Nasty mother regarding her son's development.

[ProundParent2009]

My son is 8 years old and has a wide range of disabilities.

Last week we got the results back from a recent development check from his health care professionals.. It turns out his speech and language is currenty at 8-12 Months and physically 12-18 months.

I am a full time dad however due to court hearing I need to inform his mother of any information regarding our Son and his health care professionals/ Schooling.

I texted her as soon as I found out and she replied " is that it? Why can't he be like a normal 8 year old.. All he does is baby babble and fall over no wonder it's that low"

Since that text our son has turned 8 years old and she hasn't even wished him a happy birthday :/ it feels like she is embarrassed and dissapointed in her son!

AIBU to take her back to court and try and change things? She can see him supervised but hardly shows up and when I give her information regarding our son she is just plain nasty.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Yes I would get HCP to send her any letters, and info regarding your ds development or health. She sounds awful, it is best her not being in his life unfortunately.

[Grassgreendashhabi]

Red - completely irrelevant.

Poster is asking for advice

OP - sorry but I do not have any advice but I do hope you get things sorted. Sounds like you are doing a great job!!!

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

Red is right. This poster posts the same stuff over and over

No she's not and no he doesn't.

They may all be simerler in make up (disabled child mums a dick) but every single thing he posts about is to him a new event or a new thing for him to have to deal with.

Cut the bloke some slack it's not unusual to have a hard time finding an over all fix when to you it's hard to see an overall theme and all you are seeing is additional events seperated by occasional breaks

It's also much easier when your outside looking in

[AnotherTimeMaybe]

OP you're great parent ....

[AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected]

Red is right. This poster posts the same stuff over and over

Well, if the poster's ex is being shitty over and over… it's going to be something the poster might want to vent about more than once

[NattyTile]

Court won't change her right to be kept informed. But you can change how you tell her. Get the hospital to send info directly to her; if they can't do that (but they should), then just post it to her last known address.

[AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected]

Can you photocopy and post her HCP info so there's no "conversation"/interaction between the two of you?
You don't need her draining you, but I don't see why you want to go back to court. I think it's possible to protect yourself emotionally whilst still getting the info to her.

Texting it is a bad idea, it's too easy for her to fire back a shitty reply. Put it in the post, sounds like replying that way'ld be too much hassle for this woman.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Yes well - maybe he doesn't have anyone else to talk to about how awful his child's mother is, and so he vents on here, the same as a lot of us do.
No harm in that.

[Jackie0]

I'm still not clear on what you're asking.
She's not showing up for the supervised visits and she's not interested and dismissive about the medical info.
This is good surely? She's going to disappear from your lives without any involvement from the courts.
Is it that you want the injustice of it all recognised?
You won't get any satisfaction from that, you will have much more peace of mind just accepting that you won't change her.

[SalemSaberhagen]

Red is right. This poster posts the same stuff over and over.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

OK RedHare.

[vic1981]

Think the op is looking for support, Redharewithblondehair, not "a pat on the back". How rude.

[hollyisalovelyname]

That's awful Prouddad.
Send her info if you have to and ignore hee comments.
Very odd behaviour from a mother.
Was she always so nasty?

[Duckyneedsaclean]

You're lovely, aren't you, RedHareWithBlondeHair.

[honkinghaddock]

That was an unpleasant comment RedHair.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

I would imagine going back to court would be to remove the need to inform the child's mother of anything to do with her son, and to possibly stop the supervised visits, if she's not bothering to show up, because it's a waste of time for everyone else.

In which case, yes, you might as well - but you'd need to have proof of her failure to attend, and of the nasty things she's said.

RedHare - if that is the OP's real name, then I strongly suggest you report your own post to either be deleted or get it modified to remove the name. It's incredibly rude to out people on MN.

[GenerationX2]

I'm so sorry your post mad me so sad, I agree with wizzywig - she is a heartless bitch.

I wish you could cut her out your life - and honestly if I ruled the world I would approve that based solely on that text

[Jackie0]

Take her to court and change which things ?

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

It's normal practise for HCP to send seperate letters/reports to both parents these days.


And to the poster upthread who asked about terminating parental rights in the UK and without an actual adoption it's incredibly rare.

I can think of 4 cases off the top of my head nationally and all of them involved pretty extream abuse.

Ending actual PR is far more unusual than just not granting it in the first place.

[GabsAlot]

go through the third parties just dont have any contact with her tell them and show the court her replies

[Finola1step]

I would register a new email that you use just for communication with her. Then email any relevant info as and when. That way you have proof of what you have sent.

Or send info registered post. Again so you have proof that you have sent it if you ever need proof.

But don't engage.