AIBU to feel slighted by my manager?

[Asia88]

My partner tells me that I'm upset for no reason here, but AIBU to be annoyed with my manager for what seems to be his ongoing campaign to ensure I'm nobody in the team?

The most recent development - he decided to exclude me from the interview panel for my maternity cover (even though he openly admits not being aware as to what the jobs entails) I was upset but dealt with it.

YET he thought perfectly fine to put me down as the person fetching candidates from reception and assigned to photocopying their paperwork while they are being interviewed.

So in practise I will have to walk all the way from the south wing to the reception and back at least two times while being 8 months pregnant, scanning documentation while my manager + other colleague chosen for the panel will be sat in a room just over the main reception waiting for the candidates.

Note that I don't have an entry level job in the organisation. I am a project analyst on a decent pay, 5 years in the organisation and during that time managed to up my salary by £16k.

I don't feel like fetching candidates in itself is disrespectful but in the context of all the ignoring, exclusion and weirdness vibe I continually get from the manager this is just another thing that makes me angry and fed up!

[BabyJakeHatersClub]

user1478551766

I only have inhouse training as opposed to specific legal training but if you notice the punctuation I used around illegal was to signify that it wasn't actually illegal as such. It's far more nuanced than simply showing a question was asked. The information gained has to be shown to have influenced the decision making process (pre-offer) against an applicant due to a protected characteristic.

[user1478551766]

Doesn't sound like that would be hard to do against you, given that you boast about getting info on people pre interview that you know you shouldn't. And you do it online!

[BabyJakeHatersClub]

I've been in an entirely different industry (and out of the UK) for a decade.

I explained not boasted.

I assure you that I am anonymous online especially relative to an employment tribunal's investigation: it's one of the benefits of being involved in tech for the last 30+ years. You know CSI isn't real, right?

[Want2bSupermum]

OP When I say super strict it starts with making sure that you are not the one doing the perceived lesser 'female' roles. Going to get the candidates, copying information etc is what I would think the admin or lowest person in the team do.

As a woman I have had similar happen to me. I handle it by nodding to the manager being a moron and delegating that task to the appropriate person. If the manager mentions it tell them you are working on x,y or z so delegated the task to someone else who could handle the responsibility.

When you get back this manager sounds like the type who will forever moan if you have to leave to tend to your DC. I would be looking to transfer to work under a manager who has a better outlook once you return.

[user1478551766]

You know CSI isn't real, right?

You know CSI-Cyber is based very much on reality, right? Not that CSI is particularly relevant here. And you're not nearly as anonymous as you think you are.

[BabyJakeHatersClub]

"And you're not nearly as anonymous as you think you are."

Go on, 'out' me. We used to play that game on an IRC channel I frequented. A regular person with regular equipment couldn't. A very smart person with fairly impressive equipment couldn't. I include employment tribunals in this.

[mum2Bomg]

I'd let it go but I do understand how you're feeling. Exactly the same thing happened to me. I was really worried about who they would get to cover me but it turns out they made a really good choice without my input.

Started mat leave today. Don't let it get to you if you can help it. They will have to deal with the consequences if your replacement is shit.

[WLF46]

People don't usually interview their own replacement, so don't worry about it. He needs to find a suitable replacement, not you. He is the one whose arse is on the line if he picks a bad candidate, not you.

If you have concerns about walking any distance, just tell your manager that you don't feel up to doing it - you can't expect him to assume you're not able to do it if you don't tell him. I think you are looking for problems that aren't really there.

[user1478551766]

Go on, 'out' me. We used to play that game on an IRC channel I frequented. A regular person with regular equipment couldn't. A very smart person with fairly impressive equipment couldn't

I wouldn't bother my arse to do it for free. It's pretty easy for anyone trained in digital forensic analysis over the last few years. It's a long time since the IRC days, you really need to catch up.

[Asia88]

Want2Bsupermum I think you're right, I will need to be more assertive with my colleagues and more clever with the manager - smile and nod but then either delegate or "forget." I find it a bit hard though since I'm hard wired to be truthful with people. It will be a bit of a learning curve to learn to being protective of myself at the same time.

Delegating is also not my element, I have tried this in the past but found that I ended up completely re-jigging people's work or finishing tasks for them since they were not delivered to a good standard. In the end I decided it was better to get on with everything.

Interesting fact - the temp managed to get loads of praise recognition acting very much like you said - "forgetting" to do menial tasks that he clearly thought were beneath him or abandoning long-established processes because he just didn't see any value in them (that time he was with is for 2 months.) But he can talk the talk and his head barely gets through the doorframe each morning, so he is great. I'm just annoyed that they favouring that kind of a person for my role it makes me feel they completely misunderstood what I've been doing here over the past few years.

[ParadiseCity]

So your manager has told someone else he wants you to do the shit work but not asked you directly? Just don't do it.

[Brokenbiscuit]

Do you really believe that pertinent information like the family life of an interviewee should be hidden until they're employed?

Well, funnily enough, yes I do think that information like that should be hidden so that idiots like you can't take it into consideration. The onus is on you, as the employer, to make the demands of the role 100% clear. It is then the individual's responsibility to determine whether they are able to meet those requirements, taking their personal circumstances into account. It is not your place to make those decisions on their behalf, nor is it for your PA to make those judgements either.

And yes, I do find it depressing to think that someone in a managerial position thinks it's ok to operate in the way that you describe. Unbelievable in this day and age.

[InionEile]

100% agreed, BrokenBiscuit. That kind of shitty, simplistic thinking ('oh you have kids you'll be a crap employee') is what holds women back from getting hired in the workplace.

I have worked in top corporations in the past and my spouse currently is a senior manager at a top corporation and that kind of sneaky questioning is not professional HR conduct. He recently hired a woman with 3 young children to his team. Her job involves travel and they made that clear at interview. She travels alll the time and has no issue with it because her husband has a flexible job. My DH didn't need to make sneaky questions to find this out. He trusted her and she was the best candidate and she is now one of the best people on his team.

Most companies are at pains these days to show a diverse and welcoming environment even if some employees might have personal opinions that differ.