To have been mad at this teacher

[Needabreaknow]

My son has been attending a preschool swimming class since the beginning of the year. Unlike his previous class because of the layout of the pool I can not see him during the lesson so am heavily dependant on teacher feedback to judge his progress.

Despite this I haven't received any feedback since he started (in January) and have witnessed parents getting their heads bitten off when they try to speak to the swimming teachers at the end of the lesson. I can sort of understand as they have back to back lessons so don't have time to chat to everyone after the lesson (though they do occasionally speak to some parents).

Anyway I found out last month that there is a form you can use to communicate with the teacher. Filled this in but still didn't get any response and when I asked them about this they said they never received it.

Recently at the end of the lesson the teacher called out across the pool in front of the other parents and my child that he had made progress today and prior to this had been really difficult to instruct as he gets distracted in the water and doesn't focus very well. Now I was a bit embarrassed that she had called this out in front of all the parents but what made me really livid is that my ds heard this and when he came to me kept repeating that his teacher had said he was difficult at swimming (he is 3 1/2 so couldn't fully understand what she had said). I kept trying to explain away that part and focus on the improvement bit but all he kept repeating was the bit about him being difficult.

Now I hate confrontation normally but I was so upset that I went back to the pool and called the swim teacher to speak to me and told her what she had said had upset my son. She repeated again that previously he hadn't been a good listener and it was up to me to work on that. However she then divulged to me that he is actually a good swimmer and had won 2 races that day. This pissed me off even more, firstly because she had only told me that after I confronted her about what she previously said and secondly because it contradicted what she had previously said which is that he does not follow instruction well. How could he have improved so much if he didn't listen. Anyway I now just want to move him from that class as I feel like the teachers play favourites and that they only focus on the negative with him so won't move him on to the next stage (just to remind that until this incident I had received no feedback whatsoever about his progress and only after questioning did they bother to tell me he was good enough at swimming to win races in his class). Am I being unreasonable to be so annoyed and should I move him?

[HarveySchlumpfenburger]

No problem. We've all done that.

[humblesims]

Fair enough. I got out of bed the wrong side I think! Just read the thread again and see that it is not unusual.

[HarveySchlumpfenburger]

It's very common humblesims.

Like a pp I don't remember any of mine being in the water. Personally I'd prefer to be out but with younger learners in a baby pool get in if needed.

[HarveySchlumpfenburger]

It's a mixture of personal choice and ratios I think. I suspect the teacher themselves makes more difference than whether they are in or out of the water.

I would have expected to be told about the not listening though. That's a fairly big issue in a swimming lesson because of the risks involved.

[humblesims]

YANBU. You pay good money for this and are not happy with the service. I get so cross when providers of childrens services (including a lot of schools) have the worst communication skills. Its like you as a parent are irrelevant and just an inconvenience. They should make time for feedback at the end of the session or term; most parents want it. I have never heard of a swimming teacher that doesnt even get in the fucking water. Personally (and I know plenty will disagree) I think 3.5 is young for formal swim lessons. I would spend one on one time swimming with the DC and getting them happy in water and start lessons nearer 5 or 6. But dont put up with this shit.

[Needabreaknow]

Well thankfully for me in his previous swim class the teachers would get in the water with them and so he improved quite quickly in that class. When I moved him to his current class initially they didn't want to take him as they said he was too young to be in water without a parent but after they assessed him they realised he already had some skills in the water so accepted him. It is a teaching pool so not that deep so that may be why they don't get it.

[Ameliablue]

I'm quite surprised they don't get in the water with them at that age. Around here for council run pre-school classes, the parents have to be in the pool and for private classes they have to pass several levels before the teacher stood being in the pool and as the minimum age is 3 or 3.5, it would be unlikely that a child that age would have had a chance to move through the levels.

[anewyear]

As a child, I dont ever recall an adult getting inthe pool with us during swimming lessons,
And as a parent, my children's swim teachers never got in the pool with them. No communication there either, but they did they did get badges and certificates with each level they passed.
A few years back i was an LSA to a 9yr old with Down Syndrome, he was in mainstream, the school went swimming once a week, and not once did the swim teacher get in the pool with the kids..
Ialso used to take Child minded child to swimming lesson, the teachers there never went in pool either.
It does seem to be common place and the noise levels are something else.

[Memoires]

And you know what? A million years ago when I was a child, teachers of extra-curricular things couldn't wait to tell the parents of their offspring's achievement and victories. I am really gobsmacked that they didn't immediately start telling you about him winning races.

I am so sick of hearing about unprofessional and inadequate activity teachers, especially as so many seem to charge inordinate amounts to be inadequate with your children.

[Muddlingthroughtoo]

Kids learn at their own pace, it used to frustrate me that my daughter was taking so long. She got there eventually, now I'm more relaxed watching my son as I know he'll get there eventually too. We never spoke to the swim teachers either, they don't get certificates or badges so every time my daughter moves on a stage a buy her a new swimsuit or towel or some sort of swim equipment.

[Memoires]

Oh no, that's not on. They don't even get in the water? They sound like rotten teachers - fine for 10/11 year olds, maybe a bit younger, but NOT for toddlers.

Move him. And tell everyone why.

[Ameliablue]

I'd move him

[Needabreaknow]

Thank you for the replies. They have been helpful to get perspective. I agree purple. But if I say it's because of his age I'm sure she would see it as an excuse. Actually one of the problems is that the teachers don't get in to the water with the kids so the children need to be able to listen to what the teacher says above all the noise from the pools and also be able to process the instruction without a demonstration which for a 3-4 year old is a hard task.

[purplevase4]

It does surprise me when people who are paid to work with kids moan when they are less than perfect. I don't mean in schools, I mean leisure activities such as this.

They are not in school. It is a leisure activity. If they can't deal with less-than-perfect-children, don't do the job.

Perfect children don't exist. Some are better at listening than others, and some will listen but be less good at putting what the teacher says into practice. We are not automatons, and swimming is a very technical activity. I don't always get it right in my mid 40s. It seems a bit much to have a go at a 3.5 year old for not getting it all the time.

[Memoires]

It sounds to me like your swim teachers are inexperienced and unused to dealing with any other side to the lessons than the actual pupils.

Maybe their business plan requires x number of kids at y level for z time, and they're just sticking to that, or maybe they don't have enough places in higher classes so they have a jam at the lower levels rather than lose kids altogether.

[antiqueroadhoe]

Sorry just seen that last message. Hope it works out better.

[antiqueroadhoe]

How are going planning to move forward?

[Needabreaknow]

Thanks for the advice. It's good to know I wasn't being over the top. I plan to move him back to the pool where he had lessons before. They also didn't give feedback but I could watch him from the side during the lesson so didn't need it. We stopped going as it was really early and I had to get rid of my car in January. But will see if they have other classes.

[deste]

If you are a poor swimmer you will have bad habits, why would you want your child to be a poor swimmer with bad habits.

I watched a swimming class this morning, the children were swimming in lanes. The best swimmer went first and had a lovely stroke, by the end of the line the stroke got worse and worse and they were a lot slower because I suspect they weren't listening and had bad habits. I could see she was demonstrating but some of them changed nothing. It's down to the teacher to demonstrate but also down to the children to get results also.

[EweAreHere]

The swimming teacher appears to lack training when it comes to dealing with young children and their parents. And the set up is not ideal for parents of young children, who have every right to want to know how their children are progressing (good, bad or otherwise!) because swimming is an important skill and lessons are very expensive!

I would move him and tell them why.

[Needabreaknow]

Exactly Bumpkin. Thecitydoc I'm actually not a good swimmer either. I never really got past level 2. I can swim but definitely not confidently and would probably drown in deep water. My ds also enjoys being in the water and he is able to swim well as the teacher told me and as I have observed. I just want him to move on because when I checked the skills he had to learn in stage 1 he seemed to have most of them and he is in the prebegineers.

[Bumpkin2]

So it was your place to work on him listening better in class, but had never actually given you any feedback to say that he wasn't listening? How were you supposed to know that there was a problem that you needed to work on then?!

[thecitydoc]

why don't you teach him yourself. I am a poor swimmer - my head never ever goes under the water - but started taking my son at around aged 1 and he took to it like a duck to water. By age 3 he was able to swim well. I can never understand why parents waste money on swimming lessons unless child has ambitions to be a competitive swimmer.

[Needabreaknow]

Sorry acasualobserver I'm actually a teacher too so know how critical people can be. Sometimes I worry though that this makes me less assertive for my ds as I tend to excuse or not want to bother the teacher even when there is a real problem. I only confronted this teacher because my son was so upset and kept repeating he was difficult. In nursery as well I also feel that maybe I gave his key carer a free pass for too long and it was only in the last term that I addressed my concerns and consequently he started to make improvement.