to have walked out and bought myself a bag of chips?

[Tinklewinkle]

Honestly, I could have cried last night.

I was on a late at work, so spent the morning at home. Did a load of chores - changed all the beds, cleaned bathrooms, tidied up, hoovered upstairs and down, walked the dog, a couple of wash loads and made a cottage pie for dinner.

Got in last night just before 9 to an absolute shit tip.

Kids had obviously had the play station out as the cupboard under the TV was open with games and controllers and all sorts of shite spewing out, dog had obviously had a whale of a time digging in the garden as there was mud and grass all over the living room, clean washing was still hanging out on the line and was now wet where it had rained. Kitchen was bombed and no one had saved me any dinner (DH had dished up and instead of dishing me a plate, he'd just dumped the tray with the cottage pie in into the sink, then someone had run water, straight into the cottage pie).

In the midst of all this, DH was lying on the sofa watching TV, having been home since just after 5pm

So I left. And bought myself a bag of chips and had a lovely half an hour on the seafront eating them

He had cleared the place up by the time I got back but was a bit shirty. Was sulky this morning and has just sent a text asking if I'm planning on eating with the family tonight or storming out again.

I was so pissed off with the lot of them last night

[maninawomansworld01]

Wow you were really restrained.
I'd have gone fucking nuts, got the kids downstairs to clear up their stuff, got him off his arse clearing up his mess and I'd be ordering myself a curry (and he would be paying).
He would also be doing all the house work for a week and the kids would loose the PlayStation until they can convince me that they are able to tidy up their shit after themselves.

[Goingtobeawesome]

Stupid advice.

[scarednoob]

Show him this thread, OP!

[HuskyLover1]

It's not rocket science....your portion of the Cottage Pie should have been covered in foil and placed in the oven at a temperature low enough to keep in warm, but not burn. When you got in, he should have been up off his arse and plating it up for you whilst you threw your jammies on. He is behaving as though he doesn't care for you very much.

My DH got in at 830pm the other night. By the time he'd changed into comfy clothes, I was handing him a roast lamb dinner and an ice cold glass of wine. It's what you do when one of you has been home and the other has been working their arse off.

[Buunychops]

Ok, the sink thing I can relate to I have a tiny kitchen, and on occasion have had to use the sink as a 'safe' place.

All the rest..........................

Personally being the bitch that I am I would (a make a lovely dinner tonight, (b set the table and call all to it , (c wait till they were all sat down, with dinner in front of them and then pour a jug of water over each of thier plates.

(d Sit with my lovely dinner and say eat that!

At 11 & 15 more than old enough to think...........

As for him; the actual adult, I would be seriously thinking about our relationship; as bad as what happened last night was it would be the more worried about being right that would fuck me off.

[Goingtobeawesome]

No flowerpower, SOME husbands.

[Mix56]

He is taking you for a fool. Well done for the calm walk out, a lot more effective than having a rant... I hope the kids were tidying their shit as well while he was doing the dishes.... They all know they were wrong.

So, this evening, I would tell them that you are NOT accepting that kind of disrespect. Tell them you expect an apology & If it happens again there will be "consequences". (ex. sell the console, no more meals prepared
other than small portions for yourself
Enjoy your meal out !

[Choceeclair123]

I think you've been VERY restrained! I'd have gone mental then flounced off and booked myself into a hotel with pool and spa! He has no idea how lucky he is.

[Nanunanu]

The gruffalo I was fair. Read both my posts

[CalleighDoodle]

Op you were completely right. You were calm and left. They were inconsiderate and lazy. You are not their housekeeper. I hope you had a lovely half hour on the sea front. Im proud of you for not punching your husband before you left.

[MrsJackAubrey]

christ I'd have raged at that - to him and the kids. Absolutely thoughtless behaviour. Definitely they need to apologise and make you a lovely cake

[Magicpaintbrush]

OMFG, this thread has given me the rage. I'm so sorry OP, it sounds as though you are completely taken for granted. And, as you say, your DH is more concerned with not being proved wrong than with how this has made you feel. It sounds as though he hadn't given you a second thought until you actually walked through the door, and then because you were cross (and completely justified in being so) he reacted like a stroppy child. Definite gas lighting going on there. Even if he hadn't put the cottage pie in the sink, he didn't even cover it with foil or anything, just left it sitting around - think how many flies are around at this time of year which could have been feasting on your dinner before you even got to it. Very thoughtless. I am sending you a cyber hug.

[TheGruffaloMother]

Similarly if they can't work out that running water into cottage pie will ruin it. They aren't old enough for a play station

Be fair. The place to store food that's still fit to eat is not the sink.

[AlpacaPicnic]

YASNBU - DH did this to me once, way before we were married. It was thoughtless, he ate an entire box of fishfingers for his dinner and didn't save me any and it was the last thing in the freezer since we were young and poor. I cried. The difference being he was mortified and apologetic. He offered to go and get me chips which i begrudgingly accepted

Nowadays I'd have ordered a fucking banquet to be delivered to the door and refused to share. Then dumped water on the leftovers to make a point.
I lie, there wouldn't be any leftovers even if I had to eat until food came out of my ears

[diddl]

Tbh I think I'd be more pissed off with the kid who ruined the pie.

Putting it in the sink very odd imo, but it was at that point still edible.

Leaving it there & running water knowing that it would ruin your meal-just as thoughtless as their dad!

We often just put stuff back into the oven.

[Nanunanu]

And your kids. I don't know how old they are. But if old enough to play on a play station they are old enough not to drench mum's tea

Similarly if they can't work out that running water into cottage pie will ruin it. They aren't old enough for a play station and it should be boxed up until they are old enough to do work around the house.

[Tinklewinkle]

Nope

Lots of excuses, but he hasn't apologised

I'm not even that annoyed about the mess/dinner anymore. He'd cleared up by the time I'd got home and I very much enjoyed my chips

But, for fucks sake, he screwed up, we all do from time to time, admit it, apologise and move on

He upset me last night and he seems to be more worried about being right

[Flowerpower41]

Guess that's husbands for you.

Boy am I happy for remaining single - bliss!

[Nanunanu]

What a nob. You are not in the wrong. He is.

He has to back down. You have the choice of how easy you will make it for him to do so.

You have nothing to back down from and managed it with far more dignity than I could have.

Ffs what we're you supposed to have eaten?

He doesn't like you working late does he? He was punishing you for having the temerity to do so. You say it us infrequent so he should step up to the plate. Instead he sulks and ruins your dinner then snipes at you for not eating it?

I'd be tempted not to make it easy for him to back down at all. He has a lot of running around to do

[TheGruffaloMother]

He says he dumped the cottage pie in the sink as the dish was hot and it was just somewhere to put it while dishing up. He was going to move it but 'forgot'

He didn't dish it up from the sink did he? Or while holding the heavy and very hot dish? He's dished it up from on top of the hob or somewhere fairly heat resistant. Somewhere he could have left it. He's moved it after.

Has he at least apologised for being so thoughtless?

[MaudlinNamechange]

"He says he dumped the cottage pie in the sink as the dish was hot and it was just somewhere to put it while dishing up. He was going to move it but 'forgot'"

This is somehow making me see red. the pathetic ineptness of not knowing that the dish is going to be hot and you have to make a place to put it. That in itself tells me so much about how much he does at home. And then just leaving it there. Never mind putting it on a plate for you, it just absolutely did not occur to him to do anything towards tidying up, did it?

[MaudlinNamechange]

"Just the way he was lying there, taking up the whole couch, didn't even get up when I came in - stupid thing to be annoyed about I guess"

Actually I am in the process of separating from my partner of 11 years (father of my two children) for this.
Well, sort of.

It started a few years ago. the lying on the sofa, most comfortable position in the house, back to the door, behaving like I am an inconvenience if I attempt to say difficult and demanding things like "hello" or "hey, how are you, how was your day?"

It feels like a slap in the face. It's worse when you're ill.

Anyway he was really lazy and selfish and I wasn't allowed to talk about anything that was pissing me off because: the primary and only issue he can acknowledge was that I was being difficult in some way, no matter what the underlying cause in terms of what I was facing or dealing with or the crap being thrown at me.

He's going.

You need to fix this arsehole before you quite legitimately can't live with him any more.

[Tinklewinkle]

The kids are 11 and 15. Old enough to know better too.

But, both girls had been out all day, the mess was made while DH was at home and at no point did the fully grown adult in the house say 'come on girls, put the play station way properly' or anything like that

He says he dumped the cottage pie in the sink as the dish was hot and it was just somewhere to put it while dishing up. He was going to move it but 'forgot'

I guess one of the kids made a drink or something and ran the water, but why put it in the sink in the first place FFS

It's just so thoughtless.

I don't know, we have had some issues lately about his priorities and general thoughtlessness and had thought we were getting somewhere

[MissMellowMellons]

Here you go ... 💐🍷🍰🍫 Working mums are so under valued!