to ask if you had a birth plan?

[user1467032004]

First of all, I was going to post this in childbirth but it isn't very busy and thought I would get more responses in this topic. Please move if not allowed.

I'm an avid reader of the Baby Bumps sub on Reddit and noticed that a lot of the woman have birth plans prepared for the hospital. I know that in the US it is different - a lot of people pick and choose what they want to happen in labour. Some women type up massive lists of instructions and others simply make diagrams. A lot of effort goes into these! Most of the time the birth plan seems to go out of the window so I'm unsure if there's even any point.

Do the NHS offer an equivalent? We really want to start trying for a baby but are doing some research first!

P.S I've attached a birth plan I seen on baby bumps so you can see what I mean.

[DisneyMillie]

I didn't bother to write a plan but I did discuss things with my husband such as I didn't want pethidine but would consider epidural if really bad. I think someone knowing things like that so they can talk for you if you're a bit out of it can be helpful. But be prepared to change your mind / go with the flow

[ConformationFart]

Yep, my plan was the same for all 3 DCs.
Let's get them out safely.

[passingthrough1]

Oh yeah and good point from an earlier comment on students. I had a student watching mine and I don't think anyone really asked but I'd said on my birth plan that I had no issue with that. Obviously I could have changed my mind but having sort of pre-consent for things probably helps them.

[Pinkheart5915]

I had birth plans with my DC and they covered everything from wanting water births, no epidural, cord cutting, who holds baby first, plan to breastfeed but I knew anything can happen in labour as my first baby was stillborn so my plan was relaxed in that if anything had gone wrong I wouldn't of cared what the hospital had to do.

I have been lucky with the births of my DD, ds both births although loooong went pretty much as I had hoped but I know that isn't the case for everyone

[HicDraconis]

I was going to do a research paper on this.

The longer the birth plan, the less likely it is that the labour and delivery will go according to it. More than four pages, laminated (or in one memorable case, bound) - you'll be the emergency Caesar under GA at 4am.

I also find it ethically very difficult when someone requests something completely at odds to their birth plan. A detailed, documented plan about how they will manage the pain including the phrase "I do not want an epidural under any circumstances" - then the woman gets to 6-7cm with a back to back baby and is screaming for a needle in her back ... What do you do? When of sound mind she clearly stated no analgesia, can I then put an epidural in?

I would write a birth plan by all means but use it as a guide to what you would like, don't expect that labour will follow the pattern you've laid out because that's how you planned it. It's OK to say you'd prefer not to have an episiotomy, for example - but then what happens if the baby gets into distress and they need an urgent delivery, which involves forceps and a cut? Will you still say no?

I think the best birth plans are short, basic, ideal "how I'd like it to go" scenarios but not fixed in stone. Or laminated. Mine was "I'd like everything done so that the baby and I are as safe as possible throughout. If I need pain relief I'll have it, if I'm managing without it then great. If I need intervention I'll accept it after discussion, if not then great. I'd like dad to cut the cord if possible, I'd like skin to skin as soon as possible and I'd like the baby to have vitamin K. I will breastfeed if at all possible, but if I can't do it I'll use XXXX brand formula. And I'd like a glass of champagne as soon as I'm allowed one!"

[NickyEds]

We did birth plans both times and they were mainly practical things such as, vitamin k injection, managed third stage etc. Me and dp also discussed things like if there was an emergency and me and the baby were separated he would go with the baby. We also said that dp did not want to cut the cord, he didn't even want to be asked. This was roundly ignored by the mw who cajoled and bullied him into doing it.

[April241]

I have a section at the back of my maternity notes that the midwife asked me to fill out a out the birth, it's more preferences really but I haven't done it yet. Hoping to sit down with my consultant in the next few weeks and go over some details.

[ohidoliketobe]

There is a space for a birth plan in my green notes. I filled it in for first pregnancy, being open minded because I'd been warned, I put what I'd really like (water birth, gas and air) but said I was open to further medical pain relief as birth progressed but I just wanted to be kept informed at every stage. Water birth was off the cards due to meconium in my waters. As to being kept informed, when you're having a post partum haemorrhage, you just have to trust the medical team which have swarmed into the room after the midwife pressed the emergency alarm know what they're doing. I was irritated at the time but in hindsight, had they taken the time to explain what was happened to me, give me my options and wait for me and DH to weigh up the pros and cons and make an informed decision. . . Well I'd probably have bled to death.

Researching your options and having an understanding of the pros and cons is great. But I wouldn't set your heart on anything.

Almost 37 wks with DC2 and the birth plan section is blank. I'll see how I feel on the day.

[user1467032004]

You guys are great - thanks for all of the replies.

Another thing I've noticed on these birth plans is waiting until the cord stops "pulsing" before cutting it? Is this normal now? I feel so out of the loop. [bush]

[user1467032004]

[bush] haha!

I meant

[stillrocking]

I made sure dh knew my preferences as I figured he'd be the coherent one giving consent, but didn't make a plan as I know myself and didn't want to get fixated on a certain plan and feel disappointed if it went awry, which it did!

[amysmummy12345]

I had a birth plan, ended up giving birth in the car on the way to hospital with DH delivering the baby

[passingthrough1]

Yeah I think delayed cord clamping standard but I requested anyway

[LittleCandle]

I didn't have a birth plan for either child. Or if I did, it was along the lines of 'get this bloody thing out of me as quick as possible, with lots of lovely drugs.' The quickly happened with both of them, but I manged on gas and air only, as there wasn't time to get me the drugs, but I would have had anything going!

[Noodledoodledoo]

Mine was written down as more preferences than a prescribed plan - it started off with me stating this categorically and I was willing to listen to all medical advice offered.

Agree with others it made me and my husband discuss various points we may not have covered, he wanted to cut the cord, we didn't care who told us what sex the baby was (surprise both times - some specify they want Dad to announce it to Mum), happy with students - 2nd baby was delivered by a student 5 days from qualifying. Preferences on pain relief I wanted to avoid pethadine due to impact on baby feeding but would have it if all other options weren't available or enough.

Discussion with husband about what he would do in the case of an emergency - who he would go with me or baby.

I was induced both times and both times most of my birth plan was incorporated - I wrote them both with a suspicion induction would be an outcome though.

Ideally wanted a water birth if possible, 1st not an option, 2nd would have been but they would have still been filling the bath when he arrived as very quick delivery!

[NeedACleverNN]

I didn't have a birth plan per se

I had things I would prefer to happen but I was realistic enough to understand that things happen.

I wanted a birth with no drugs, baby put straight on me, delayed cord clamping and attempt to breast feed.

I succeeded with that. But I was happy to accept drugs if I needed them

[corythatwas]

I think birth plans work best if you can think of them not as your order from Tesco's but as a chance to think through how you might want to handle different scenarios. By the time I went into labour the first time I had already been in and out of hospital for a couple of months with bleeding and high blood pressure and IUGR: I knew anything might happen. It was still a help to have thought through how I wanted to manage pain relief (e.g. that I wanted to try with TENS machine and gas before I went straight for the heavy artillery) and the kind of support I wanted with breastfeeding.
In my first labour I was able to have the pain relief I wanted and support with the breastfeeding. My second labour ended very quickly in an emergency section which I had no control over (baby in distress), but I still got the help I wanted with the breastfeeding.

Not least for dh to have a good idea of what he could do to help.

[anotherBadAvatar]

Nothing you write in the birth plan will be taken as gospel anyway. Eg, if you write you don't want an epidural, but ask for one in the throes of a contraction, it won't be denied and visa versa (assuming an anaesthetist is available). You will be asked about things as you go along anyway.

The only things it is useful for is documenting your wishes to give an idea of how you want things to pan out in your "ideal" birth.

Think about:

Who you want with you (and who you DONT want allowed in if relevant).

What types of pain relief you're thinking about (Eg "I want to try gas and air, but I will have an epidural if it gets too much")

What happens if you have a c section (eg "I want DH with me, and for him to hold the baby first if I am unable to")

How you want placenta delivered (natural or "managed" third stage)

Anything you Don't want, like medical students or student midwives present etc.

Making a really long plan is unhelpful IMHO as it sets you up to fail if you anything go awry during delivery, if it wasn't in your "plan".

[MrsMook]

I didn't make a proper plan with my first birth and I ended up being fairly traumatised after a low risk birth ended up being an emergency CS with me in HDU and baby being checked over for a few hours in neonatal.

Second time, I did have a detailed birth plan to help me deal with it. It wasn't going to be a plan A birth because it was a VBAC, but it did get me some concessions. I flatly refused pethadine under all circumstances, and refused DH to give permission stating clearly that the pain was far preferable. (In the first birth, I was easily persuaded to have it just after my waters were broken and the contractions went haywire, and it locked me into a world of pain, which I then emerged from around the time everything else was getting chaotic). I was also explicit about having a mat and birthing ball so I could get my monitored, SPD ridden body into a position to actually assist birthing a baby, rather than feeling horrendously uncomfortable beached up on my back like a lost whale.

When I went in, I set the MP3 and speakers up to loop my hypnobirthing track so it played constantly.

Did it avoid baby being born in theatre with a spinal block, forceps and a nasty tear? Of course not . However, it meant that my time labouring before that was considerably more comfortable and gave me mental control until quite late in the process. Was it worth it? Definitely. I knew that the actual birth would take its own course, but my birthplan gave me a starting point, and clear intentions for the period immediately after.

[Downwiththatsortofthing252]

I wrote I didn't want an episiotomy, but it had to done to get my baby out, so really there wasn't any point in being dead set against it. (And I'm not suffering any ill effects from it now and its been 3months)

I found that what helped me during labour was knowing that when the pain got too much at each stage that there was something stronger to move onto.

So when contractions first started I wanted to take paracetamol, then tens machine,then diamorphine injection, gas and air, birthpool and epidural if needed. I didn't have the epidural in the end, which I was glad of; I didn't want it but put it down as an option just in case.

I think its better to think of a birth plan as a way to explore your options and do some research

[noeffingidea]

When I was booked in for my first birth (way back in 1988) I was given a birth plan form to fill in, which I did. I don't think the midwife even looked at it during the birth.
I didn't bother for my 2nd and 3rd births.
Having said that, I'm one of those women who can give birth with minimum effort and be up and dressed cooking dinner an hour later. There wasn't really anything to plan.

[Hedgeh0g]

My birth plan for my first was very limited. Pretty much 'no forceps'. Baby was delivered by forceps in an emergency delivery that was almost a crash c section, which was absolutely the right thing. They did read the birth plan, and my midwife held my hand in surgery and reassured me about the procedure and the type of forceps being used.

Second time around, my plan is actually more detailed, I am treating it as a list of things that would ideally happen. Eg. I would request a senior midwife deliver the baby to avoid further damage after last time. I know this might not be possible. But if I don't ask, it definitely won't happen.

I'm also intending to breastfeed and based on past experience expecting problems. I have used the plan to warn them that I'll be a pain in the arse I'll be requesting support and that baby is checked ASAP for tongue tie, by someone qualified. And that I have brought in colostrum expressed antinatally.

What I don't have is gumph about candles and music and what position I want to labour in. I can decide and tell them that on the day.

[ThoraGruntwhistle]

I wrote one for DC1's birth and as far as I could make out, nobody read it, or if they did they ignored it completely as the opposite of what I had written happened.
I didn't bother writing one with DC2.

[teenmumandsowhat]

I didn't have a plan for my first, but for my second I had a list of "things to consider"
Eg. Ideally no epidural. (Didn't have one the first time either) and to keep an eye on my g&a usage.
In the end I managed to repeatedly knock myself out with the gas and air, whilst trying to cope with the pain..,

[SerendipitousFoxley]

Nope. I had "preferences" but I explained that they were just that, I'm fully aware that labour and birth is not something that can be planned, and sometimes decisions will need to be made that overrule my preferences.
Preferences were things like no labouring on my back, no pethidine, husband to cut the cord, skin to skin immediately.