To say no to MIL who we haven't seen since April!

[pumpkinpiesforsupper]

Just to get some reassurance that I'm not just being a hormonal cow

The last time MIL made the effort to come over, see us, or let her visit her was April the 27th.

We try every week to make contact, however she's always busy with work/other grandchild/tired. Anyway, we carry on asking as we really would like to see her and for her to be an active part of our 3DCs lives.

I am 30 weeks pregnant with number 4, she text today saying ' DH said you'd let me come to a scan, you haven't invited me to any' as I had a growth scan this afternoon, afterwards she text 'send pic then' and I haven't.

To be honest I want to reply saying something about how I thought she wouldn't have the time for growth scans considering she can't see us or the children for over 25 weeks...

[Lovepancakes]

I would just be up front if I were you and just say something in a kind way like I'd rather you spent time with the children as they'd really appreciate it though it's so kind of you to show interest in the new baby.
Clear communication is often best IMO

[Foslady]

How about 'sorry, can't do baby scan but I'm having my gall bladder scanned once I've had the baby, fancy coming along to that?'. When she starts blustering remind her they're both medical proceedures

[edwinbear]

OP tell her it was a medical scan, not the cinema.

[Stevefromstevenage]

Deliberately misunderstand and send a picture of your existing children.

[fc301]

Agree with PP. abs no fecking way I'd take my MiL to a scan. It's private & its medical. What if some sort of concern was raised (I'm sure it won't be x).

[ollieplimsoles]

send pic then

Rude cow.
Fuck her...

[Taylor22]

Why should OPSEDN a lying manipulator a picture of her womb?
It's very easy to keep the peace. Block her and ignore her. Extremely peaceful

[duxb]

Pumpkin if your DH hasn't said that & it's a regular thing for her to say then I can completely understand your frustrations. It sounds like a rather complex and frustrating situation.

I'd send the photo (if there is one) to keep the peace but that's all. It certainly needs addressing that she won't be attending any appointments with you.

I'd say your husband needs to establish the boundaries though - from experience if that comes from you, you'll just get flamed.

[Taylor22]

Black hole her. And stop chasing her. She is not into you. Do not respond do not contact. Leave her to your DH.

[MyGiddyUncle]

That was really rude moreslack...how is that relevant in the slightest?

[HarryPottersMagicWand]

Perhaps she isn't thrilled at the rate you're reproducing? Just a thought. Are you working?

What the fuck has that got to do with you! Mind your own bloody business. The OP could be on child 15 for all,its got to do with you.

YANBU. Stop contacting her. Her problem if she doesn't see you. And certainly don't let her come to any scans or have any scan pictures. I don't see why anyone bar the parents would have scan pictures anyway. Ignore her messages.

[kerryob]

Perhaps she isn't thrilled at the rate you're reproducing? Just a thought. Are you working?

What has that got to do with anything op has posted!?!?

[Bogeyface]

Perhaps she isn't thrilled at the rate you're reproducing? Just a thought. Are you working?

WTF?! Who the hells business is it of anyones except the OP and her DH?

Or do you think that she should have a fucking family wide referendum the next time she wants to have a baby?

[pumpkinpiesforsupper]

I am working, 9-3pm so my hours don't get in the way of meeting up or anything.

I'm not sure what you mean by the 'rate I'm reproducing'

[MontyPythonsFlyingFuck]

"he's said to tell her to forget it"

No, HE should tell her to forget it. She's his mother, not yours!

[ImperialBlether]

I don't understand grandparents like this. Surely when your children have children your family expands? You don't just cut them off!

[pumpkinpiesforsupper]

Mum - in my messages I always say 'let's catch up this weekend, you are welcome to come to us or we can pop to you' so it is completely in her favour.

She lives 10 minutes away by car.

[pumpkinpiesforsupper]

To be honest I think if I didn't make contact first with her each week we wouldn't hear from her at all.

DH is saying when baby comes along she'll want to be first to be at the hospital visiting but he's said to tell her to forget it, I've had a rough pregnancy and her help at some stages would of been appreciated, seeing as she has her DDS child everyday of the week it's not like she doesn't like children.

[mum11970]

How far away does MIL live? I take it you haven't been to see her either. Contact works both ways.

[Lymmmummy]

Agree with PP ignore

Her whole behaviour seems extremely high handed and ignorant

I would also knock it on the head with contacting her making all the effort - I would just take a step back from her - if she gets a bit nasty tell DH to deal with her - keep it cordial but a bit more distant

[CrohnicallyPregnant]

It's not exactly tit for tat- the OP has some photos waiting, all MIL has to do is collect them!

[CrohnicallyPregnant]

There you go then- remind her you still have the photos waiting for her and 'seeing as you're too busy to pop by and pick them up I didn't think you had the time spare to come to the scan!'

[pumpkinpiesforsupper]

They are lovely at our hospital and always give us pictures should we want them, I paid for some for her last time which she's yet to collect so I feel a bit petty but I have purposely not facebooked them to her. Why should she be able to show off these scan pictures when she can't be bothered...