don't think this is the case, but even if it was, people's attitudes did not change overnight.

BertrandRussell · 08/02/2017 22:51

Any reason why their age and hair colour was relevant?

fakenamefornow · 08/02/2017 22:54

2 minutes for a reply mentioning Brexit. Good to see you're really concerned about fighting racism allthebest and not just wanting to stoke up a bit more anti-leaver hatred

All the racists I know DID vote leave. And yes, I do know how they voted, or at least how they said they voted.

BadKnee · 08/02/2017 22:58

Allthebestnamesareused - I know it wasn't the OP who made the Brexit statement - sorry my post wasn't clear; I commented on Piglet's response to your post and mentioned the OP's comment on hair and age in the next sentence . Admit though on re-reading it was confusing.

Probably a bit late for me and I should go to bed - (am working with a couple of Germans tomorrow - . Wonder if either of them has grey hair?? )

Allthebestnamesareused · 08/02/2017 23:01

Is it ok to say a la Basil Fawlty don't mention the war?! . I'll run to take cover!

BadKnee · 08/02/2017 23:04

fakenamefornow - what you mean is that all the white British racists that you know voted leave. Or did all the non-white racists that you know vote Leave as well? Or do you not know many non white British racists??

What did the British Muslims that you know vote?

What if I don't know any racists? Does that make me better?? Or worse??

Can you not see this game for what it is?

I'm off to bed so that I can be fresh and bright for my non-racist job in the morning!

BadKnee · 08/02/2017 23:05

Allthebestnamesareused - just seen this! - Made me laugh - thx

downwardfacingdog · 08/02/2017 23:13

Yabu for describing someone in their 60s as elderly! My gran is 86 and elderly. My parents are in their 60s and most definitely not. Casual racism is disgusting, but not shocking. Sadly I hear it all the time (not from my parents)

ConfusedCod · 08/02/2017 23:15

My aunt always talks like this. We tend to put up with her because of her ill health and my fm loves her but..

Going to get a 'chinky'

We also have a 'paki land' and numerous 'paki shops'

She believes that all muzzies should leave the country unless they want to convert to Christianity and 'be a bit more british'.

Loves the eu though. Extremely verbal remain voter.

No idea what her views on trump are, she's never mentioned him.

stickygotstuck · 08/02/2017 23:23

People haven't changed since last June. It's only that the country was never as open minded and inclusive as many thought/would have liked to believe. I can see how finding out it was all a facade could come as a shock to them.

ConfusedCod · 08/02/2017 23:26

Agreed.

Aunt has been like this for the last few decades. No one seems that shocked/bothered by the way she speaks either.

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 09/02/2017 00:17

Open minded and inclusive? Don't see many of you being open minded and inclusive of any opinion that differs from your own.

Are all 'elderly' people racist then? Hmm, seems like you're lumping all people with shared characteristics into one homogeneous mass? Irony, no?

Some elderly people will make rascist comments. When they say their lives were better when their area was predominantly white, perhaps they are telling their truth from their own perspective. Not every person benefits from immigration. Elderly people seeing their home town change beyond recognition are not going to focus on how "enriched" their lives are now. Especially not if they feel isolated or afraid. Some understanding wouldn't go amiss. How about some open-mindedness and inclusion for this section of society who feel lost, confused and helpless? Who feel like they no longer belong or recognise their home. Or shall we just silence their concerns, scream 'rascist' in their faces and concentrate on the isolated and afraid immigrants only?

Sometimes the hypocrisy of 'liberal' thinkers astounds me.

FlyMeToTheMoonLiterally · 09/02/2017 00:35

I think it's a long process, fear in the air after terrorist attacks, politicians pick up on it and play up to it like Farage, Brexit gives racists a voice (I'm NOT saying that everyone who voted for Brexit was racist by ANY MEANS just that it allowed those who were to feel justified).

And now we are at a point where the leader of the so called 'free world' goes against any semblance of human decency and marginalises multiple groups of people - LGBT, immigrants, women etc.

I mean really the political landscape is so toxic right now it isn't a surprise that it has given a free card to any one who harbours these feelings to say it out right. Racism has become normalised, particularly when blame is attached to whole societies of people they stop becoming individuals but now become 'other' groups i.e faceless. It's how what happened to the Jews happened, we look back on it and think how can such an atrocity happen? But it didn't happen all at once it came slowly and steadily and before people knew it they were justifying mass genocide to themselves.

AntiqueSinger · 09/02/2017 00:49

Some understanding wouldn't go amiss.

Generally that means, 'I'm not in the target demographic, therefore I can afford to be understanding'.

And if you've lived long enough to be grey haired, there's less excuse for being ignorant, not more. Often it's more deliberate by then. I've heard some elderly people still use the term coloured. Its not because they do not know differently. Its because they want to use it and no ones going to stop them 'at their age'.

LittleWonderYou · 09/02/2017 00:54

MN isn't your best audience for this. Racism doesn't exist according to some posters.

^^
This.

ShoutOutToMyEx · 09/02/2017 01:02

SIL thinks that Islamic faith schools should be banned in the U.K. and all immigrants should be made to learn English before coming here.

Her niece and nephew attend an English speaking school. In Dubai. Because they speak no Arabic.

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