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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate that my DH refers to helping as babysitting

30 replies

Pussywillows · 06/08/2016 23:11

I have 18 week old twin boys, I'm also just finishing up a 4 year degree. My exams and dissertation were due for a week after I gave birth and so I decided to defer them till August so not to have to retake the whole year.
DH said this evening he would sit upstairs with the babies so I could shut myself in the office with no distractions and beaver on.
In the two hours alone time I had he needed my help twice because both babies waned to do different things and were getting aggy. I just asked him to empty the dishwasher whilst I fed the babies and he said he was knackered from babysitting 'all night'!

First off, I know he works but I'm alone with them all day long, it can be hard when babies are both interested in different things and get annoyed but they're extremely patient babies and it's never a problem, I couldn't just have two hours to concentrate on my work which is very important to me

Secondly - it's not babysitting when it's your own babies Grin

AIBU? Even if I am - it was worth the rant WinkBiscuit

OP posts:
BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 07/08/2016 09:26

He's lucky to even consider it as babysitting, that implies he got sitting down occasionally.
Tell him you spend all day baby-rushing around like a blue arsed fly

DragonsEggsAreAllMine · 07/08/2016 10:32

It seems men call it babysitting and women call it childcare, it's never called just parenting on here whereas in real life it doesnt have a name it just gets done I find.

GettingScaredNow · 07/08/2016 10:40

STBXH used to always go on about how he would 'look after the kids FOR me' how this was a big favour he was doing.

He hated the job he had when Dd (4) was born and used to go in late, but when he eventually got sacked he turned it round to say how e HAD to go in late cos he HAD to stay home in the mornings and 'help' me. With what I never knew. He would overrule me on breakfast options, end up feeding Dd biscuits and crap, get in the way. Clog up the kitchen/bathroom when I needed to be using them and often we would go out before him cos I could t cope with him just hanging around in the way... But he was 'helping' me.
This is how he saw - and still sees - his role as father. That I am the mother and therefore everything hold related is my job and he 'helps' me when it suits him and I'm an arsehole for not showering him in glory for doing so!

He helped make them, it's just as much his responsibility to raise them. He isn't helping you. Boils my blood when men say this Angry

Skittlesss · 07/08/2016 12:07

Oooh this annoys me too. I hate the way people think it's a woman's job as well. MIL is always shocked when my DH takes time off work in the school holidays to look after the kids. We both work full time so why should I be the only one to take time off work?!

ErrolTheDragon · 07/08/2016 23:58

Glad to hear it's sounds like he's getting the message and you'll get a couple of days at uni.

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