To think that nursery must drug a room full of under 2s to get them to sit nicely and cooperate?

[Bubspub]

Obviously the title is in jest! I don't suspect that my nursery is drugging the children, they are an excellent nursery of very lovely staff. I took DS 21mo in slightly later than usual this morning and 'sing and sign' had begun. I stood there open mouthed. I kid you not, a room full of under 2s sat in perfect, straight rows, listening attentively to nursery nurse singing and signing. HOW DO THEY GET THEM TO DO THAT??! I am seriously impressed. I also assume that my DS went to join them and behaved this way. HE WOULD NEVER DO THIS AT HOME! Am I the only person whose child is a complete hooligan at home but get reports that "he's been an absolute star" when I pick him up and they have told me very clearly that they have no concerns about his attention and behaviour? I'm baffled but impressed at the same time! And open to the suggestion that it's because of my crap parenting!

[ajgottli]

Aside from what everyone else has already written, there's one more point to take into consideration. The fact that your kid acts perfectly at school and like a hooligan at home is a very good sign that 1. your son is willing to be socialised and is well on the way to becoming civilised, and 2. your son feels comfortable enough to 'act out' around you after having made supreme efforts to control his emotions for many hours at the nursery. As he gets older, he'll start internalising all the rules he's learning at nursery. They won't take such an effort to follow, hence he won't need so much space to let down and act like a hooligan at home. For now, I'd recommend you just keep loving him the way you've been doing, and I suspect the above welcome scenario will follow sooner than you might imagine. :)

[Petronius16]

A thought. Humans tend to be tribal, on their own they're selfish, wanting their own way. With others they want to be accepted into the tribe and thus conform.

[paxillin]

Nursery kids really "get" educational settings. I picked up my DC from nursery, had my DN (2.5 years old) with me. DN is not English, nor does she speak English at all, she was visiting. She is also quite shy.

I walked in, my DN looked around, saw children sitting on tables glueing fluff and glitter to loo rolls. She immediately found a seat, grabbed a loo roll and started glueing stuff to it. The staff didn't bat an eyelid and included her in the activity.

[HerRoyalFattyness]

hennaoj sometimes we get one that's resistant to pixie dust and magic spells. It just means we up out game a bit and use slow mind control. One day you'll turn up and he'll be a perfect little robot lime the rest of them

[vvviola]

DD2's childcare worker managed to get a bottle-refusing, always breastfed to sleep stubborn one year old to happily take a bottle of oat milk and have a nap with the other (it did take a few weeks mind you). They refused to tell me their secret even when I bought them lots of chocolate at Christmas time.

It carries on into primary school too. DD1 is a bright energetic never sits still child who never shuts up is very chatty and imaginative lives in a dream world In her parent teacher meeting when she had just turned 8, I actually had to ask the teacher if she was talking about the right child! Contributed at the right times, stayed focused, loved PE but otherwise sat nicely. I honestly thought it was a different child.

Maybe that teacher got hold of the pixie dust from somewhere...

[hennaoj]

My 3 year old started Nursery at the beginning of this month. He certainly doesn't sit in group and runs around inside the Nursery still! He's not for following the lead of others,

[Petronius16]

Once upon a time I taught in a school in the village in which I lived. Parents often expressed their frustrations about our ability to control the seemingly uncontrollable.

Kids play you up because they feel safe with you and feel your unconditional love. A teacher is a world of uncertainty, best not risk it.

[cheval]

Wait til they're teenagers. Perfect angels in other people's houses. Utter gobshites in your own. Harry Enfield got it just right in Wayne and waynetta sketches.

[fabulous01]

Love this post. We have asked nursery how they do it. They amaze me. They work ruddy hard and low pay. And mine listen and behave there. At home they have hearing problems....

[brasty]

My finest moment was getting 6 young kids with SN including severe autism and 2 with ADHD, to sit on the carpet still, and also listen quietly to a story. Okay it was a short story, but even I was surprised.

[fluffiny31]

I use to work in a nursery for years and we always had a time for sitting together to sing and another time for story time. The trick is keeping it fun and easy and not too long. And on top of that because their all sitting together as a group they all copy each others behaviour. the wrigglers tend to sit next to staff just in case they want to wriggle away but saying that at that age of they don't want to participate they aren't normally forced to. Just encouraged. I found it easier with a group than i do with my dd.

[WhateverNameIsStillAvailable]

As a nursery nurse myself I can confidently tell you it is actually achieved with the power of pixie dust. We use it all the time. It's a well kept secret not many people know. But seen as this is anonymous. .. there u go.
You're welcome. Don't worry about your parenting or stickers!!! It's pixie dust you need. 😊

[yaela123]

Definitely witchcraft! DDs' nursery used to do meditation?!?

[BertieBotts]

Just seen this recommended on another site :) <a class="break-all" href="//www.amazon.co.uk/Talk-Little-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/150113163X/ref=pd_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=2P0JFQTX3T2PPG703PVE&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">//www.amazon.co.uk/Talk-Little-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/150113163X/ref=pd_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=2P0JFQTX3T2PPG703PVE&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

It's "How To Talk" but for younger kids.

[pinkstripeycat]

I meant thing not thug

[pinkstripeycat]

I've helped at nurseries and the sitting still thug doesn't last long. After a time someone slowly starts to wriggle away and the teacher encourages them back and before you know it they are rolling, fidgeting or shuffling off in different directions. Teacher then stops everything to give the little sit nicely speech knowing that he/she needs to wrap it up lol

[black2sugars]

Voodoo?

[MilkRunningOutAgain]

There was one woman at nursery who could hold the attention of the entire 2-3 year old room for around 15 minutes at a time, she was wonderful. All the kids were extremely well behaved and polite and she was so positive and lively. My DS adored her and I think my DD would happily have lived with her, I felt I was a very poor second, she never wanted to come home. The rest of the staff were all lovely but this one worker was just brilliant.

[Bubspub]

Thank you Snuggly, bless you, and thanks everyone for your encouragement, I really appreciate it 💐

[SnugglySnerd]

DD is roughly a year older than your DS. I find it much easier now, for 2 reasons:
1 Her attention span is longer so she'll do drawing, play dough etc for maybe half an hour at a time. This has definitely made going out for meals easier as we take a colouring book, sticker book etc to keep her occupied.

1. Her speech is so, so much more advanced. She can tell us she's hungry/thirsty/hot/cold/whatever which cuts down on her frustration and ours. She can also understand instructions/requests/questions etc and respond to them.

It does get better, I promise!

[Bubspub]

Yes Bertie, the huge, ear bleeding tantrums in public I find the worst. That and the throwing self down shrieking every minute on our long walks when I won't let him step out or play in the road, it's painful! He's definitely getting better but it's slow progress! I will have a good read of that website, i looked briefly and it looks really good, thank you x

[Bubspub]

It can't pass soon enough! In the meantime, meals out with the in-laws will have to do, and I mean that with huge gratitude because Christ knows what we'd do without them! His behaviour has actually improved and he is better than he was when he was a baby-baby. We've actually come a long way but DP and I are so worn out now it's hard to keep sight of that. I will focus on your son's exemplary behaviour award Elpha, if I get to that stage I will know I must have been doing something right! You must be very proud x X

[BertieBotts]

What's the worst thing, Bubs? Is it the tantrums? I can try to find a good article for you on Aha Parenting. I think their stuff in general is great but it might be a bit overwhelming to dive in and read all of them at once. You could follow them on facebook otherwise, then you get a random article every few days which you could read if it looks interesting.

I loved the 2yo bit but it helps so much if you understand their point of view and where they're coming from. It's so frustrating when you think they're just being difficult on purpose. Usually they're not - it's a communication thing. We don't know how to read them, because we can't remember being two. And they can't explain to us what the problem is because they don't have the understanding or patience, let alone the language to do so. But everything becomes so much easier and more fun when you learn to "speak toddler".

[ElphabaTheGreen]

Yep, and boring, and frustrating. No one tells you how shit and hard it is, actually most of the time. It's a good job the lovely moments are incredibly lovely, because they need to be to make up for the relentless exhausting slog the rest of the time.

Remember the behaviour looks a lot worse to you than it does to other people. You're also going to feel a lot more judged by people you see on a regular basis, than complete strangers. If you can, try and look around at others' small children next time you're at a restaurant, and you'll notice a lot more struggling than you do at a passing glance. Similarly, if someone else's child kicks off in a restaurant, take note of how little it actually bothers you, and it might take the edge off your embarrassment around your DS.

My once-upon-a-time tantrumming, screaming, flailing DS1 (4yo) brought home a head teacher's exemplary behaviour award from school at the end of last term. He also gets dressed without fuss and has even started making his bed of his own accord. It passes