I'm a regular poster but this is the username I use when posting about this particular issue/event
Last year my DH was arrested for possessing indecent images of children. Police came into our home at 7am, searched it and took all our electronics.
DH runs his own business building sites online and, when he has a client, he does the full service including setting up email accounts for them. They told him that indecent images had been exchanged via an email he had set up. The user somehow 'hid' (sorry don't know official terminology) the IP address, and the only trace they had of anyone accessing the account was DH, hence the arrest. He handed over all relevant information about the client in question, but the police obviously still had to carry out a proper investigation, which they warned us would take months maybe years. He wasn't charged
In the meantime children's services intervened with our (at the time) 2yo DD. DH couldn't be alone with DD unsupervised until a conclusion was reached. It was incredibly tough for all of us. She was placed on a Child in Need plan and we had regular visits and a conference. HV was also involved but mainly from a support POV.
6 months after the arrest our goods were returned. They had found nothing at all and confirmed DH's account of events was correct. The case was dropped against him, and children's services closed the case on our daughter as they had no concerns. They commented on our strength and co-operation through the process, and when asked said there'd be concerns whatsoever should we have more children and there'd be no need for them to intervene. Because of sickness of a SW they took 2 months to close DD's case, which they apologised for, and made no visits in this time.
I can't tell you the relief we felt. I trusted DH's account, but also protected DD 'just in case' in ensuring he was not alone with her through the process. Had they found images I'd have left straight away.
We are expecting again, I am 5 months pregnant.
I have not exactly warmed to my MW, but TBH I didn't think it mattered too much as I was only ever seeing her at appointments.
In my green notes it asks if we have ever had SS intervention, to which I ticked 'yes' and put the social worker's name. That's all it asked for, no details. However the MW never asked about it, and I assumed she spoke to the SW beforehand to check details.
At the last appointment she said that as part of safeguarding they do checks with HV and GP, and "it's came up that there are some concerns to do with your husband and some images".
I explained the story, about how he was innocent, no images were found and children's services closed the case for our DD.
She said she'd just have to speak to children's services to clarify this, to which I said that's fine.
I got a call last week from the MW to say she's had our story clarified but that, because of our 'history', ie involvement with SS, the fact they 'didn't immediately close our case', and 'I didn't tell her about it', she was making another referral for our DD and unborn baby. I explained they closed the case slowly due to sickness, and that they'd confirm this, and there were no concerns as we knew unequivocally that no crime was committed. I also said I filled my green notes about SS involvement. She just kept saying our history meant she had to refer, and that I should have actually mentioned it to her, not just in the notes. She said they'd do one of 3 options-
- Nothing
- Have a discussion or home visit with us
- Re-open a case with our DD and unborn baby
I've been sick with worry since the weekend. I haven't told DH, as he firmly believed that that awful phase in our lives was over. His mental health suffered greatly during the investigation, and I think more intervention would take him back to a horrible place.
I haven't eaten or slept in days, I keep crying and I do feel it's unfair - we know in hindsight there was never a danger to DD, so I don't know what has now changed.
The SW called me today and I thought I was going to faint with worry. She asked if there'd been any new developments or concerns since the case was closed, and had I any concerns or worries re DH? I said no, that I told the MW the story and wasn't sure why she had referred us, and no worries at all, we were fine. She went to chat to her manager and called back a few minutes later to confirm no visits would be made and they didn't need to re-open the case, and that she'll feed this back to the MW. She is really lovely and was worried about me not sleeping, and said it was really not necessary that we were referred and she was sorry I had to live through that worry for a week. She assumed I had 'told new concerns' to the MW as she doesn't know why else there'd be a referral.
I can't explain the relief I felt, I 100% understand why they safeguard, and would understand a referral of he had actually committed an offence or if they'd had concerns. However I felt that the MW referral was for no good reason and that she has been sloppy mainly re me ' not informing' her of previous involvement and also assuming the wrong thing about the time it took to close the case.
WIBU to request a new MW? And WIBU to put in a complaint - or is this very standard procedure to re-refer even with closed case, when there's been no new developments? I just feel she's caused unnecessary distress, the SW told her she had zero concerns yet still chose to refer.
I don't want to sound silly but he's done nothing wrong, if something had come of it I'd completely understand