Please tell me driving gets easier

[whatstheworstthatcanhappen1]

I am nearly at the point of giving up, I passed my test about 10 months ago and get so anxious when driving or if a journey is coming up.

I particularly hate stopping on a hill, with traffic lights etc as I feel like the handbrake won't hold the car, I get so worked up before and after a journey. I have never made any big mistakes and don't stall it or even roll back when I am doing a hill start but I still get so anxious.

I am at the point where I am avoiding driving unless I have to or I go at times that will be quiet on the roads and this isn't why I wanted to pass my test!

Does it get easier and when did you find it did?

[Offler]

I passed my test over 20 years ago, but due to various circumstances haven't driven much until recently. Now I have a 45min each way commute on the A12/14 route and despite bricking it to start (and having the all consuming anxiety before driving, and after, and lying awake at night overthinking it all) I am now much more confident and less anxious (was never anxious whilst actually driving, it was just the before and after). I have my own car (not auto, I quite like changing gear) and whilst my parking needs some more practice, the actual driving is becoming second nature. I even managed to cope in an absolute torrential downpour on the A12, which was horrible, but I didn't panic, just slowed down (everyone did!) and took my time!

I did have a couple of refresher lessons before I started, just to get me practiced on joining the dual carriageways and overtaking, which was much easier than I thought (it's all about joining at the right speed and checking those blind spots!). I've probably driven more in the last month than I have in the last 21 years!!!

I've stalled at big roundabouts, traffic lights, accidentally gone into the wrong gear on occasion etc and nothing bad has happened, it's rectified in seconds as long as you don't get in a panic, and it's happening less and less. (But even DP, with his 25+ years of constant driving, still stalls occasionally, it happens to everyone! You are just more self conscious of everything as a newer driver 😊)

[EveOnline2016]

I have never had an automatic but I'm not picky and will drive anything as long as it's safe and legal.

[EveOnline2016]

12 years passed my test and still get nervous at times.

[nanetterose]

I think more people would drive automatics if they weren't so concerned with other peoples reactions.
This thread has given us a sample!
Brits are very weird round the whole driving thing - l don't think many people find it relaxing/enjoyable.
I much preferred driving in the US - a much calmer and relaxed attitude.
op as many experienced drivers have mentioned (on this thread) just keep going. Eventually,even though you might not think so, your muscles will have been learning too -and you will relax.
Oh,and if you don't have to drive very far -then don't. The car was invented to make lives easier, however you choose to interpret that is your business.

[Butteredparsnips]

IME Automatics only "jump" forwards if you leave them in park. Which is the same as leaving a manual car in gear and taking your foot of the clutch.

[Butteredparsnips]

re Automatics. Never had an issue getting up hill and we tow a caravan. As a pp said, they are a god send in heavy traffic. I am happy to drive either, I just don't get the attitude to automatics. I can wash up by hand. I still prefer to use a dishwasher.

[pictish]

You don't lose your ability to drive a manual if you drive an auto!

I know that - but if you've just passed your test and driving is all new to you and you haven't yet achieved that second nature fluidity with gears, you might struggle to pick it back up again...particularly if confidence with gears is low.

[PageStillNotFound404]

I haven't noticed a particular difference in cost, NicknameUsed, although there do tend to be fewer autos than manuals in some models but then demand is still lower. I wouldn't know how they compare insurance-wise as I only have automatics, but I don't recall ever being asked about the transmission so I don't think it's a factor. I think insurance is still weighted to postcode, occupation, engine size and mileage far more than manual v auto. The difference I have noted is that you tend to get slightly worse fuel consumption with an auto - but to be fair I drive bigger rather than smaller engined models, 1.6 - 2.0l.

As for control, acceleration, hills etc - there really isn't any difference to driving the equivalent manual if you know how to get the best out of your car. Most of my autos have had a sports button or "kickdown" for needing to accelerate quickly out of trouble. I could, if so inclined, beat most cars away from traffic lights etc. I used to live halfway up a steep hill - my auto at the time never struggled. I've driven up and down Fish Hill outside Broadway in the Cotswolds and Sutton Bank in Yorkshire many times on holiday in my current car without any problems.

[NicknameUsed]

"If you're shooting forwards or backwards in an automatic, you mustn't be a particularly good or sensitive"

Nah, It only happened a couple of times, simply because I'm not used to driving automatics.

I think that there is probably a bit of snobbery from manual drivers because, physical difficulties aside, perhaps driving an automatic is regarded as a bit lazy? This isn't my view BTW, just a suggestion. I think the other reason is that perhaps the driver feels less in control of the car. In my very limited experience of driving automatics my concern would be not being able to accelerate quickly out of trouble. And I'm not confident how well I could get up the hills in my area.

I agree that they are brilliant when driving somewhere unfamiliar, and on the wrong side of the road. I would have found driving round Orlando a bit of an ordeal in a manual car.

Do automatics cost more to buy and insure than cars with manual gears?

[PageStillNotFound404]

If you're shooting forwards or backwards in an automatic, you mustn't be a particularly good or sensitive (to the car's weight/engine noise/pedal pressure) driver. I'd suggest it's your ability that's the problem rather than the car. They still need driving safely and sensibly, just as much as a manual does. I've been driving automatics for 15 years and have never shot forward/back (unless I've intended to!) or not been "in control".

Some weird mindsets towards automatics on this thread. They're not untamed horses or the prototype for a driverless car, you know. It's still up to you to drive them properly.

[nanetterose]

Also, although easier to drive on long journeys etc...you still have to learn to drive an auto. There are only two pedals ,but (ime) they work a bit differently.
Once you have the hang of it,you won't roll anymore than using a clutch to control.
You are still driving & you still need to concentrate.

[FastWindow]

pictish i drive an auto now. Second one ever, after about twenty five years of manuals.

I must be getting old, but it's a delight not having to bother with gears. Especially in a traffic jam. This, from a confirmed petrolhead. Not changing gears gives me that tiny bit of extra attention i need to spare inside the car, dealing with the kids. (And saves my left knee)

Disclaimer: i keep my hand in, driving a manual Transit van like a rally driver on the odd occasion. I luffs it.

[NicknameUsed]

"I'm not sure most people drive manual any more tbh"

I think most people do. I don't know anyone who drives an automatic, and I know a lot of drivers.

It is very hilly where I live and I wouldn't thank you for an automatic. I drove one last week in the US, and albapunk is correct that it would be too easy to shoot forwards or backwards when you don't want to. I found it a bit like driving a dodgem car.

[albapunk]

Just food for through but...

in an automatic (I drive manual and prefer to do so) its MUCH easier to shoot off backwards or forwards compared to a manual car, which can be pretty terrifying. It is very a much a put your foot down and go ime of trying them.

Stick with your own car for now and try facing and conquering your fears! You'll be a better all round driver for it! When I first passed I hated the first wee while, it was truly awful but now I'm whizzing about everywhere! You've said you barely stall so I think you can manage a manual no bother OP!

[LilacInn]

I have been a licensed driver for more than 35 years, most of them driving a geared transmission and only recently switching to manual (because the particular car was on sale, not because I really wanted an automatic)

I don't think using your savings for an automatic would help you that much. As someone pointed out, your muscle memory will improve - you will not even think about the motions involved with your feet and hands in braking, accelerating, shifting gears etc. for a while. Similarly the motions necessary to pause on a hill without rolling back will come naturally after a while.

Sorry to beat the drum but what you need to do is practise so that your subconscious brain learns and is able to take over. That cannot happen if you are only sporadically behind the wheel. Think of a trapeze artist for example - at first it is probably necessary to count beats or something to time the swing of bars and the launch etc. - after a while they just "know" when the right time to leap is, because they have practised the cadence 1,000 times over.

Try for every day if possible, even 10-15 min will help. Can you go to a large car park or other area, in the evening, and just repeat whatever maneuvers bother you? Soon it will feel like you are wearing the car, truly. You might even find it fun. I love to drive and find it so relaxing and enjoyable

[pictish]

I think the UK still prefers a stick shift by a long chalk. Everyone I know drives a manual except two.

I don't think there's anything wrong with automatic cars, it's just a personal preference thing.

[nanetterose]

I also have to laugh at the hang up Brits have with autos.
You don't lose your ability to drive a manual if you drive an auto!
There are many to choose from nowadays.
And my favourite: " l like to be in control"
These cars have an automatic transmission - they are not flying fucking carpets!

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

I'm not sure most people drive manual any more tbh. I know it used to be the case but think things have changed. I'm just thinking about my close friends and most of them drive autos now. In what way would it limit her? How many times are you likely to drive a car that's not your own OP? I drive an auto it's never limited me.
The UK is weirdly hung up on gears.

[pictish]

Also agree with Fruitcider - if you swap to an automatic now you'll lose the gear changing know-how and your future choice of cars and scenarios in which you can drive will be less. Most people drive manual in the UK - I don't think limiting your options when you have no need to, is a good idea.

[whatstheworstthatcanhappen1]

A bit of both butteredparsnips. I don't drive every day as where I work has no parking so have to get the bus, maybe this is the reason why It is taking me longer to get used to it.

It is something I wanted to achieve in my life and worked hard to do it. I left it late and passed when I was 28 and I do generally worry about things.

[Butteredparsnips]

Something else has occurred to me. Are you driving for pleasure or because you need to?

What about driving somewhere nice? Rural, pretty, easy driving? Or somewhere you want to go to, that is easier to get to in the car? It might help you to if you can think of it more positively.

[maizieD]

I can only reiterate what lots of others have said, get out somewhere quiet and practise; you only become skilled at something by practising.

I was an incredibly nervous driver. If I hadn't, by a miracle, passed my driving test first time I don't think I would ever have tried again. I didn't want to drive on my own after I passed my test but my DP made me do it. I'm really grateful to him for that because I know that the longer I'd avoided driving independently the less likely I would have been to have tried.

After a while everything becomes completely automatic; so much, in fact that I find myself indicating for turns and roundabouts when there is no other traffic on the road at all! It's just second nature.

It took me about a year to become really confident but I love driving now and am very happy to do long journeys on my own.

Still absolutely rubbish at parallell parking after 35 years.

[hunibuni]

It took me ages to be confident on the road when I was learning, to the extent that my instructor used to say that I had the strongest grip he had ever encountered The one thing he always emphasised is that I had as much right to be on the road and to embrace the F you attitude, so long as I was doing the correct speed and driving safely. DH also encouraged me to drive as often as possible, and my best friend lives in an area that has a lot of hills and traffic lights along them, so if I wanted to get to her house I would have to face my 2 hates, hills and roundabouts.

3 years on I'm more confident but I still pray that the lights stay green all the way up the hills DS's R plates have come off (NI) do we're going to attempt a motorway journey at the correct speed, not 45mph, so that he can get confident about slip lanes etc. The best thing I ever bought was a sat nav that tells you what lane to be in.

[Butteredparsnips]

Agree re pass plus, or perhaps going out with a more experienced friend. The test now is more comprehensive than it used to be and you have proved that you can drive at the required standard. The thing is though, as you begin to drive independently you sometimes come across situations you won't have encountered before. It's still a learning phase, and so it might help you to have a more experienced driver to support you.

2 of my DC have passed their test in the last couple of years, and DH and I answered quite a few questions / clarified thing for them in the early days, done motorways with them etc.

Ignore the naysayers here saying that anxious drivers are dangerous, but do take steps to improve your confidence and get more experience. The chances are you will enjoy it eventually.