I have name changed for this as it is potentially a little identifying. And quite long so I'm sorry.
I am fed up of being annoyed with my friend. DP says I should just leave it now, "put the friendship in the bin" and move on so I'm not annoyed any more. I am less sure. Here is back story so I don't drip feed...
My closest friend is a bloke who I met on the first day of university. There has NEVER been anything romantic between us. When we first met I thought he was a bit of a drip and didn't like him at all, but we soon became inseparable. We were on the same professional course and went through a lot together. He never had much luck with the ladies. I have been with my DP since early university and they know each other well.
After uni we stayed close despite moving to different cities. He ended up working in the exact same professional field as me, though took longer to decide so he's a bit behind me now professionally. I ended up with a bit of a "mentoring" role unofficially.
A few years ago he met a girl that I wasn't a fan of. Long story short, he married her. She is very indecisive, shy to the point of being actively rude, and essentially doesn't have anything to say for herself. I am an introvert but even 1:1 conversation is limited to one-word answers. They were married at the end of last summer and in the lead-up he was groomzilla. He organised everything. I was going through a lot at the time including a house move, a challenging new job and a miscarriage. No support was offered re this. Every conversation we had was about his wedding or his work (with me advising).
I thought it would go back to normal after the wedding but I still haven't got my friend back. Most recently I have again been a sounding board for work issues. He is due to sit some professional qualifications without which he can't progress in the field. But he has to travel away for courses for this, his wife gets upset when he's not there and so he can't sit the exams. I think this is ridiculous and have told him so.
Every time I hear from him it's about this, he hasn't asked after me in months except when I've been blatant about it (e.g. one of DP's family members died and I had to literally say "we are really sad" to get him off-topic re work) and I think I just feel a bit used.
I'd be sad to not be his friend any more as we were/are so close, but I can't be doing with the irritation I feel every time he gets in touch with me either!!
TLDR: closest friend married someone I don't really like, made me help him with all the decisions pre-wedding and uses me as his career adviser, doesn't show any interest in my life and I CBA any more really. DP says to cut off contact and bin him, I am less sure.
Tell me what to do, MN!
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AIBU?
to consider binning my friend? And possibly a bit judgey about his life choices...
21 replies
Tizona · 12/01/2017 16:59
OP posts:
HecateAntaia ·
12/01/2017 19:53
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