To think I have fucked up my career

[Corporatedisaster]

Name changed for this.

I started a new job 2 months ago and I’m sat here sobbing because its turned out so badly.

I was brought in to head up a department and take over from an agency who had been doing it. The agency were supposed to take a step backwards and allow me to direct them. But the owner is childhood friends with the owner of the business and they talk all the time, leaving me out of important conversations. Now they have decided 'we must all work as one', yet we are not even in the same building!

Since my first day barely any manager has spent time with me and I have been left to fend for myself. I haven’t been given a laptop or a phone, so my mobile bill has doubled. Other members of the team constantly undermine me and go behind my back doing elements of my job and I feel that I have no control.

The company are in financial difficulty and I am petrified I am going to be made redundant as there seems to much secrecy and game playing. I don’t feel that I have shown I can do a good job as the perimeters for my role are constantly changing.

I am 27 and I feel like I have messed up big time. I have lost all confidence and think I must be terrible at my job.

How can I move forward from this?

[SuperFlyHigh]

I'd cut my losses and leave.

My last job I lasted 6 months ended up getting yelled at by the boss for something minor, same boss would interview candidates and say within earshot of them that he wanted to 'bang them'. I literally resigned which wasn't the best move (i had had interviews) but I got another job almost immediately afterwards which isn't the best but it'll do.

Wanttobe has very good advice.

[gillybeanz]

First of all what is your career, people may help if you are more specific.
Secondly, you need to decide what to do, do you want to keep the job and stand up for yourself, pointing out to them where you need autonomy.
Or would you prefer to look to other employment? and explain to future employers why this job wasn't for you.
It's not the end of the world and this is just a blip in a long employment record, you are young with skills an employer will need.

[ThunderbirdsHaveMums]

I see 2 problems here:

1. You are not being properly equipped with the necessary kit, and you are being excluded form the management loop.
   
2. You have effectively condoned this by using your mobile and trying to find work-arounds.
   

It's NOT about you, it is about you finding yourself in a position where it is not possible to perform your role.

There are several reasons why this might be the situation and lack of funds "may" be one of them? If it is, there won't be a job there anyway. Equally you may be dealing with abusive personalities, in which case there is one direction to go - run for the hills and get out asap.

You are 27 and right now I think you can stand up tall, brush yourself off and accept this as a learning experience. I would get your CV back together and updated. Then spend awhile doing a really deep but bird's eye review of what you might have missed in the way of signals, clues, anything that could alert you to this type of (not uncommon) situation in future.

You are not alone in this, never have been and never will be. Your career and future employers will BENEFIT from this. You get to show the strong side of your personality and capabilities to yourself as you choose to make a graceful exit into a more reasonable workplace. The longer you tolerate this situation, the worse I think you will feel and I think you deserve respect, help in your new role, a full set of tools. Seriously, it's the same as sending a carpenter out without a saw or a hammer....utterly nuts!

I really wouldn't put effort into fighting it and in a short time you can just skip it on your CV altogether. The less time the better IMO.

[Cherylene]

I haven’t been given a laptop or a phone, so my mobile bill has doubled.
I suppose this is the modern equivalent of counting the paper clips. Something companies used to do when their backs were against the wall - pissing in the wind. Time to get out.

[Corporatedisaster]

It's not massively about the laptop or phone (obviously) BUT it is a sign, to me, that they either don't respect me to provide the right equipment or at least an indicator that the business is not run to the level of professionalism that I would expect.

I am using my own personal laptop currently.

[GladAllOver]

OP I repeat what I said before. You are intended to fail for some managerial reason relative to the outside contractor. You might just as well leave now.

[Clarinet1]

As someone who has had an eventful work life - everything from assault by a colleague to discrimination to bullying - I think a few things are clear:

As PPs have said it's not you, it's them. You can either try and be a hero and fight for the right to do the job you were brought in to do (insist on a phone and a laptop and that you must be involved in all relevant meetings etc). or you can get out which I think would be entirely reasonable.
In terms of your career, I don't think you've made a mess of it all. All you need to say to future interviewers is "It didn't work out". You just tried it for a couple of months and it wasn't for you. As PPs again have said, after a couple of years you can probably just quietly have a brief gap on your CV.
If the company is in dire straits you may be wise to get out sooner rather than later - not only do avoid longer joblessness/lack of income but also, in your position, could they manage to portray you as having some part in any future failure?
I'm sure you can get to a place where you are properly valued and supported.

[GrumpyOldBag]

Isn't there a 3-month probationary period in your contract?

That works both ways. i would resign immediately. You are only 27, you will get another much better job soon.

[Gardenbirdy]

Some great advice here, i ended up in a similar-ish situation and lasted 6 months. Please try not to let it affect your confidence - the whole situation is a mess, and would be whether you or someone else got the job.

[Lorelei76]

OP you've been set up
it sounds crazy but it happens quite a lot
the reasons aren't anything to do with you - although unfortunately when you job hunt you do need to have all the spidey senses on alert

resign
bill them for your mobile/data time when you have your last pay cheque. It's 2 months. I have left a place after 3 weeks and told future employers what a bunch of loons they were. These organisations exist - and other organisations know!

another friend simply didn't return to a job after the first month's pay came in - we were out on the Friday night and he said "I'm actually just going to ring them on Monday".

After he had done it, the receptionist rang to remind him there were some shoes under his desk that he might want to fetch...then said "oh I owe you a drink - we had a sweepstake on how long it would take for the person in the post to go and I won £50 so come at the end of the day and we can go to the pub".

[mickeyjohn]

At 27 I left 2 jobs for similar reasons (though admittedly wasn't at your level!) One I was in for 10 weeks, one for 12 - I removed the 10 week one from my cv entirely, fudged the other dates by a month either way and no-one was any the wiser! I quit both but knew I was about to get fired from the first one so quickly left before they did it for me! It made me cry every night & spend Sundays in a state of fear which is really shit! When I went for my next job I was honest that the 12 week one didn't work out & they didn't bat an eyelid - in fact, I think they admired my honesty (or so I like to think ) Just leave, find something else, and don't have any regrets. Life is too short for crap jobs that make you sad, especially at 27 when they world is your career oyster! Good luck!

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Just get out now!

You've only been in the role for 2 months, you can NOT allow this to ruin your career and confidence forever, for goodness' sake.

Leave. Let them be all pallsy-wallsy and sink their ship together - just join and agency or something (obviously a different one!) but get out.

[Corporatedisaster]

I believe I am on 3 month probation period, although I don't actually have an official contract - HR are still 'sorting it out' (I was under the impression that my rights are protected regardless though)?

Realistically I know I want to leave but right now it seems overwhelming and the confidence is an issue.

[Lorelei76]

if you don't have a contract then even easier to resign on the spot. When are you due to be paid? My concern is them trying to get out of paying you.

[SuperFlyHigh]

I've got no idea on employment law but generally without a contract and within your probation period either side can terminate the 'contract' usually with one week's notice though you could argue in your case as no contract has been signed you can leave ASAP.

the long you stay the worse it will get - in my case I kept thinking it would get better - it was only after a run in with a rude paralegal who was 'stopping me doing work' due to log-ins I needed etc (also was bullying to me) that I thought sod it I'll leave. I had valid reasons for leaving too.

No need for references.

[SuperFlyHigh]

exactly lorelei - err on the side of near pay day if you can last that long - I did and got my month's salary plus 1 week notice.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

But why is it all so overwhelming? Are you worried that you have somehow failed? you haven't, they have failed YOU! The longer you have this die-away woe-is-me it's-all-so-awful-what-can-I-do attitude, the more your confidence will be eroded - so DO something about it, take back the initiative and leave!

The main thing I'd be worried about here is recouping your losses on your mobile phone, so I wouldn't be spending any more time ON your phone for them - if you have no contract, then yes, there might be a concern about them actually paying you as well, so maybe wait until your next pay goes in and then just resign and walk out.

[Want2bSupermum]

I wouldn't even update your CV. Just get it out there. You can mention it when you interview.

Do not worry about the probation period - Find 10 jobs to apply to today and apply to all of them over the weekend. When you come in on Monday your role is finding a new job.

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

You don't have many rights at the moment though. You have to have two years service to claim unfair (including constructive) dismissal unless there is a discriminatory reason. You have to have two years service to get any redundancy pay. You could potentially take them to court for breach of contract, but you haven't got a written contract and there's nothing from what you have said to show you have the level of proof required for a claim like that. Plus any payout is capped at £25,000 (at least it used to be, would need to check if threshold has changed).

It sounds like they are going against the wall so get out now while it's still your choice.

[SandyY2K]

A new employer has to issue a contract of employment within 2 months.

Do you have a job description?
Because it seems you were told one thing and now it's changed.

Had you known this you may not have accepted the job.

I suggest you speak to HR or your manager regarding the issues you've stated here. •Such as using your own phone.
• No laptop etc

I expect you will claim for your phone calls?

Whatever happens, you're only 27 and you haven't ruined your career. On reading the headline, I thought you'd made a massive mistake in the actual work.

Get your CV outthere and if necessarytake interim work.

Document your concerns in writing, from the lack of equipment which is affecting your ability to effectively do the job and the fact that the role has changed from what you were initially informe.

Always always put things in writing.

It's a crap company, so getting out is your best bet.

[guinnessguzzler]

OP, you have lots of excellent and practical advice on here so I can only contribute as follows .... at 27 you have almost certainly worked less than 10 years and most likely have over 40 left to go. You have plenty of time to salvage your career. There has to be a bright side to the rising retirement age

In all seriousness, the situation sounds miserable so you do have my empathy. I second the advice on here and especially the 'it's not you, it's them' comments. Hard to remember when your confidence has taken a hit, I know.

[SuperFlyHigh]

also - I think here you are thinking:-

1. oh shit if I resign it'll look bad because it looks like I can't do my job.
   

Not the case - see above - to any future employers set out honestly what you have told us.

1. Oh shit I want to make it work but maybe they'll fire me/redundancy and if my work helped them go down...
   

THEIR problem - NOT yours if things don't work! You yourself know what you have tried to do and have evidence of it.

If necessary see a counsellor for a few sessions (the confidence etc) or even a few companies for interviews...

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

A new employer has to issue a contract of employment within 2 months.

Almost right. An employer has to issue a statement of employment particulars. For many employers that will be a contract of employment but the two are not quite the same thing.

Plus of course, a contract of employment is based on the mutual understanding of what that relationship and the terms within it, not just what is written on the paper.

[SuperFlyHigh]

I agree with Want2Be and MovingonUp.

what Sandy says is great but it isn't really worth stating things to HR as mostly they will be on the side of the company and will either try to make you stay or leave.

a brief letter when you leave may sort out your concerns.