I'm posting a letter I'm sending to my government representatives and was interested to hear others' views on it. I'm in Scotland so no sure how pertinent it is for other parts of the UK or indeed around the world. I want to point out from the offset I am not anti breastfeeding, I am anti bullying.
I write to express my concern, disappointment and upset with regards to a government instigated bullying campaign. This is an issue which has been at the forefront for some time now and causes much angst for all affected. It is the issue of breastfeeding.
I can assure you that I fully understand all the health benefits of breastfeeding, both physical and emotional and there is no doubting that breastfeeding is the healthier option. However, those who do not breastfeed their children are made to feel inferior and I feel that this is a deliberate government policy to create stigma.
When I was pregnant with my son, I was fully intending to breastfeed, I had listened to and read about all the benefits and how it was the best choice for me and my baby. It wasn’t until much later on I realised just how little information I had been given about formula feeding. At the antenatal classes, there was very little discussion around formula feeding and the general information given was something along the lines of ‘make sure your bottles are sterilised’. I also began to realise just how little space in the ‘Ready, Steady, Baby’ book was dedicated to formula feeding versus the wealth of space given over to breastfeeding.
As good as my intentions were, it simply was not to be. I had been trying my absolute best and had completely exhausted myself trying to make it a success. Although I was making every effort to make it work, my son did not take to the breast at all. He got upset and distressed and through this I got upset and distressed. It began to affect my mental health and it was at this point we decided that the best option for us was to switch to formula feeding.
I could not believe it when my health visitor at my six week check demanded to know exactly when I stopped breast feeding – I had to tell her how old my son was when I stopped. To the very day. I was made to feel completely incompetent and was told that I should be getting myself along to the breastfeeding cafes or getting help from the breastfeeding support worker. I did not want this. I wanted to stop breastfeeding but this seemed to be deemed the worst decision ever.
I finally realised today that there is a government ploy to force women into breastfeeding and it was the most innocuous of discussions that made this clear to me. After discussion with a very kind sales assistant in Boots Chemists, I enquired as to why I wasn’t getting Advantage Card points for the baby milk and she told me that it was a government directive to ‘encourage’ women to breastfeed. I don’t feel encouraged to breastfeed – I feel like I am not good enough because I am not breastfeeding my son. I am made to feel that I am missing out and my son is missing out too.
I can assure you my son is healthy, happy and growing well. He gets all the nourishment he needs from his formula milk. I have formed a strong, close bond with him which has developed without breastfeeding.
I know many women feel this way and are victimised for making the correct choices for themselves and their babies. However, it seems that the government wants to tell us what the correct choices are and enforce them upon us. Because of this brainwashing, I find it very difficult to speak out about my feelings as so many people – mums and non-mums alike have been conditioned to believe that breastfeeding is the only way to go and if you’re not exclusively feeding your child yourself then you are the worst mum ever.
In closing, I would like to understand why the government are anti-choice when it comes to the matter of breastfeeding and why mothers who choose not to breastfeed their children are made to feel inadequate. I would like to know why a healthy balance of pros and cons of both formula and breast feeding is absent from any government pregnancy propaganda. I would like to know why I have been made to feel like it would be impossible to speak my mind about the topic and why my free speech is being stifled.
I look forward to reading your response.
Yours sincerely
user1473451513
Proud Formula Feeding Mum
AIBU?
to feel bullied over breastfeeding
user1473451513 · 09/09/2016 21:12
running it sounds to me like the BF supporter (NCT?) you dealt with was inexperienced and poorly trained. If she was from the NCT, you should complain.
"and instead advised I up my woeful milk supply by "thinking about my husband"
That is a quite inappropriate thing to say and tells me this woman has not really got any interpersonal skills. Much better to say that some people find it useful to spend as much time as possible near baby, ideally skin-to-skin, or be near baby / think about baby when pumping. I would go as far as saying what the woman said regarding your husband and milk supply was professional misconduct. Extremely insensitive at the very least. 
May through social media and tabloid media society has build up this idea of ff versus bf and have found yet another topic with which to undermine women's self-efficacy. NO matter how a mum feed, it seems, she will encounter judgemental type who seem to relish in putting down a woman who may in a slightly more vulnerable e position than usually.
"you are disturbing the other mums on the ward'. He was two fucking hours old and trying to latch/learning to feed! I'd done bf with my first boy so I knew I needed to be patient and just keep letting him suck."
"What pissed me off the most is that she put 'baby +++ distressed' in my notes for the night. "
Bloody hell 
I thought post natal care was utter hell. Night staff pretty grim (apart from one slightly elderly Irish HCA, she was caring and no nonsense. Told me that initially it had hurt with all her five babies but that nipples "toughen up" after a few weeks, she was honest and real and compassionate> Shared a room with 4-6 other women and babies, babies cried through the night, noisy visitors hovered during the day. I remember one woman who decided instead of tending to her baby to pop hear iPod headphones on (presumably not hear the baby crying) and her child cried and cried and cried. She had made some sort of rattle (bottle and beans) and rattled it whilst listening to music on her headphones throughout the bloody night. So it's pretty stupid of the midwife to say your baby would disturb the others, very old school and against NHS / NICE guidance.
What becomes quite clear from this thread is that there is inadequate provisioning from the NHS to support BF mothers. It's often lip services, combined with preaching. I was saved by the NCT at the time.
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