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AIBU?

Just passing and popping in.

41 replies

Patterkiller · 25/07/2016 20:29

AIBU or is 8.30 in a Monday night not a great time for the ILs to 'pop' in. They are starting to do this more and more now they are both retired. Dds are on school holiday and teens granted, but we still work full time and Mondays especially are so deflating. I just want my pjs and kindle right now. I haven't the energy to be unexoectably sociable.

WIBU to quickly run a bath and pretend it was already planned. DH says go for it but I feel a bit rude.

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Patterkiller · 25/07/2016 20:58

They are over sharers. Lovely but full on.

I'm starting to wrinkle but don't want to move.

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PovertyPain · 25/07/2016 21:00

Unexpected visitors do my head in. I work from home and people seem to think that means they can call in any time. I have a friend that does thus regularly. I reach my limit, thentell him that much as I appreciate his visits, I am very busy during the day, so maybe cut the visits to the weekend for a while. It works for a while then the constant visits creep up again. Thick skinned wouldn't be in it. I've taken to parking the car in a side road at times. My car's at the mechanics this week. It's going to be pure bliss.

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NavyandWhite · 25/07/2016 21:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PovertyPain · 25/07/2016 21:12

Next time they arrive, sit with a hot water bottle on your stomach. Explain that you're having a very heavy period. Go into great detail and time how long it takes them to piss off leave.

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yorkshapudding · 25/07/2016 21:18

I feel your pain. My in laws are masters of the poorly timed, unannounced 'pop in'. Always during the week and usually when we're in the middle of dinner or it's 2 yo DD's bedtime. I wouldn't mind so much but their idea of 'popping in' means staying for a few hours so that's our whole evening gone. MIL has never worked and FIL is recently retired but before that worked from home and was able to pick and choose his own hours. They either don't understand that weekday evenings are a terrible time to drop in unannounced on people who work full time or they don't care. DH has tried asking them to call ahead but that just resulted in them calling from the car when they were already on their way to say "we'll be there in 5 minutes", which is no better really.
We regularly invite them round for meals, ask them to come on days out with us etc and they're usually "too busy" (even though they don't work and have no hobbies) so I think it's a control thing, they want to see us but only on their terms.

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trafalgargal · 25/07/2016 21:18

I don't answer the door when I work from home (which is pretty much 100%) unless it is prearranged.

I don't hide the car- if asked about it I just say "When I'm working I don't answer the door as everyone knows my working hours so anyone knocking is a sales person and I'm not having my work interupted for them" It soon focuses them to let me know if they have a need to drop round and gives me the chance to say no - I do conference call from home fairly frequently and if they are pushy I just say I have a meeting on a conference call so it won't be possible. It took a while to retrain everyone though but now they are properly trained it's fine.

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AdmiralData · 25/07/2016 21:23

trafal I smirked at 'trained'. Cheers for that.

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PovertyPain · 25/07/2016 21:23

Trafalgagal I'm so envious of your forthright attitude. I'm such a wimp when it comes to my massive gang of in-laws. They're lovely and have been very supportive since I lost my husband, but good grief! There's such a thing as too much support. [grin. ]

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PovertyPain · 25/07/2016 21:24

Oops I can't even sincerely.

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cozietoesie · 25/07/2016 21:27

If people won't take a hint, you have little option but to be forthright.

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Willyorwonte · 25/07/2016 21:30

I'd carry on with my plans. A quick hi, gosh I'm sooooooo tired after the day I've had, then leave your dh to enjoy some quality time with his parents.

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Willyorwonte · 25/07/2016 21:31

I'm same as traf ... I don't answer the door or telephone unless it's convenient or prearranged.

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Patterkiller · 25/07/2016 22:06

Well. I had to come downstairs as my phone died and the charger was here. They have just left. Although they had a good fifty minutes of 'well, we should go, you need to be up in the morning'

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cozietoesie · 25/07/2016 22:08

Then someone should have said - with purpose - 'I'll just get your coat then'. DH for example.

And moved to the front door and opened it.

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MrsJayy · 25/07/2016 22:33

So they just popped in even if they are an hr away that is some pop in😀 why wont your dh tell them? Can you maybe invite them over midweek so its an arranged thing

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WutheringFrights · 25/07/2016 22:48

You need an unsubtle toddler.
We were visiting my mum a couple of years ago when my uncle and aunt 'popped in'
After three hours they starts to make the usual 'we'd best get going' noises, when DD aged 3 opened the front door, said 'goodbye, it was lovely seeing you', then stood with the door open and wouldnt close it until they'd gone.