To ask if you consider eating with your fork in the 'wrong' hand to be bad manners?

[Whatsername17]

Just that really. My right hand is my dominant hand, although for some tasks (like painting and cleaning) I tend to swap between my right and left hands. I eat with my fork in the right hand and knife in the left. Today someone was complaining that their kids eat the 'wrong way around' and that they were worried and felt it should be corrected. It made me feel a little self conscious tbh. Do people really care about which hand you have your fork in?

[littleprincesssara]

Who eats pizza with cutlery?!

[ForalltheSaints]

Not if you have the knife in the other hand.

[Tartyflette]

I think this little rhyme was around at a time when you were supposed to spear peas delicately with the tines of your fork, before conveying them to your mouth, two or three at a time. (Must have been tedious in the extreme.)
I eat my peas with honey
I've done it all my life
It makes them taste quite funny
But it keeps them on my knife!

[Tartyflette]

I recently watched 2 young women (18-20ish) in a cafe doing this and it just looked so odd - they were behaving as if they had never encountered cutlery before and just made a complete hash of eating their meal. In fact actually eating very little of it at all )

shove this is exactly what I meant upthread when I said I had seen this on several occasions, young people who could not handle cutlery at all, never mind in the correct or incorrect way.
I did consider that they might be A/ disabled or B/ anorexic but I saw no evidence of that, one looked to be on a date and her bf wasn't that great handling implements either, but they ate most of their pizza (yes, it WAS in Italy ) in the end although I had to avert my eyes, fascinating though it was , managed their icecreams fine, and walked /used phones/spoke apparently normally. Whatever that is.
But the cutlery handling was inept, to say the least. I felt some sympathy for them, it looked like they had no idea how to eat in a restaurant, they didn't even pick it up in their hands. Some people were eating with their hands, others (older) with cutlery. All fine.
I'm just bemused by it all.

[shovetheholly]

I recently watched 2 young women (18-20ish) in a cafe doing this and it just looked so odd - they were behaving as if they had never encountered either food or cutlery before and just made a complete hash of eating their meal. In fact actually eating very little of it at all.

This can be a technique used by young women trying to diet, as part of the hideous pro-anorexia movement (along with other techniques like pinging yourself with rubber bands when you feel hungry). You may have witnessed something very different to incompetence.

[imother]

Ooh mais non! Not me, definitely not, .... but perhaps in Paris? All that romance and l'amore an that

[littleprincesssara]

Do you normally do that on the dining table, imother?

Not judging, mind - it's perfectly acceptable table manners as long as no one is eating at the time (and you give it a good wipe down with a bleach pad afterwards. )

[imother]

Are you sure it was le forking they were talking about in Paris little ? That accent can make it quite hard to hear vowels correctly you know!

[littleprincesssara]

Quite shocking that people admit they would not hire someone who didn't use cutlery "correctly." Did it ever occur to you that some people have disabilities and cannot physically do so?

Having said that, this: I recently watched 2 young women (18-20ish) in a cafe doing this and it just looked so odd - they were behaving as if they had never encountered either food or cutlery before and just made a complete hash of eating their meal. In fact actually eating very little of it at all. did make me laugh, only because I'm imagining essentially two T-rexes in dresses holding forks in their little T-rex arms. Not sure why, probably because I was reading the infamous MN dinosaurs thread. Still, I doubt many people (unless disabled) have such poor table manners they are not capable of getting the food from plate to mouth.

[mrsglowglow]

I'm left handed and eat with fork in the left hand and knife in the right. My kids are both right handed but eat with the fork in right hand and knife in left. I'd never even noticed until some relative pointed it out. Then I started to wonder if it was because when they were learning to use cutlery I sat opposite and held the fork/spoon in their right hand with my left hand. They blame me now 😃 I couldn't care less what hand people eat with!

[littleprincesssara]

Incidentally in France (mainly in Paris) eating with only a fork in the right hand is considered chic. It's called Le Forking (and was later a diet, but that's another matter).

[littleprincesssara]

Obsession with how one uses one's cutlery is so tediously middle-class.

It is very Hyacinth Bucket. It doesn't mark you out as posh; quite the opposite.

[Loveday26]

Licking your knife. Silly phone

[Loveday26]

I was always taught it was bad manners to have fork in right hand. I still stick to it but it doesn't bother me if others do it (anymore). There are much worse things like eating with your mouth open the noise makes me very irritable) or locking your knife which dp does all the time to the point I want to stab him with the godforsaken thing

[ToastDemon]

I eat with my fork in my right hand and my knife in my left. This was despite the best efforts of not only my parents but my older brother to get me to do it "correctly".
Despite this terrible social failing, I eat perfectly politely and neatly.
I can't believe anyone would judge someone else over something so entirely inoffensive.

[imwithspud]

It's not bad table manners.

Anyone who thinks it is, doesn't understand the definition of manners.

[Sleepandchocolate]

I eat with my fork in my right and my knife in my left. No idea why. Not sure why it would annoy anyone and tbh no one has ever said anything negative about it really. To try to force someone not to do it would be the same as forcing a leftie to write right handed. Never ever thought it could be seen as bad table manners?!

[Thissideof40]

OH eats the wrong way round too. He finds it easier that way. It's no big deal!

[Mrscog]

As long as they are used nicely I just can't see how it makes a jot of difference. Definitely a social 'rule' worth dumping.

[LaPampa]

I would probably notice but wouldn't think it rude. I think it far more off putting when people are picky or squeamish about food, or eat with their mouth open etc.

[imjessie]

Yes I consider it bad manners and well just wrong . Surely it's the parents job to teach them to eat correctly . My son has sn and he can use a knife and fork correctly . I'm sure as adults it may be difficult but your parents should have taught you correctly .

[PigletJohn]

manners is not the right word. It is bad manners to say or do something which is unpleasant or makes someone feel uncomfortable in a social setting.

The way you hold your cutlery is a convention. Unless you have paid them to train you in the conventions of a society which you wish to join, so that you will fit in and not feel out of place, it would be bad manners for somebody to criticise you or comment on the way you hold a fork, or the way you eat a sheep's eyeball, or the way you eat oysters.

[shovetheholly]

I have eaten a lot of very posh meals at the very poshest places, often tasting menus, so 8-10 courses or thereabouts (not a stealth boast - I have a friend who gets a lot of freebies and is kind enough to take me along. I also have lots of foodie friends with whom I have an agreement that we don't do presents - we go out for an expensive meal instead to celebrate birthdays, Christmas!)

There is rarely loads of cutlery on the table, because it would be annoying and look stupid and basically ruin the tens of thousands a lot of these places have spent on beautiful interior décor. As a PP said, they bring new sets between courses.

I think anyone who notices how others are using their cutlery has too little going on between the ears!! You should be far too busy enjoying the food and the wine and the witty company to be so utterly staid and boring. Loads of people go dressed in jeans, trainers and a T-shirt - it's not some Hyacinth Bucket deal any more.

[theDudesmummy]

My DH and both his daughters eat with their cutlery in the "wrong" hand. I found it odd at first and I have no idea why they do this (he is ambidextrous, probably originally left handed but not allowed to be as a child, they are both right handed). I don't notice it now. I presume that when they are in restaurants and at other people's houses they just quietly switch, I have never actually noticed them doing it. I don't see how it matters at all.

[SparkleMotions]

I'm right handed, but have to have my fork in my right and knife in my left! I've never been able to use utensils in the 'correct hands'. It doesn't bother me in the slightest, and in my 27 years have only had 2 people ever comment on it.