WWYD "friend" ripped off our cleaner.

[User543212345]

A neighbour/acquaintance of mine asked me if I knew any good cleaners around a year ago and I recommended ours (we've had her for 5 years and she's wonderful), passed on telephone numbers and she has worked for him on and off since then.

This week she spoke to me about him. He works for an electrical company and said it was the sale and did she want anything. She asked for 2 hoovers - one for her and one for a friend - and gave him £100. This was 2/3 weeks ago and since then he has cancelled her coming to clean and not responded to her asking about the hoovers. I think even the nicest way to think of this is that the hoovers weren't available and he's embarrassed but it does feel like he's stolen from her. He has turned out to be quite the twat in other ways (indeed this is my second AIBU thread about him) so I'm not feeling particularly charitable towards his behaviours.

I feel a bit responsible as I introduced them, and also know that £100 isn't a small amount of money to her. She said that she will reimburse her friend so she's taking the whole hit herself. I'm probably overthinking.

Would it be weird/unreasonable/patronising to offer to cover some of her losses? Or should I keep out of it.

[RB68]

The whole thing is crazy - he clearly has money - a business, his own home and personal cleaning, so £100 isn't going to be a huge sum to him in the scheme of things. I would leave it for a short while and see what happens and then maybe come up with a bonus for the cleaner for something or other if he hasn't sorted. It could potentially be a cash flow thing esp if he was having a big sale etc

[BakewellSliceAgain]

I'd have to have a word. I'd say your friend the cleaner had asked you not too but that you see she is too understanding of his theft.

This is a large amount of money for a normal person. As seen by the fact she's covering her friend's share out of a sense of duty.

[ExtraHotLatteToGo]

It seems odd that she doesn't want you to talk to him, yet doesn't want anything to do with him once it's resolved. I could understand it more if she was desperate to keep the job.

If she has asked you not to mention it to him, she's preventing you from trying to sort the situation out, so no, I wouldn't give her the money. I might if I tried to sort it out and couldn't (only as you say because you introduced him as a 'known person' & because you can cope with the loss more than her, not because it's necessary).

I do like Doin's suggestion though.

[inmyheadimthequeen]

I agree with both TwoFs and MissDallas approach. I would probably give her the money in the same situation because I could afford it and she could not. I wouldn't intervene in the neighbour situation and certainly wouldn't accuse someone of theft with only one side of the story but I would feel some responsibility for introducing the relationship. If, in due course, it turns out to have been some sort of misunderstanding although I can't think how that could happen she can reimburse you.

[Kuppenbender]

As someone who runs a similar business, I can say that while I would appreciate the thought, I would be embarrassed for you to offer to cover any of my losses. It might be illogical, but I would feel as if you thought I was hinting that I expected this from you. I might feel reluctant to share similar information with you in the future.

I'm always happy for customers to pass on my details to other potential customers. They have only my gratitude as loyal customers and no responsibility if anything untoward happens.

Give it another 2/3 weeks, then ask your cleaner again if she'd mind you having a word with your 'friend'.

[AddToBasket]

I would speak up for her - and I would start getting things in writing. She can make a small claim - it isn't that hard to do and with your help she could get the money back.

This is one of those situations where if you are strong it is good to be able to speak out for people who are not in such a good position. It's good karma.

[Doinmummy]

The more I think about it the more I feel he should be dropped in the shit.

I would definitely go to his place of work and innocently enquire if the hoovers 'thieving bastard' has sold to your friend are in stock yet .

[Doinmummy]

He may well have been planning to steal the hoovers from his place of work - not put them through the books so to speak .

[User543212345]

I think he works for the head office of a well known electrical brand and the more I think about it the less that makes sense. Maybe he does sales for them?

I'm also a bit baffled at £100 for two hoovers - the brand he works for doesn't come cheap, so I suspect some of you suggesting that he's maybe not above board with work may be correct.

I'll speak to the cleaner this week and see if we can come up with a solution. I like the idea of letting her pay me back if he does come good or suggesting I get involved with a letter or similar.

What a total shit though. Who does this?

[Doinmummy]

It sounds as if he's ripping his employers off too - I've never seen a Hoover (even in the sales) being sold for £50 !

[Atenco]

I have an ex-cleaner who is going around telling lies about me, who I also thought was a lovely person, so I would be more inclined to ask him about the hoovers, actually. Though he seems to have form.

[trafalgargal]

He can probably at best get them at a friends and family rate through the staff shop .....or two there's a stealing ring at the warehouse or factory.

[WoahSlowDown]

To be fair to the guy two or three weeks isn't that long. he could have been on holiday or his 'supplier' could have been away.

[PoisonWitch]

I would ask him and if he is shitty about it, contact his employer. Tell him you will do this. I get that this is second hand info but OP knows he is a dick and had form for this sort of thing.

[BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted]

Any decent person who was going to "let their cleaner go" would give them some notice in order to find something else. This prick sacked her and held onto her £100 and it isn't a coincidence.

If I were in the same situation I'd cover her losses by finding some reason/excuse to do it. £100 to someone who cleans for a living is a lot of money.

[rookiemere]

I'd contact him and try to shame him into giving her the money back rather than paying it out of your own pocket.

[LellyMcKelly]

If you do want her to have the money but not have it seem like charity can you offer her a one off job - house sitting while you're on holiday or something? Your neighbour sounds vile - and is also probably having money problems.

[AppleSetsSail]

What an absolute cunt. Does he have a wife you can reason with? I would be tempted to contact his work as well, but that seems potentially quite perilous!

[PersianCatLady]

I don't mean this as harshly as it sounds but why did she give him £100 for the Hoovers before she received them?

[bumsexatthebingo]

I tell him that your cleaner mentioned he was selling her some hoovers at a good price and ask when he will be getting them as a friend might be interested. Or tell him your cleaners hoover has broken and does he know when he'll be able to get the new ones (you then have an interest if the old one isn't picking up properly at yours). A summer bonus is a lovely idea though if it doesn't get sorted.

[RueDeWakening]

It's possible he could source vacuums at that rate. I used to work for the head office of a national DIY chain, we used to live for the seasonal buyers sale in the canteen - I furnished my first flat's kitchen with a £5 dinner service, £10 set of saucepans etc didn't get a Hoover though they were gold dust

I think it'd be nice to help the cleaner somehow, I like the idea of a summer bonus - if you're away, maybe as an instead of visiting to clean type payment?

[AppleSetsSail]

If I were in the same situation I'd cover her losses by finding some reason/excuse to do it. £100 to someone who cleans for a living is a lot of money.

I would cover my cleaner's losses in these circumstances, but I'm a lot older than her and know her very well so I wouldn't have to worry about her perceiving it as patronising.

[EveEve13]

I would wait.
Hopefully in a few weeks he will have given them to her - she needs to message him about them and ask for $$ back or them.
Your cleaner is an adult and she can contact him - but maybe help her write a letter if text does not work. She cleaned for him for a year, so give him some time

[CatNip2]

You don't actually know the full story though do you? just her version of events.

I would be very inclined to stay out of it, especially since she has her reasons for you not mentioning it, and offer assistance with letter writing/form filling if she decides she wants to take him to the small claims court.

[AppleSetsSail]

You don't actually know the full story though do you? just her version of events.

They have had a working relationship for five years, though. I think that's probably long enough for the OP to form a judgement.