To think that not all babies can be 'sleep trained'?

[Susiethetortoiseshellcat]

I have a 9 month old who has never been a great sleeper. As a newborn he tended to sleep on or next to me and for no longer than an hour at a time. He started to improve and would go 3 hourly stretches but then became worse again at about 5 months.

A friend had a sleep consultant who she raved about so I got some advice from her, established a strict daytime routine, bedtime routine and did timed comforting. Baby still woke throughout the night but went back to 3 hourly stretches which I could cope with.

With sickness and teething I got back into the habit of feeding during the night and baby started waking hourly again. Everyone has told me to sleep train. Family, friends, random mothers I meet at groups and now the health visitor. HV said at his age I should night wean. So for the past week I have tried timed comforting, not feeding, sending DH in with water, ignoring if the crying isn't too bad and generally following everyone's advice. My baby is not sleeping through. He is waking less frequently (2/3 times a night) and is generally easy to comfort but this doesn't seem to be good enough for everyone. They say that I must be doing something wrong as if I was sleep training him properly he would sleep through.

I am coping with this level of waking but feel that maybe I am doing something wrong, am not teaching my baby to sleep properly or, as everyone says, it will get worse again. Hv says I should leave him to cry as there isn't anything he wants but this is traumatic and doesn't seem to work - he just cries and then cries again the next night.

Am I right in thinking some babies can't be trained? And will he ever be able to sleep through the night?

[HookandSwan]

Also I meant to say, "it's only a problem for you if it's a problem which you say it's not so I wouldn't stress it.

Once family I worked for all three kids fell asleep on the floor lol and we're carried up to their bedrooms at some point. Sometimes they would sleep in parents bed but not always.

But I notice the elder boy did it less and less as he was nearing puberty and wanted His space!!

Those kids were happy well behaved and it worked for mum and dad.

[Choccyhobnob]

I have accepted my 16 month old can't be 'trained'. At 9 or 10 months I was so under pressure from all angles to sleep train him as I was about to return to work and 3 or 4 wake ups a night 'just isn't normal'. Everyone said it would be horrible but it would work. It didn't. It just meant that rather than co sleeping with 3-5 10 minute sleepy feeds in the night we had crying for hours and me and DH sleeping on the floor of the nursery. It was shit.

In the end I accepted that was how he was and that he needed me and that we all needed sleep so we went back to co sleeping and now he helps himself to boob 2-3 times a night and we sleep pretty well. But this is still wrong to anyone I dare confess it to because at 16 months he 'shouldn't still be feeding at night', 'shouldn't still be in my bed' and my dh should certainly be back in the same room as me.

I do feel like I should night wean to see if that helps but I'm so reluctant when at the moment I manage totally fine with how it is, just other people that feel there's a problem.

[HookandSwan]

Choccyhobnob ignore other people it's your child your life.

It's my job to advise And sleep train so I can get the job done. But alternatively if my mum boss wanted me to rock her baby I would do that happily.

[OohNoDooEy]

YABU I think that all babies can be sleep trained, sn excluded. YANBU to not want to - your baby, your choice. There if an unrealistic expectation for young children to sleep and it isn't compatible with the popular parenting styles of baby led families.

Just lie to the folk who ask you how they're sleeping basically.

[Bettyspants]

Sorry op just seen your reply, once solids were introduced at 6 months he started sleeping better , the night feeds continued a few times a night though but it was comfort rather than hunger. We were co sleeping so it didn't bother me hugely. At 5 he is still a light sleeper. My other two took a dummy which was a revelation at night I also gave some formula prior to bedtime, neither of those worked with ds though!! I ended up just carrying on as we were

[Crumbs1]

I firmly believe all children can be sleep trained but it requires an iron will and great determination from parents. Most people I know who,don't manage it give up after half hearted attempts because child cried or something. It's not easy but it works if parents are bold enough.

[TheSnorkMaidenReturns]

Sorry, not read all the thread - wifi needs a reboot - but my DS1 was a shocking sleeper at 9 months but it did pass, a bit!

Not all people sleep well, babies, toddlers, kids, teen and adults. You can make some things better but you can't change everything and sometimes you'll go mad trying!