Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Unflip

1 2 3

AIBU?

More of a WWYD

75 replies

TweedleDumber · 03/10/2016 07:55

Your DP is a SAHP.

It's your day off work and you have a test drive booked. With no intention of buying, it's just to get a feel of the vehicle.

When you got up you found DP had been up all night with sick 3yo (not anything major, just a bad cough/cold and the whingy/clingyness of a sick 3yo). DP has only had 3 hours broken sleep.

Test drive is booked for 9:30am. Would you still go or would you cancel and let DP sleep while you look after your sick child?.

OP posts:

Report

Willow2016 · 03/10/2016 21:08

Fleur
He went on a test drive of a car he has no intentions of buying for 5 years!!!!

He then went out for a nice breakfast! Then he accused op of being miserable cos she didnt care about the damm car!

Her and baby were both ill, and he fecks off to indulge himself while she is left ill and you cant see anything wrong with that?

Soubriquet · 03/10/2016 20:46

YABU. The way I see it, you would have coped just fine had he gone to work but are only kicking up a fuss because he's going on a test drive.

She would have coped because she had to cope. Not because she wanted to

The husband on the other hand could have rearranged his test drive and been a parent!

FleurThomas · 03/10/2016 20:42

YABU. The way I see it, you would have coped just fine had he gone to work but are only kicking up a fuss because he's going on a test drive.

Myownperson · 03/10/2016 20:39

Did he get why you were upset OP? I hope you have a better night sleep tonight. Is DD any better?

Daydream007 · 03/10/2016 20:34

Cancel

Soubriquet · 03/10/2016 20:06

What did he say?

TweedleDumber · 03/10/2016 20:05

We had an argument when he finally got back at 12:45.

I ended up in tears. And I told him he was being a selfish arsehole and he should have stayed to help look after his family. If it was a hosp app or work then obviously I'd deal with it and understand. But it wasn't and wasn't important.

Went to bed but couldn't sleep. DD was crying for me.
M

OP posts:

TweedleDumber · 03/10/2016 18:21

We had an argument when he finally got back at 12:45.

I ended up in tears. And I told him he was being a selfish arsehole and he should have stayed to help look after his family. If it was a hosp app or work then obviously I'd deal with it and understand. But it wasn't and wasn't important.

Went to bed but couldn't sleep. DD was crying for me.
M

OP posts:

WankingMonkey · 03/10/2016 15:12

Obviously cancel. Test drive is not even important and could be rearranged easily. This would only be a dilemma for me if it was something like a hospital appointment which would 1) be cancelled short notice so slot would be unlikely to be filled 2) take ages to actually get another through 3) actually be important.

JakeBallardswife · 03/10/2016 12:12

ok, he's sounding ultra unreasonable, its one thing if he's at work and really unable to come home but he's not at work. He's a dick. Not that helpful, but lots of men are not like this and really would give you some space and time out to sleep or whatever.

QueenLizIII · 03/10/2016 12:04

When he gets back with that car, dump DD on him, drive off out and have a nap in the car somewhere. Or just walk upstairs and go to bed.

Willow2016 · 03/10/2016 12:04

Milky
He isnt even considering buying the car its just for his own amusement.
OP has been up all night with ill child and is ill herself yet you think its ok for him to go off to test drive a car he isnt buying for years, then swan off to work and get himself some breakfast while she is crying at home ill?

Then to call her a miserable cow when she isnt jumping for joy at sweeing some bloody car?
In what universe is that ok?

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 03/10/2016 11:54

Honestly, I think if this happened today, my DH would have cancelled. But I'm thinking back to when ds1 was little, and I'm wondering whether he would have then At first he very much thought that I had all the time in the world as a sahp, and sat around drinking coffee all day.

He didn't realise that I can't "book a day off, and mosey around having breakfast" all the time, and I certainly can't call in sick.

It took a stay in hospital for me, unexpectedly, when I was pg with dc2 for him to really get it. He had to take time off work to look after ds1 for 3 days. He came to visit in hosptial, he was unshaven, exhausted and said "I don't know how you get any housework done!"

Sounds like you need to have the 'chat' with him (or an unexpected hospital stay!) - about him stepping up and taking some of the responsibility of being a parent.

In the meantime, have some

TheNaze73 · 03/10/2016 11:52

Of course he should cancel

ItShouldHaveBenJess · 03/10/2016 11:49

Three hours broken sleep is quite normal for me. I can still function

There's always one.....

TweedleDumber · 03/10/2016 11:47

Still not home.

Ass hole.

OP posts:

Johnny5isAlive · 03/10/2016 11:39

Of course milky It wasn't cryptic

milkyface · 03/10/2016 11:33

In that case you need him to get his act together. It's not about the test drive is it? It's about him not parenting basically

TweedleDumber · 03/10/2016 11:32

Hahaha sometimes I've woken him at 6:30am on a working day to watch her for an hour and half before he goes to work and he's spent the entire day complaining. Then when arriving home from work he has complained about how tired he's been at work. (Retail, nothing strenuous)

OP posts:

Julju · 03/10/2016 11:32

Oh, fuck that. If he's not buying it imminently he can bloody cancel

milkyface · 03/10/2016 11:31

I know that I'm just asking what she'd have done if he was.

He's being selfish yes but I really don't see the big deal unless it's a regular occurrence.

If he's a selfish dick all the time then it's obviously about more than a test drive.

Julju · 03/10/2016 11:31

It should definitely be discussed first thing so you can both agree on whether the test drive is canx or rescheduled for later in the day. If it was my OH I'd be inclined to avoid the faff of rescheduling and just ask him to make sure he came straight back so I could go back to bed

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

19lottie82 · 03/10/2016 11:30

Hang on just RTFT...... why on earth would he go test drive a car he has no intention of buying for5 years???? I read the OP as , he wasn't going to buy it today,butwould ne test driving it to have a think about buying it in the foreseeable!

TweedleDumber · 03/10/2016 11:30

BushExplorer No, offered nothing.

And if he was working id deal with it, as I will be tomorrow. But fact is, he isn't working, his daughter is under the weather and his Mrs is exhausted.

OP posts:

rightsofwomen · 03/10/2016 11:30

winter that wasn't a very helpful response, was it?

Surely you must recognise that 3hrs broken sleep is not what most people are able to manage on.

Unflip

1 2 3

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.