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AIBU?

was I unreasonable to threaten sons xbox friend with the police

49 replies

1pink4blue · 01/07/2016 14:37

my son is 10 and has an xbox and online he friends are from school.
yesterday he comes to me and asks me if I have a camera he can borrow so I ask him what it's for and he starts to tell me about this 18 year old who has added him as a friend and wants him to send a picture of himself.
my son doesn't have a phone as we feel he Is too young.
I started a conversation with my son about this person and he started telling me that this person has been asking if my son has facebook or whattsap or any social media things.
It made me very uneasy something just doesn't feel right so I asked my oldest son who is also 18 to message this person to not contact my 10 year old again that we feel it is inappropriate to be asking him for any pictures or any social media addresses and that if he tries to contact him again we would call the police.
my oldest son has blocked this person and I have spoke to my son about it and all he said was mum I asked him if he was a pervert and he said no.
I have removed his xbox from his room and he now will play it in his older brothers room with somebody there.
have I over acted or am I right.

OP posts:

Report

HarryPottersMagicWand · 01/07/2016 22:56

Wow, well done OP. Handled exactly right. It's great that your son could tell you. Agree with everyone else. No innocent reason why he would be asking for pictures and other ways to contact him. I hoe you get some joy from reporting. I definitely would do the same.

1pink4blue · 01/07/2016 20:17

Ratbag I am going to change his avatar name as it is his first name and last name which in hindsight was a very bad idea

OP posts:

Ratbagcatbag · 01/07/2016 19:47

Also make sure his avatar name doesn't give any clues to age etc. I play online gaming through Xbox. I stupidly used my first name and the house number I lived at with a few characters either way. So eg Mildred11
The number of blatantly older people enquiring if I was 11 years old, if I was a virgin, if I wanted cock!! As well as getting lovely heavy panting messages through the headset or just blatant come ons. I block and report on a regular basis. Another thing we made DSS do (and I do by default) if playing a team game, I mute anyone who isn't a friend, not only for the swearing (which doesn't bother me) but the sheer level of vileness on there too. I love gaming and I think it's opened up a great new world, but one that needs to be navigated carefully.

1pink4blue · 01/07/2016 19:42

thanks Bengalcatmum I will find the story and show him he already knows about the boy being
murdered.
I've spoken to my son today and told him how proud I was that he told me.

OP posts:

1pink4blue · 01/07/2016 19:38

cabrinha I was with my son and he just typed what I said as he was on the xbox at the time

OP posts:

HeartOnTheLine · 01/07/2016 19:08

Speaking of Breck Bednar I was watching a documentary on what happened to him, this afternoon it is so sad that things ended like that.

When my DS gets older there won't be any online gaming for him.

BengalCatMum · 01/07/2016 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mygorgeousmilo · 01/07/2016 18:46

YANBU

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 01/07/2016 18:44

No genuine 18yr old wants to be friends with a 10 yr old..

Yanbu

Cabrinha · 01/07/2016 18:17

You did the right thing.
The only thing I would have done differently is email him myself, not leave it to your other son to do - I don't understand that.

needsadrinky · 01/07/2016 18:07

I would also talk to his school about getting a visit from The Breck Foundation they come in and talk to the kids and parents it's very informative and worth it.

1pink4blue · 01/07/2016 16:39

yes your all right I'm going to report it to CEOP
thanks again

OP posts:

Chattymummyhere · 01/07/2016 16:27

You did the right thing my ds plays online with people in minecraft but the Xbox is in the Livingroom and it's actually my Xbox live account he uses so everyone thinks his an X year old women. You can never be too careful when it comes to online communication and children/early teens.

Alfieisnoisy · 01/07/2016 16:23

You did absolutely th right thing. My DS plays his XBox in the living room so I can see and hear what is happening.
The only adult he ever speaks to is his friend's Dad and that's only if his friend and Dad are playing a game and invite DS to join them. The rest are school friends.

blushrush · 01/07/2016 16:17

You definitely did the right thing. You handled it with a level head and explain to your 10 year old why.

It might be worth getting your older son to report the Xbox Handle to Microsoft, just in case. Then at least there is a record.

EttaJ · 01/07/2016 16:07

Definitely report! There was a 14 year old that was killed last year because he met someone that way. Stop this person contacting children whose mothers don't know what's going on or whose children don't confide in them.

There is NO reason that he wanted a photo other than a sinister one. It is called grooming and it's not uncommon sadly. I used to keep an ear and eye out when my DC played COD online. The language and verbal abuse was shocking . Sorry you're having to deal with this OP 💐

Sallyingforth · 01/07/2016 16:05

I would certainly give the details to CEOP.
This is unlikely to be the only such approach he has made, and he may already be on their watch list.

Goingtobeawesome · 01/07/2016 15:57

Have you had a chat about being too trusting? He asked if he was a pervert and accepted it when he said not.

I've got an 11 year old and it scares me how the whole world can be in your house and you've no real way of knowing who they are.

OurBlanche · 01/07/2016 15:53

Report to CEOPs and the BreckFoundation anyway. It can't hurt it do so and might be helpful to them at some point.

Well done getting him all blocked and having 2 sons who talk to you and have listened!

Whinyleonard · 01/07/2016 15:49

Christ I usually think mners over react to most things but this? I would be reporting this man and expecting him to be investigated. If there is any chance that a young person could suffer abuse, I would not let it go. I suffered abuse when I was about 10 where 2 men used to ring my house when nobody else was around. I never found out who they were or how they knew when I was alone. I am 40 now and have never been able to get over it. Nobody ever touched me but the memory of those calls will never go away. I hope they died horribly. I am fairly sure they worked for the LEA as they knew all about my school and teachers etc.

1pink4blue · 01/07/2016 15:40

lilacinn that's what worry me

OP posts:

LilacInn · 01/07/2016 15:37

That "18-year-old" is probably 40.

You did the right thing.

1pink4blue · 01/07/2016 15:36

I don't know what I could tell the police though all I have is a first name if it's his name, an age if that's his age and a screen name oh and that he lives in London.

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1pink4blue · 01/07/2016 15:34

I spoke to my son about the boy who got murdered and I tried to explain the dangers of the Internet.
he said that he understood.
Ratbag I will be keeping a close eye on all his friends list from now on and deleting any I don't know.
I went through his messages as his headset isn't working thankfully and there haven't been any sexual remarks or anything like that but I don't know what it is but I just have a bad feeling.
I have an 18 year old myself and he said that definitely wasn't right as in he never talks to kids and he has blocked everything.

OP posts:

nannybeach · 01/07/2016 15:31

You did the correct thing, be good in you could give the Police some info

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